Elijah Dukes: my new favorite player

[The HG]

http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/23/Tampabay/Ballplayer_s_wife__He.shtml

Aside from his super-cool name, this is how he threatened to kill his wife:

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."

If I were going to threaten to kill my wife and kids, I'm not sure how I would put it, but no way could I come up with something that fluid and gripping, and I'm a good writer.

Plus, my man is 22 years old, and he got fi' kids by fo' different women. Although the article says four have taken him to court where they determined "Elijah, you ARE the father", so if four took him to court and he has 2 with his wife, ain't that six kids by fi' different women?

[isetcap]

That's ghetto math.

In all seriousness, this guy is the real deal when it comes to evil people in bigtime athletics. A lot of athletes look bad under the media microscope, but Elijah would have looked bad even before the advent of any visual aids.

It will not surprise me in the slightest when he is arrested for aggravated manslaughter. Meanwhile, the Devil Rays are hoping he can keep putting up numbers so they can maintain their grip on 5th place (dead last) in the AL East.

"I've got to go. I've got a video game to finish."

[moses millsap]

He should hang out with the Vick brothers.

[rjt721]

"I've got to go. I've got a video game to finish."

That's my favorite part of this story. Classic.

[Brick Tamland]

[RickySteve]

Racizm r00lz!¡!

[jjgold]

Well if this is true he is done in baseball forever

Why are most of these guys black?

[The HG]

Well if this is true he is done in baseball forever

Why are most of these guys black?

Because, JJ, in the ghetto, it ain't like what it is in the Brady Bunch, or on Park Avenue. They don't have perfectly chilled fruit bowls and manicured lawns and creamy white soap dishes like they have where you and I and Willie Bee and RickySteve and Razz and Owned and BigBoyDan and whomever else is from. You know what they have in the ghetto? Death, drugs, danger, cops and guns. In the ghetto, 85% of males over the age of 25 have either been killed, incarcerated, or on Maury Povich. And you wonder why they kill their wives instead of implementing a Kelly strategy for their short-term capital investments?

The rhythm of Africa pulses through the inner cities. Yes it is a rhythm of love, funk, beats, creativity, jazz, and style. But it is also a rhythim of pain and anger, of despair and isolation, of vengeance and iniquity. And so when a few make it out, like Elijah Dukes, that's all they know. You want to know why most of these guys are black? Look in the collective mirror, and you will see why.

[moses millsap]

And you wonder why they kill their wives instead of implementing a Kelly strategy for their short-term capital investments?

[moses millsap]

They don't have perfectly chilled fruit bowls and manicured lawns and creamy white soap dishes like they have where you and I and Willie Bee and RickySteve and Razz and Owned and BigBoyDan and whomever else is from.

My fruit bowls are NOT chilled.

And one of my other businesses forces me to log long hours in the Tenderloin, so don't group me in with millionaires such as yourself, Ganch HG.

[The HG]

Ok no prob Owned, duly noted.

I thought of a few other things it is a rhythm of, actually, so I thought I'd let you all know. It is also a rhythm of pornographic inconsequence and a rhythm of cancerous indignity, just FYI.

[Willie Bee]

My lawn is manicured by the deer, but my fruit bowl is perfectly chilled, as are my martini glasses.

You picked you out one fine new favorite there, HG

[Ira Wilton]

And you wonder why they kill their wives instead of implementing a Kelly strategy for their short-term capital investments?

Funniest quote I have heard at this forum. Hands down.

[bigboydan]

Gee, Why am I not surprised.

Devil Ray charged with violating terms of order

Updated: August 3, 2007, 11:38 AM ET


Elijah Dukes faces the prospect of jail time after being charged Thursday with a single count of violating a domestic violence injunction.

Dukes, optioned to the minor leagues in June by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and placed on the temporary inactive list as he tries to get a handle on his numerous legal problems, faces a maximum punishment of a year in jail if convicted on the misdemeanor.

His estranged wife, NiShea Dukes, obtained a year-long restraining order in June after she said Elijah threatened her. According to a report in the Tampa Tribune on Friday, NiShea Dukes called the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office to complain that he and an unidentified woman made harassing phone calls to her.

Assistant State Attorney Douglas Covington told the Tribune that Elijah Dukes will be issued a subpoena and a court date. Dukes is unlikely to be formally arrested or booked.

Ronald Hanes, Dukes' criminal attorney, did not return the newspaper's call requesting for comment.

The Dukes' are in the process of a messy divorce case which stems from an incident in which NiShea Dukes said her husband threatened her over the phone and text-messaged her a picture of a handgun.

Dukes was suspended for the final month of last season at Triple-A Durham because of a string of on- and off-the-field incidents. He was arrested in January and charged with marijuana possession, but won a spot on the Devil Rays' roster out of spring training and was the club's Opening Day center fielder, homering in his first major league game.

His playing time began to decrease in late May, when NiShea Dukes revealed she sought court protection for herself and the couple's children. In June, published reports detailed a pregnant 18-year-old girl's claim that Dukes is the father of her unborn child.

Dukes, who earns $380,000, will be paid by the Devil Rays while he's on the inactive list. One consideration in the decision to continue paying his major league salary is the player has several young children.

Earlier this summer, Devil Rays principal owner Stuart Sternberg defended his decision to deactivate Dukes rather than release him.

"This will pass, hopefully, with a very positive outcome for him," the owner said at the time. "If it doesn't, our reputation will remain intact as an organization that's trying to help somebody or did what they think they could to help somebody."

[Stumpage]

I'm partial to Daisy Dukes myself, but hey, that's just my personal opinion.....

http://www.pornstargals.com/gals/daisydukes0.php

[THE HITMAN]

Nice, really nice..................and Sternberg is a fool on top of it.

[Chi_archie]

http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/23/Ta...wife__He.shtml


Aside from his super-cool name, this is how he threatened to kill his wife:

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."

If I were going to threaten to kill my wife and kids, I'm not sure how I would put it, but no way could I come up with something that fluid and gripping, and I'm a good writer.

Plus, my man is 22 years old, and he got fi' kids by fo' different women. Although the article says four have taken him to court where they determined "Elijah, you ARE the father", so if four took him to court and he has 2 with his wife, ain't that six kids by fi' different women?

[Arsenal]

Classic post by The HG / Carpe