The nephew wanted to go to a particular Chuck E. Cheese's in Michigan so being the good Unca Buzzy that I am I indulged him. I walked in and they stamp our hands. O.K. I noticed a food bar and game section. The sister was busy babysitting my nephew while I took advantage of this unique opportunity to kick some AMERICAN AZZ! 
First there was whack-a-mole. I challenged this stuck up little porker and he was simply no match. My training in the gym more than paid off as my score was almost twice his. Little kok phuck. What a whiner! His mom was a bit miffed at me for screaming "gotcha bitch!" each time I clubbed one of those little critters. Guess she believes in sheltering her child. Stupid Michigan Redneck.
Then there was a basketball free throw contest with this lil black kid. Lemme just say I thought Blacks were spoztah be good at hoops. I OWNED THAT BITCH! It was DOM-I-PHUCKING-NATION all Goddamn day long! I was makin' one kush after another and slappin' that lil phux attempts at a basket outta the air left n phucken right! Sickler, you woulda been so proud of me. Damn! I chimped out a lil bit with a few "thaz what I'm talkin' bout!" chants and even threw in a few gang signs and the steps I learned from Coach's videos. I was flyin'! Felt good. Deuce, you Michiganders are simply no match for Buzzy, baby! Right here! Kokphucker!
Wrapped up the activities with a game where you punch these little ducks onto their azz as they go by. Little gal was all smug and claimed to be best at it. I put that kunt right in her place, knocking over 10 ducks to her pathetic 6. Good God I was on the phucken ball, Willay! Talk about intimidation! I barked at that lil bitch till she went cryin' to her embarrassed dad. Kicked his kid's phucken azz in front of everybody! Took all her lil tickets too. What a phucking sucker!
I just want to footnote this by sayin' Americans have no concept of what good food is apparently. The salad bar was dreadful. Iceberg phucken lettuce and canned beets! JEEEEEEESUS CHRIST! The pizza... come on, people! This is not real pizza! Try an Italian restaurant in Toronto. No phucken comparison, Ricky.
Next I went to this Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs flick while my nephew n sis went to Sears to buy some clothes. Hadda kill some time. Goddamn these American phuckers are ignint! Even the Asian 4-eyed Chinks! Pico, perhaps you can explain, but they were all stupid in that theatre -- from Honky to Chink. Unreal! Am I really spostah believe that it can rain phucken cheeseburgers and that spaghetti twisters can come tearing through a town? I mean COME THE PHUCK ON, people!
I kept tryna explain to the American family sitting right in front of me that the plot was simply not plausible. The eighth time I screamed out "bull-phucken-shit!" one of those lil kok boy ushers asked me to leave. Normally I woulda broken that kokphuck in half but I had had more than enough of that nonsense. I did make a pit stop in the washroom though and pissed all over goddamn everything just to get even. Those PHUCKERZ!
I am not at all impressed with these American kids to say the least. While Obama is busy ignoring my brilliant healthcare solution he had better start comin' up with a total overall to the education system as it clearly ain't workin' worth jack phucken shit!
What a day! What'd I miss here?
First there was whack-a-mole. I challenged this stuck up little porker and he was simply no match. My training in the gym more than paid off as my score was almost twice his. Little kok phuck. What a whiner! His mom was a bit miffed at me for screaming "gotcha bitch!" each time I clubbed one of those little critters. Guess she believes in sheltering her child. Stupid Michigan Redneck.
Then there was a basketball free throw contest with this lil black kid. Lemme just say I thought Blacks were spoztah be good at hoops. I OWNED THAT BITCH!
It was DOM-I-PHUCKING-NATION all Goddamn day long! I was makin' one kush after another and slappin' that lil phux attempts at a basket outta the air left n phucken right! Sickler, you woulda been so proud of me. Damn! I chimped out a lil bit with a few "thaz what I'm talkin' bout!" chants and even threw in a few gang signs and the steps I learned from Coach's videos. I was flyin'! Felt good. Deuce, you Michiganders are simply no match for Buzzy, baby! Right here! Kokphucker! Wrapped up the activities with a game where you punch these little ducks onto their azz as they go by. Little gal was all smug and claimed to be best at it. I put that kunt right in her place, knocking over 10 ducks to her pathetic 6. Good God I was on the phucken ball, Willay! Talk about intimidation! I barked at that lil bitch till she went cryin' to her embarrassed dad. Kicked his kid's phucken azz in front of everybody! Took all her lil tickets too. What a phucking sucker!
I just want to footnote this by sayin' Americans have no concept of what good food is apparently. The salad bar was dreadful. Iceberg phucken lettuce and canned beets! JEEEEEEESUS CHRIST! The pizza... come on, people! This is not real pizza! Try an Italian restaurant in Toronto. No phucken comparison, Ricky.
Next I went to this Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs flick while my nephew n sis went to Sears to buy some clothes. Hadda kill some time. Goddamn these American phuckers are ignint! Even the Asian 4-eyed Chinks! Pico, perhaps you can explain, but they were all stupid in that theatre -- from Honky to Chink. Unreal! Am I really spostah believe that it can rain phucken cheeseburgers and that spaghetti twisters can come tearing through a town? I mean COME THE PHUCK ON, people!
I kept tryna explain to the American family sitting right in front of me that the plot was simply not plausible. The eighth time I screamed out "bull-phucken-shit!" one of those lil kok boy ushers asked me to leave. Normally I woulda broken that kokphuck in half but I had had more than enough of that nonsense. I did make a pit stop in the washroom though and pissed all over goddamn everything just to get even. Those PHUCKERZ! I am not at all impressed with these American kids to say the least. While Obama is busy ignoring my brilliant healthcare solution he had better start comin' up with a total overall to the education system as it clearly ain't workin' worth jack phucken shit!
What a day! What'd I miss here?
