200 Points for the Most Embarrassing Story

Dad · 10-20-09, 11:54 AM

I got so drunk at my brother's wedding that I shat his pants.

SamsNCharge99 · 10-20-09, 11:55 AM

funneling a beer through a PIGS HEAD...tradition in fraternity...it was last weekend when the Alumni were up.

I had shorts on and took off T-Shirt to not get beer all over me

midway through, in front of everyone, all brothers, alumni, and girls there for sorority, one of the guys pulls down my pants and I was 100% naked.

wasn't too happy at the time

and just for all the stupid ppl, don't even bother making stupid penis jokes

yellowman · 10-20-09, 11:59 AM

Took a hot babe out for a date...nice dinner, drinks, the whole schmear....I had to fart pretty badly during dinner but kept it in obviously...anyhoo, went out to get the car and also to cut the cheese...of course, I sharted all over myself...it was everywhere...I ran to the bathroom to check the damage...I could even see people that I passed do a double take on me since they could smell it. It was terminal - no way out of it. I pondered my options in the can for roughly 5 minutes - ended up running home to change, called the gal to say I got violently sick - she said sorry you feel badly and we hung up. Didn't call her back ever again, felt like there was no point. I would say I had a 60% chance of getting past 2nd base before said sharting incident. Points please.

Dad · 10-20-09, 12:06 PM

My first post was obviously a joke. But this really happened to me. It's not my most embarrassing, but still. I went home with a chick from the bar, she was driving. The windows were cracked already to get rid of the fog on the them, I decided to let loose a harmless fart; which would surely be dissapated quickly by the breeze flowing. I was wrong, it was like roadkill-ass stank shit for a good 5 minutes (wouldn't you know, we caught every light). I was still reeling from shock when I realized, that maybe, I should appologize or something. I was past it, I didn't mention it. She knew it. I knew it. I didn't get laid. So be it.

MrX · 10-20-09, 12:10 PM

Alright. Not surprisingly, we're off to a very scatological start.

Dad · 10-20-09, 12:12 PM

I have many embarrassing stories I could share. Let me know when you are ready for another one.

SamsNCharge99 · 10-20-09, 12:14 PM

surprisingly, I don't have many girl stories that are embarrassing. Some bad ones, but not really embarrassing.

last weekend is the best I could think of.

MrX · 10-20-09, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by Dad

I have many embarrassing stories I could share. Let me know when you are ready for another one.

Knock yourself out, but be careful. Remember worst story loses 50 points.

Dad · 10-20-09, 12:25 PM

This one has nothing to do with shit or farts.

I was just a youngin' in search of the almighty self-induced nut. I had a stack of Playboys and a couple Penthouse carefully borrowed from my older brothers secret floor hideaway (the heat vent). He was away at baseball camp or some shit. So anyway, I had the full enchilada: massive stack of porn, tub of grease, paper towels, and the old Marantz receiver set to ZRock (nothing sets the mood like heavy metal).

I was one of those goofy ****ers who actually read those magazines. I went one after the other knocking one out whenever something interesting caught my eye. I'm pretty sure it was the day I learned all about the clitoris.

Hours pass so here I am laying on my bed surrounded by half open smut mags, multiple soiled paper towels and a half used tub of petroleum jelly laying tipped on its side.......and I fell asleep.

I woke up feeling like a million bucks. Until I discovered the Marantz stereo reciever had been shut off. Mom? Dad? I dunno but that walk downstairs was anything but pleasurable.

sickler · 10-20-09, 02:18 PM

I have some doozies (true ones) but exposing them to the forum isn't worth the 200 points.

wtf · 10-20-09, 02:22 PM

yellowman has to win with that story, omg, how much worse can it get

L2Gunz · 10-20-09, 02:41 PM

Originally posted by SamsNCharge99

surprisingly, I don't have many girl BOY stories that are embarrassing. Some bad ones, but not really embarrassing.

last weekend is the best I could think of.

sammy your most embarrasing moment in life...was when you gave your friend a table dance for his birthday....now stop lying

Sprtbuff · 10-20-09, 02:47 PM

One time I videotaped this girl giviing me a BJ, it was a closeup where you could see my sack and my butthole all in the shot... Well my sister asked to borrow my video camera. She saw there was a tape in the camera and figured she would see what was on the tape. She played the tape with my brother in law and her kids. Well the tape had my kids having a flour food fight with each other and then all of a sudden broke into this girl giving me a BJ... She screamed and couldnt talk to me for more than a month...

buztah · 10-20-09, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by wtf

yellowman has to win with that story, omg, how much worse can it get

yellowman is the strong early fave fo sho, dubya.

MrX · 10-20-09, 02:59 PM

Originally posted by sickler

I have some doozies (true ones) but exposing them to the forum isn't worth the 200 points.

Oh cmon, I was counting on posters being big enough point-whores to embarrass themselves.

acarmelo1 · 10-20-09, 02:59 PM

Originally posted by Sprtbuff

One time I videotaped this girl giviing me a BJ, it was a closeup where you could see my sack and my butthole all in the shot... Well my sister asked to borrow my video camera. She saw there was a tape in the camera and figured she would see what was on the tape. She played the tape with my brother in law and her kids. Well the tape had my kids having a flour food fight with each other and then all of a sudden broke into this girl giving me a BJ... She screamed and couldnt talk to me for more than a month...

How do you convince you GF to do a video tape. Mine does not want to

Sprtbuff · 10-20-09, 03:00 PM

I am sorry, but no way is that more embarrassing than your sister, her husband and their kids popping in a tape and seeing your package getting taken care of... No way!

