Bread vs. Robyn vs. Filthy Penny - WEEK 5
It’s Week 5 of the NFL and it is time to check in on my diabolical experiment: Bread vs. Robyn vs. Filthy Penny football picks. The current standings only reflect what many already felt – that Robyn is a far superior capper than I. She has posted the best record in every one of the three weeks that we have played, and earned 150 SBR points from me along the way.
My record isn’t terrible, as I’m keeping my head above water. I’ve just run into a football force known as the SS Robyn, and I need to regroup to avoid any further embarrassment.
Then there is Filthy Penny, who has performed almost as poorly as she smells. Her dismal showing has denied SBR posters SSLP, InTheHole, Lakerboy, Pat Venditto, wtf and Pags11 from reaping any benefits. It will take a miracle turnaround for Pavyracer and Pat Venditto to have any hope at the end of year prize of 500 SBR points.
Season
Robyn 29-16 64%
Bread 24-21 53%
Filth Penny 19-26 42%
For this week, I have chosen Samsncharge, and Robyn has selected Daggerkobe as the Filthy Penny recipients. Best of luck to them, as they will need all the help that they can get. Now on to the picks.
My record isn’t terrible, as I’m keeping my head above water. I’ve just run into a football force known as the SS Robyn, and I need to regroup to avoid any further embarrassment.
Then there is Filthy Penny, who has performed almost as poorly as she smells. Her dismal showing has denied SBR posters SSLP, InTheHole, Lakerboy, Pat Venditto, wtf and Pags11 from reaping any benefits. It will take a miracle turnaround for Pavyracer and Pat Venditto to have any hope at the end of year prize of 500 SBR points.
Season
Robyn 29-16 64%
Bread 24-21 53%
Filth Penny 19-26 42%
For this week, I have chosen Samsncharge, and Robyn has selected Daggerkobe as the Filthy Penny recipients. Best of luck to them, as they will need all the help that they can get. Now on to the picks.
Bread is sad
Minnesota (-10) @ St. Louis
Bread: St. Louis – Looking for a huge letdown game for the men in purple after last week’s big win over Green Bay.
Robyn: Minnesota - Could STL possibly go 0-5 this week? Yep. With the momentum from last weeks MNF victory, Farve and the Vikings are sure to secure their fifth straight win, and win big.
Filthy Penny: St. Louis
Dallas (-9) @ KC
Bread: Dallas – Philly and NYG were both giving nine to KC the past two weeks, and both covered. Is there any reason that yet another NFC East team couldn’t beat these sad sacks by double digits? Probably not.
Robyn: KC - Dallas will win the game but with the home field advantage, KC with put up a fight and will cover.
Filthy Penny: Dallas
Washington @ Carolina (-4)
Bread: Washington – I hate everything about this matchup, and just taking the points.
Robyn: Carolina - Two not–so-great teams. I am going with Carolina -4. Why? Because a panther could easily eat an Indian.
Filthy Penny: Washington – Abe Lincoln, represent!!
Tampa Bay @ Philadelphia (-15)
Bread: Philadelphia – I pulled a cover on the Yucs last week. I won’t be messing with them again as the Eagles could win by over 30!
Robyn: Tampa Bay - What the hell happened to the 2002 Super Bowl champions? I am almost embarrassed to admit on the internets that I am from the Tampa Bay area. Although Philly is favored to win by more than two touchdowns, I am going for the underdog here and say that the Bucs will cover. I may regret that Sunday.
Filthy Penny: Tampa Bay
Oakland @ New York Giants (-14.5)
Bread: Oakland – How many simply horrid teams does the NFL have this year? Four? Five? Perhaps we could liquidate their best players and make one average team? Call me crazy, but I’m taking the Raiders. I think they might have something up their sleeve and only lose by 13.
Robyn: NYG - With a quarterback who wears the fur of dead animals and has a name like JaMarcus, you are only two letters away from being completely thug. I am going with the Giants this week. I thought this was McFadden’s year, but I have yet to be impressed.
