Johnny Damon Gets offer from Phillies

[acarmelo1]

With his Yankee career all but officially over, outfielder Johnny Damon says is he unsure of where he will play next. But he does know one thing: he will play with an incredibly douchey beard. "It's been tough for a guy like me playing for the Yankees the last four years with their facial hair policy," said Damon. "I missed four prime, experimental beard-growing years of my career." Damon says he has already commenced beard growth. "I'm working on mutton chops that fade into a chin strap beard that meets with a soul patch that then runs vertically down my neck, where it meets with my chest hair, which will be shaved into an Ed Hardy logo." Damon has already received a contract offer from the Philadelphia Phillies.
Original Link

http://www.sportspickle.com/might-have-heard:171/johnny-damon-to-commence-growing-a-really-douchey-beard

[Tsoprano]

How about once he stops banging into fukking walls and getting injured trying to pull of ridiculous stunts...then he can grow a beard.

[Brock Landers]

guy was at his best in KC and Oakland

[acarmelo1]

How about once he stops banging into fukking walls and getting injured trying to pull of ridiculous stunts...then he can grow a beard.

I think you dont like Damon am I wright?

[DOMINATER]

Good club for him

[ttwarrior1]

whose gonna get benched for damon?

[bobbyfk]

hope we get him

[tltaylor89]

Damon wants big money

[jjgold]

Guy is old, baseball is for young guys

Bad move Phila

[Shortstop]

Damon has perhaps the weakest arm of all MLB outfielders.

[ryanjep]

you guys realize that sports pickle is a comedy website right

[moses millsap]

hopefully his greed and this has been the way he's been his whole career, so no surprise, will lead to a stint overseas when he rejects all small offers from mlb clubs

hate this guy

[babyanni]

Weak arm

[acarmelo1]

Is Damon the most hated MLB player???

[GiveMeaBJ]

Any Mets fans to want to join I am going to hold a group suicide after he signs.

[Vesuvius]

guy was at his best in KC and Oakland

Are you serious? He was a .300 hitter for the Yankees and was CLUTCH in the playoffs.

[Lost Angel]

How about once he stops banging into fukking walls and getting injured trying to pull of ridiculous stunts...then he can grow a beard.

Beard would cushion some parts of him when he happened to run in to a wall. The bigger the beard the better in that respect and he should definitely grow one asap.

[GRUMPERZ]

Angels might as well sign him to go with all the other douche OF's the Yankees didn't want.

[cadillac pete]

I always liked Johnny Damon. He was of course a member of 04 Sox championship.

[Busterflywheel]

guy was at his best in KC and Oakland

Agreed..especially with KC

[Carseller4]

Damon would be better off in the American League. Could add a couple of years to his career with the DH.

[freeVICK]

theres no way you can bench victorino

[whatsgood5]

you guys realize that sports pickle is a comedy website right

I don't think anyone did.

[blackbart]

i hope its not a joke,

[daneblazer]

nobody reads shit around here

[DOMINATER]

Damon is a red sox destroyer

[DOMINATER]

Shortstop damon has the weakest arm in any little leaque club

[cav1x]

Victorino is much better than Damon...no way they'll bench him

[Zubi]

[xxred_hottxx]

haha playing for the phillies with a beard

[rob11234]

That is pretty funny. Seriously, though, Damon is not worth the money he's looking for. Is he really worth $10 million + more than a player of Randy Winn's caliber?

[ryanspeer2001]

I hadn't even seen the website yet and knew this was a joke. Phillies have nooooooo chance or interest.

[Bsters]

Damon should take that offer and run. Je might have a weak arm, but in left field that doesn't matter as much. He could also be a situational hitter off the bench.

[Boner_18]

I guess he would be good if he were to go to a team that has a top notch throwing coach.

[spartangreen]

He is going to end up with the Tigers not the Phillies.