Sprtbuff · 10-20-09, 03:01 PM

you have to promise no one will ever see it... whoops!

yisman · 10-20-09, 03:06 PM

does it have to be about me?

and you should make people post up 50 points, otherwise I dunno how you're going to collect.

Dad · 10-20-09, 03:09 PM

The video tape story is pretty embarrassing. But it is even more embarrassing when you actually get caught in the act...

I was 16, drunk, and having sex with my Dad's friend's kid in the upstairs room of the house where my Dad hosts an annual party for friends, family, coworkers, neighbors etc. Dad decides to give a tour of the house to his coworkers. They all come into the room, he turns on the light and says, "...And there's my son... and my daughter in law."

It was awful.

P.S. This is also the story of how I lost my virginity.

sickler · 10-20-09, 03:13 PM

Originally posted by MrX

Oh cmon, I was counting on posters being big enough point-whores to embarrass themselves.

You're talking to one of the remaining anti-points posters. We're a dying breed, pizza and sportsbook cash didn't sway us.

Sprtbuff · 10-20-09, 03:16 PM

I was caught in the act! With a audience!! I think if I don't win, its gotta be a tie... Especially when the tape starts with your kids and breaks right into you getting the deed done!!

L2Gunz · 10-20-09, 03:20 PM

Sammy deserves the points watch this..

Dad · 10-20-09, 03:21 PM

Don't let the groveling sway your judgment, MrX.

StraitShooter · 10-20-09, 03:22 PM

some funny reads here

I may contribute a goody after I get lit

MrX · 10-20-09, 03:32 PM

Originally posted by sickler

You're talking to one of the remaining anti-points posters. We're a dying breed, pizza and sportsbook cash didn't sway us.

Damn you, sickler. First you take all of my SBR gear, and now you won't even humiliate yourself publicly. Freakin' Canadians.

MrX · 10-20-09, 03:34 PM

Originally posted by L2Gunz

Sammy deserves the points watch this..

That is a strong submission. I'm not sure if it follows the rules of the contest, but who knows?

MrX · 10-20-09, 03:41 PM

Originally posted by yisman

does it have to be about me?

and you should make people post up 50 points, otherwise I dunno how you're going to collect.

It's supposed to be about you, but if it's really hilarious and brutally embarrassing, I'll entertain stories about someone else.

I'm counting on the general goodness and fair play of the SBR membership. If I get stiffed, no more giveaways, I'll hoard my points and merchandise 'till the bitter end.

SamsNCharge99 · 10-20-09, 03:52 PM

b/c L2 posted it incorrectly

20Four7 · 10-20-09, 03:54 PM

Ok I'll run through one.

I was 17 and living at home. Went out with a female friend (she was 16) and she got locked out of her Mom's condo. Her mom wasn't home and this was well before cell phones so I said to her you can stay at my place. She knew my parents figured this would be ok, as both of us had to work in the morning and I would take her to work. Being a good guy and with my bedroom close to my parents I gave her the bed, grabbed a pillow and slept downstairs on the couch. My alarm gets taking down with me and set. Get up in the morning, put the covers away and pillow, go into my room and wake her up. I ask if she wants to shower and she says no she'll be ok, so I jump into the shower and go back to my room. I get changed for work and we are walking out of the bedroom together when we notice my Mom and Dad standing in the hallway just looking at us. Of course I try to explain I slept on the couch and they don't believe us. It was the most unconfortable cup of coffee I ever had. Finally say, well I don't give a shit what you guys think, tell her to grab her purse we got to get to work. We walk out. For 3 weeks my parents asked me continuously if I thought they were that stupid...... finally I said yes just to get them to shut up about it.

True story. So I never farted or shat myself during this time as I know it's those story's that always win.

jjgold · 10-20-09, 03:56 PM

Nothing big for me, maybe when I use to go to the cock holes in NY where you your cock through a small hole and a hot girl blows you on the other side of the wall. A few times I scraped my cock trying to pull away from her and kind of screamed, and same type of scenario where she blew me and and others because guys right next to me on both sides I pounded wall before them when I was coming, kind of humiliating and embarrassing because everyone knows you came.

Another time getting whipped my milkweeds from two book makers for slow paying them with no clues on (bare ass)

L2Gunz · 10-20-09, 03:58 PM

Originally posted by jjgold

Nothing big for me, maybe when I use to go to the cock holes in NY where you your cock through a small hole and a hot girl blows you on the other side of the wall. A few times I scraped my cock trying to pull away from her and kind of screamed, and same type of scenario where she blew me and and others because guys right next to me on both sides I pounded wall before them when I was coming, kind of humiliating and embarrassing because everyone knows you came.

Another time getting whipped my milkweeds from two book makers for slow paying them with no clues on (bare ass)

JJ...you worked the blowbox or was a customer???

poker_dummy101 · 10-20-09, 03:58 PM

my story would win but its not that believable and brings back horrible memories so ill pass

Sprtbuff · 10-20-09, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by jjgold

Nothing big for me, maybe when I use to go to the cock holes in NY where you your cock through a small hole and a hot girl blows you on the other side of the wall. A few times I scraped my cock trying to pull away from her and kind of screamed, and same type of scenario where she blew me and and others because guys right next to me on both sides I pounded wall before them when I was coming, kind of humiliating and embarrassing because everyone knows you came.

Another time getting whipped my milkweeds from two book makers for slow paying them with no clues on (bare ass)

A hot girl.... just like the ones working phone sex lines... LOL

Whatever works for you... LOL