After all the years I been mentoring you buncha homos most of you taint-rangers still don’t appreciate my unique position both at SBR and in the offshore world. I KNOW stuff, see, not only about shooting angles an pickin winners. I been around the world twice, seen a thousand sheep shit in a half-acre field, I seen buzzards fukk, an I been to no less than two county fairs. I KNOW stuff. None of you squares can name a bigtime bookie in the carib that I aint either worked for, won money from, or got drunk with. I got names, I know where the bodies are buried, I know the deal.
Im sittin in a airport VIP lounge cuz that’s how I roll. True, I aint made nickel one from this gig yet, but I’m flyin first class on somebody elses dime an livin the rock star life while mosta you chumps are eatin top ramen in yer mommas basement an beggin fer points so SBR can order ya a pizza for thanksgiving dinner. Tell me I aint big time. I aint getting the respect I deserve as a icon in this joint so im comin for yer asses this week. Goes without sayin that im a powerful man on the innnerweb, but im even more powerful in real life. Ask anybody, they’ll break it down for ya. This is a battle you don’t wanna fight boys. Only piece of advice I’m given you wankers for free is don’t bring a pointy stick to a gun fight. Down to business:
USF +3.5 Bearcat team been getting much love from the sharps all year long. Got this number early an feel good since its down to about 2 now. Cincy aint faced a defense like this all year long, don’t let them gay gold helmets fool ya da Bulls bring the wood. Prolly wont here them pirate cannons goin off to much in this one, hot muggy nite and too much defense get me a cover. Classic lunch pail game here boys. You faggots are all cryin bout not getting paid when I go 4-0, well this week im given you something to cry about. Guess we’ll get the Supreme Court involved, they don’t rule on hypothetical shit tho so one of you forum lawyer-types call em up Monday.
Va Tech -3 Tyrod, man, that’s a funny fakkin name. betcha his daddys name is Flywheel. Laugh all you want felchers, this kid is the real deal. Hokies are kinda like the Marines of NCAAF, scorin in the air on land an sea. (yeah, that’s called poetic license ladies, read a book). Jacket defense is pourous, an the Hokies are by far the best team theyre gonna play all year. Va Tech is gonna blow a game this year, but it aint gonna be this one. Will have ta give buy that Crazy Lou kid a few lap-dances when I get paid this week, told him my card an he said this pick he hated the least.
NYG +3 Gonna be a whole buncha pundits, mavins an squares jumpin off the N.O. Taints bandwagon this week. Way too much hype way too early, gimme the proven team everytime. Botha these teams can score, and the Taints D has looked good early, but when yer playin against teams that packed their bags before the season even started you prolly should look pretty good. Eli banged up, Brees rested up. Drew gonna have a hard time scrambling around with alla you fantasy-players hangin off his nutsack. Im thinking close game, at worst a back-door cover for the G-Men.
Pats/Titans Over 43.5 Prolly got a square # here but since im such a fakkin philanthropist lets call this one charity. WTF happened ta the Titan defense this year? Absolutely abysmal. Brady aint comfortable yet but this game makes him look two years younger. Loser in this game has 21 so even with a crappy number this is free cheese. Pats are so worried bout their d that they sign Junior Seau? Really? Guess they can afford ta install ramps fer his wheelchair in the locker room they got big dough.
Boys I think they’re boarding the front of the plane so time for some more free drinks while the unwashed masses shlep past towards the back of the plane. Bodog is sponsorin this gig, if yer smart enough to bet dogs you pretty much have ta have a funded account there. They been workin hard again this year to get players paid an that work is payin off. An love Calvin or hate him, it don’t matter he knows how ta throw a party even if he wears lip gloss.
Im sittin in a airport VIP lounge cuz that’s how I roll. True, I aint made nickel one from this gig yet, but I’m flyin first class on somebody elses dime an livin the rock star life while mosta you chumps are eatin top ramen in yer mommas basement an beggin fer points so SBR can order ya a pizza for thanksgiving dinner. Tell me I aint big time. I aint getting the respect I deserve as a icon in this joint so im comin for yer asses this week. Goes without sayin that im a powerful man on the innnerweb, but im even more powerful in real life. Ask anybody, they’ll break it down for ya. This is a battle you don’t wanna fight boys. Only piece of advice I’m given you wankers for free is don’t bring a pointy stick to a gun fight. Down to business:
USF +3.5 Bearcat team been getting much love from the sharps all year long. Got this number early an feel good since its down to about 2 now. Cincy aint faced a defense like this all year long, don’t let them gay gold helmets fool ya da Bulls bring the wood. Prolly wont here them pirate cannons goin off to much in this one, hot muggy nite and too much defense get me a cover. Classic lunch pail game here boys. You faggots are all cryin bout not getting paid when I go 4-0, well this week im given you something to cry about. Guess we’ll get the Supreme Court involved, they don’t rule on hypothetical shit tho so one of you forum lawyer-types call em up Monday.
Va Tech -3 Tyrod, man, that’s a funny fakkin name. betcha his daddys name is Flywheel. Laugh all you want felchers, this kid is the real deal. Hokies are kinda like the Marines of NCAAF, scorin in the air on land an sea. (yeah, that’s called poetic license ladies, read a book). Jacket defense is pourous, an the Hokies are by far the best team theyre gonna play all year. Va Tech is gonna blow a game this year, but it aint gonna be this one. Will have ta give buy that Crazy Lou kid a few lap-dances when I get paid this week, told him my card an he said this pick he hated the least.
NYG +3 Gonna be a whole buncha pundits, mavins an squares jumpin off the N.O. Taints bandwagon this week. Way too much hype way too early, gimme the proven team everytime. Botha these teams can score, and the Taints D has looked good early, but when yer playin against teams that packed their bags before the season even started you prolly should look pretty good. Eli banged up, Brees rested up. Drew gonna have a hard time scrambling around with alla you fantasy-players hangin off his nutsack. Im thinking close game, at worst a back-door cover for the G-Men.
Pats/Titans Over 43.5 Prolly got a square # here but since im such a fakkin philanthropist lets call this one charity. WTF happened ta the Titan defense this year? Absolutely abysmal. Brady aint comfortable yet but this game makes him look two years younger. Loser in this game has 21 so even with a crappy number this is free cheese. Pats are so worried bout their d that they sign Junior Seau? Really? Guess they can afford ta install ramps fer his wheelchair in the locker room they got big dough.
Boys I think they’re boarding the front of the plane so time for some more free drinks while the unwashed masses shlep past towards the back of the plane. Bodog is sponsorin this gig, if yer smart enough to bet dogs you pretty much have ta have a funded account there. They been workin hard again this year to get players paid an that work is payin off. An love Calvin or hate him, it don’t matter he knows how ta throw a party even if he wears lip gloss.
but of course county fairs and seeing that many sheep shit in such a small area breeds mystery.
