Has anyone ever felt like this? Don't make fun of me please

[will2survive]

I used to wager lots of money.Just like any other risk taker,you win some you lose some.Lately times have been tough.I have basically been playing contests,poker freerolls,and a couple 30 dollar deposits(pathetically,I can't really afford).

I've been concentrating on poker.Playing those freerolls and free satellites on sites to try to win a spot to win something.

Basically I have a Major Skill(and I mean it when I say it) when it comes to poker.I slow play--I'm very in tuned to other people,regardless of the cards.My problem is I seem to get past th 95 percent of the people but can't get in the money.Theres time's where I've been the chip leader--and I choke

I play on Bookmakers poker because the free satellites have a small amount of players.I came in 8th out of like 300 people and I got a 50 dollar freeplay--IT LOST.I've played in the satellite for 1500(not a lot but when you don't bet anymore,it's a lot). Bookmaker has a policy of the top 3 advancing out of like 200 people. 3 times,I have come up in 4th place..Everytime I get in the top 3--I would find a way to choke.IT'S JUST CRUSHING TO BE ONE PLACE SHORT after playing for 3 hours.I've been in a lot of other tourneys like I said but I just played in a free one(which dosen't come about often)---I was in 1st----In my mind,I knew that I was going to find a way to choke.Sure enough--I spit the bit and came in 4th.It's such a minor thing.I've been through tragedy(parents died early)and other things but I swear this tournament was the backbreaker.Coming up just short.I swear,I want to cry--I feel like an ass for feeling this way.It takes so much effort to get to the top in these tournaments.I'll be damned if I go to buy a giftcard(I can't afford it and am trying to be responsible)SBR is a great outlet.I know these are small tounaments(I've lost in the past bigtime),but I'm just crushed.
If this post is annoying and whiney,I apologize-just ignore it).If anyone understands where I'm coming from--replies would be welcome.There are so many more important things in the world.(health,people,children-etc.)---I can't help myself---I'm such a positive person ---why can't I put "coming in 4th out of 159 people--not winning a dime" into perspective? If I'm a jerk or you think that I'm acting in a selfish manner,please tell me politely. Good Luck to everyone tonight!(and me in my pathetic contests-lol)---Joe

[HotStreak]

Nothing to get down about Joe.

It's a positive that you are able to finish in the tops of these. The fact that you won nothing for 4th place in something that you did not pay to enter is no big deal. The times that you do see a profit from these are great. Start keeping a log of the free plays and other prizes you get from various free contests. Looking back over a few months, and seeing that you won a few hundred dollars worth of whatever, and comparing it to the fact that over those same few months, you could have lost your whole paycheck numerous times over, should make you feel better.

Some people may point out that all the time you waste dicking around in these free rolls is a cost in itself. If you are trying to make a living from poker, then certainly; however, if you are addicted to the action, and just cannot afford to lose your money, contests and free rolls are a great way to keep the blood flowing while not ruining your life.

Keep plugging away, and best of luck!

[will2survive]

Thanks HotStreak---I appreciate the advice and kind words.It made me feel a little better about myself.I'll just keep on fighting the good fight---a person can only do their best and try to be good to others.---I know you're right--thank you

[Dunder]

I have a little bit of a similar issue. I play in $20 MTTs occasionally, and get in the money very often and as far as the final table more than I should statistically. I am not great however at changing up my game when the blinds are at hurtful levels. I am also a very tight player by nature.

I nearly always find myself picking exactly the wrong spot to make a move, and end up getting busted in ways that would never happen earlier in a tournament. Limping into 4th or 5th place when a win was possible is quite dispiriting.

Have you read any books on tournament poker? You might find some useful tips.

[stevek173]

I can totally relate Will. I myself was sitting with thousands at cash games on various sites about a year ago and because of life changes and losing my job I now come here for free action. It's awesome, I'm glad I found it and when I really get back on my feet (new job will wee) I will still be here running the free stuff because...SBR RAWKS

[DrStale]

I don't know why myself, but getting spiked on the river to bust on the bubble hurts 10 times worse than the miracle 3 ponter at the buzzer to cost me a cover.

It's going to hurt that much more when you need to win the tourney you're playing, which seems to be the case with you as you are playing low-level all-in or freerolls. My best advice would be to take a break from the action and build a decent sized bankroll, then start playing low level tourneys to build your roll. This should take the pressure off of feeling the need to win every time, and finishing a couple places out of the money shouldn't sting as much. BOL.

