Mathy, I need your help with my grocery bill

[buztah]

For years I have been salivating at the thought of the possibility of enjoying free groceries by swiping them from the neighbour after he gets back home from the store (I already enjoy many free expensive plants, shrubs and flowers from his garden as I can easily dig them up at night under cover of dark and in my patented black hoodie). One day I went for it (his phone rang right as he popped the trunk so he ran inside) and I swiped a bag from his car which contained steaks, chicken and peanuts. Kokphuck did not see me but old lady across the street came hobbling over to tattle so I had to buy her off with 2 steaks and my last 8 cigarettes (phucking kunt!).

I would appreciate your wisdom in creating a source of free groceries in perpetuity. Thanks, pal.

[BatemanPatrickl]

Democrats. Ask them.

[flyingillini]

Buzzy, I am proud to see I am now a member of True Lion Sports. The #1 sports handicapping service in the industry. True Lion has made me over 4k in the last two months. It has provided me with 67% winners in Hockey Totals. May Jesus Christ Bless True Lion and the CEO!

[buztah]

Illini, your cheque bounced and you are phucking cut off, bitch!

[flyingillini]

Buzzy, I could use a few points to pay my bill. Thanks! True Lion is a Godsend!

[BatemanPatrickl]

Flyer may JC bless you too

[flyingillini]

Flyer may JC bless you too

JC died for you!

[mathdotcom]

buzzy you are approaching this in the wrong way completely

1) locate grocery store with a SELF CHECK-OUT
2) buy as many bulk items as possible
3) under report the amount of bulk items

No one will fukking notice. The old hag working the scanners could not care less if you have 5 longjohns in your brown bag or if you have 6.

When scanning tomatos, always enter them as the cheapest brand available. Oops?

If you outright want to steal groceries there is no more tried and true method than helping an old lady with her groceries to her car.... and then fukking swiping them and running off. She is too old to scream at any reasonable volume and even if she can, most people will write her off as senile.

Buzzy wear a hat. You look like a criminal so best to hide your face as much as possible.

mathy
PS: when are you next coming to the bull buzzy?

[Deuce]

buzzy you are approaching this in the wrong way completely 1) locate grocery store with a SELF CHECK-OUT 2) buy as many bulk items as possible 3) under report the amount of bulk items No one will fukking notice. The old hag working the scanners could not care less if you have 5 longjohns in your brown bag or if you have 6. When scanning tomatos, always enter them as the cheapest brand available. Oops? If you outright want to steal groceries there is no more tried and true method than helping an old lady with her groceries to her car.... and then fukking swiping them and running off. She is too old to scream at any reasonable volume and even if she can, most people will write her off as senile. Buzzy wear a hat. You look like a criminal so best to hide your face as much as possible. mathy PS: when are you next coming to the bull buzzy?

You dunce, self scanners measure weight of the product, will not work at all.

[aggieshawn]

weird

[fsugolf]

Any other brilliant ideas on how to steal groceries you broke degenerate fuks

[2daBank]

Any other brilliant ideas on how to steal groceries you broke degenerate fuks

[FrozenMAN]

Any other brilliant ideas on how to steal groceries you broke degenerate fuks

well in my 5 years as frozen manager i saw bunch of wild shit

1) easily best all time was when this guy walks in, grabs 2 brown paper bags from the front end, walks into the frozen aisle to the pizza cases, i was building a display at the end of the aisle. ****in guy open the door to the jacks pizza, takes 10 of them, puts them in the bag and simply folds over the top and walks out carrying 2 bags. i stood in amazement lol

2) one time a shoplifter got caught filling up coolers and large plastic bins that were on sale with food. someone in the department saw them and called em out which freaked em out. they force through the front end and out the door as we chased em. she abandons the cart and trips so we got her and called the cops and was taken away. the ****ed up part is that the slut had a kid in one of those seat things in the shopping cart and pretyt much just left her and tried to flee.....what a ****in cunt

3) in the summers we always had way to much ice in the freezers so we had to double stack pallets of it and the 80lb sleeves of bags on eahc other. so a wall like structure would always develop thus were perfect locations to sample the ice cream products so we could give insight if someone asked, o is this good? lol, within a week we had the COMPLETE set of those fudsicle riddles and silly jokes

4) whenever the sample ladies would come in they always had extras so they just gave us them to take home to try.

5) this asian checker was a total ****, on every break the kid woudl steal a fruit cup platter and a sushi platter LOLOLOLOL, like $25 every break was unreal, finally the **** quit

AND THE ALL MIGHTY if you work in a grocery store:

THE BLACK MARKER, with that bad boy everything can be on "clearance" lol

[Deuce]

Go to Target, grab a cart, grab two garbage cans big enough to hold a lot but small enough to fit in a cart, fill up the garbage can, pretend like your shoulder is fukked up and can't lift it out of the cart to scan, they scan the can, you buy the can and the rest of the shit in the can for the price of the can.

[fsugolf]

Go to Target, grab a cart, grab two garbage cans big enough to hold a lot but small enough to fit in a cart, fill up the garbage can, pretend like your shoulder is fukked up and can't lift it out of the cart to scan, they scan the can, you buy the can and the rest of the shit in the can for the price of the can.

just make sure it's not anything with the electronic device that sets off the alarms

[FrozenMAN]

Go to Target, grab a cart, grab two garbage cans big enough to hold a lot but small enough to fit in a cart, fill up the garbage can, pretend like your shoulder is fukked up and can't lift it out of the cart to scan, they scan the can, you buy the can and the rest of the shit in the can for the price of the can.

i just CLEARLY debunked that myth, CAN NOT BE DONE!!!! we in the industry observe

[Deuce]

just make sure it's not anything with the electronic device that sets off the alarms

Wrap higher end items in tin foil and you're game.

[OmgUrMom]

~post removed for posterity reasons~

[buztah]

buzzy you are approaching this in the wrong way completely

1) locate grocery store with a SELF CHECK-OUT
2) buy as many bulk items as possible
3) under report the amount of bulk items

No one will fukking notice. The old hag working the scanners could not care less if you have 5 longjohns in your brown bag or if you have 6.

When scanning tomatos, always enter them as the cheapest brand available. Oops?

If you outright want to steal groceries there is no more tried and true method than helping an old lady with her groceries to her car.... and then fukking swiping them and running off. She is too old to scream at any reasonable volume and even if she can, most people will write her off as senile.

Buzzy wear a hat. You look like a criminal so best to hide your face as much as possible.

mathy
PS: when are you next coming to the bull buzzy?

Truly a king among men, Mathy. Thanks, pal.

Buzzy


P.S. Am no longer welcome at the bull as I tried your dine n dash while a bit tipsy and owner called cops. Cop and I agreed there would be no arrest made if I blew him and agreed never to come back -- i did what any man with priors would have done.

[mathdotcom]

buzzy just come dressed as webber

besides i know management and there will be no issues. guy owes me 20 dimes after i bailed him out last year

[THE HITMAN]

Easier than most, man.............let your neighbor catch you, deck him in the process, call him an ethnic or racial slur. Let him charge you & plead guilty. Free groceries for 1-2 years.