[will2survive]

You guys are great-----I appreciate the advice----dunder:I tighten up on that final table----I control the action until the final table and then my instincts or courage go south----but thanks for the replies

[byronbb]

When you are chip leader the idea is to be aggressive. A tournament/sng is about coming 1st not 2nd or 3rd.

[Steeve]

Joe,

It sounds to me as if you should try your hand at some cash tables for a while. I know you are in a tight financial position right now, but hear me out. You are psyching yourself out every time as you get closer and closer to the money. You have to rebuild your confidence before you will EVER be able to overcome that. I think the only way that will happen is by getting into some cash tournaments, and walking away a few times when you are up $$$.

If you do that for a while, you may also realize that not all cash players are great tournament players, and vice versa. You may just be wired for cash play.

Whatever you do, don't give up. It sounds like you have a gift for the game I love. You can make a lot of money playing poker, but you have to find your niche.

[Swinging Johnson]

Hi Joe,

Your honesty is disarming and I think we've all felt like you at one time or another but you can't let it eat you up. Confidence. You need confidence my friend. You know you're very good but it seems that people who run perpetually close but fail are in some way, sabotaging themselves because they don't feel like they deserve anything good to happen to them.

Regardless, if you've read any of my posts you know I'm a guy who loves to joke around. I get paid to do it actually. However, all kidding aside, I want to congratulate the posters who responded to this thread. I think your sincerity was apparaent and I am proud of the way the guys responded to you. Now I'm sure that leaves the perfect opening for someone to bust this thread and be a complete db. I wish you luck Joe.

[TheAccountant]

Very natural brother - but as many have said, there is a lot to be proud with consistent top finishes in these free roll tournaments. I find it is much harder to play in free rolls, as it is very psychologically different for all players than a normal tournament.

Everyone has cold streaks in all aspects of life.

[MC PICKS]

I hear ya man. Trust me, if your bubbling outta freeroll satelites frequently, then you are a good player since online freeroll sats are tough to get a seat. You got every hump in the world callin and pushing with dogshit. I got one suggestion for you which as far as making cash on a freeroll, instead of freerolling in a satelite to get a ticket. Bodog has a freeroll every day at 2:40 pm EST. Pays out 63 places, cash, 120 to the winner, 75 to second and 45 to third and so forth. They ususally only get about 3500 players, so its not like one of those ridiculous 10 or 12 thousand player freerolls you'll get on stars(and tilt I'm sure has em too but I dont know cause I hate that site and havent played on there in over 3 years) and you get cash in your account to play however you want(poker, casino, horses or sportsbook). Also if you get 20 or 30 bucks to deposit, I suggest Bodog(obviously) and Ultimate Bet for poker but I like Bodog better since theres more to wager on being the true degenerate that I am, lol. They have 1,2 and 3 dollar MTT's that get 100-200 players weekdays and 150 to 300 players weekends on average(more on UB). Stay away from Stars if your playing micro stakes because rarely theres less than 100k players on there at one time and most of them are in the micro stakes. Dont get down man and BOL in the future. It'll all work out.

[will2survive]

I appreciate everyone's advice.There are some real good people on here and I didn't know it.Makes me feel real good.I'll never give up---I'm confident that I have a gift but as we know in life,if you have a talent,gift in anything,if you don't use it properly or with confidence you won't get anywhere in life(I'm not just talking about poker).I gave myself the name will2survive because I truly believe that I have the will2survive in poker,in life,in finishing the marathon of life(I'm 38 years old) with dignity and strength. I wish everyone on here the best.I learned a lot today by everyone who responded to this post.THANK YOU

[JohnAnthony]

Good luck with your venture Joe, poker is a real grind - harder than sportsbetting (although I haven't done the latter professionally).

This thread reminds me this place is still one of the best.

[daydrinkn]

I agree with him. When you are the chip leader make your preflop raises larger than necessary. This way most of the time you are going to take the pot down preflop (which isn't always a bad thing) and many times you are going to get called by people who are low stacks trying to recover or go broke. Either way, you should be in control. Keep your head up man. Anyone who has played poker long enough knows what it feels like to be the one out just before the money.