Filthy Penny: NYG
Bread: St. Louis – Looking for a huge letdown game for the men in purple after last week’s big win over Green Bay.
Robyn: Minnesota - Could STL possibly go 0-5 this week? Yep. With the momentum from last weeks MNF victory, Farve and the Vikings are sure to secure their fifth straight win, and win big.
Filthy Penny: St. Louis
Dallas (-9) @ KC
Bread: Dallas – Philly and NYG were both giving nine to KC the past two weeks, and both covered. Is there any reason that yet another NFC East team couldn’t beat these sad sacks by double digits? Probably not.
Robyn: KC - Dallas will win the game but with the home field advantage, KC with put up a fight and will cover.
Filthy Penny: Dallas
Washington @ Carolina (-4)
Bread: Washington – I hate everything about this matchup, and just taking the points.
Robyn: Carolina - Two not–so-great teams. I am going with Carolina -4. Why? Because a panther could easily eat an Indian.
Filthy Penny: Washington – Abe Lincoln, represent!!
Tampa Bay @ Philadelphia (-15)
Bread: Philadelphia – I pulled a cover on the Yucs last week. I won’t be messing with them again as the Eagles could win by over 30!
Robyn: Tampa Bay - What the hell happened to the 2002 Super Bowl champions? I am almost embarrassed to admit on the internets that I am from the Tampa Bay area. Although Philly is favored to win by more than two touchdowns, I am going for the underdog here and say that the Bucs will cover. I may regret that Sunday.
Filthy Penny: Tampa Bay
Oakland @ New York Giants (-14.5)
Bread: Oakland – How many simply horrid teams does the NFL have this year? Four? Five? Perhaps we could liquidate their best players and make one average team? Call me crazy, but I’m taking the Raiders. I think they might have something up their sleeve and only lose by 13.
Robyn: NYG - With a quarterback who wears the fur of dead animals and has a name like JaMarcus, you are only two letters away from being completely thug. I am going with the Giants this week. I thought this was McFadden’s year, but I have yet to be impressed.
Filthy Penny: NYG
Duh-Marcus Russell
Cleveland @ Buffalo (-6)
Bread: Buffalo – Expect some new TD celebrations from T.O. in this game.
Robyn: Cleveland - I am going with Cleveland to closely trail Buffalo and cover this week.
Filthy Penny: Buffalo – If they were the Cleveland Coppers, instead of the Cleveland Browns, I would’ve taken them.
Cincinnati @ Baltimore (-9)
Bread: Cincinnati – Baltimore can’t continue to put up these amazing offensive numbers. Can they? Nahhhhh.
Robyn: Baltimore - I think this game will be close. I would go with Baltimore if you can find them less than -9, otherwise, go for Cincy.
Filthy Penny: Cincinnati
Pittsburgh (-10.5) @ Detroit
Bread: Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh should build off last week’s important win over San Diego by throttling the NFL’s poster child for physical abuse.
Robyn: Pittsburgh - Poor, poor Detroit. They always give me false hope in the first half and completely choke in the second half of the game. After a lengthy campaign by the Lion’s fans, Millen was fired last year. I wonder who they’ll blame the losing season on this year. Detroit will not cover.
Filthy Penny: Detroit
Atlanta @ San Francisco (-2.5)
Bread: Atlanta – This one is tough for me. Two teams I have been very high on all season long. They are a combined 6-1 ATS, and are alright in my book. For the sake of the contest, I will go with the Falcons to pull out a tough road victory.
Robyn: I am going with ATL because Joey Harrington will always love dogs…and pretty piano songs.
Filthy Penny: Atlanta
New England (-3) @ Denver
Bread: New England – There is no way, zero chance, not a sliver of hope that a Kyle Orton quarterbacked team will go 5-0 on the season and ATS. No-way-in-hell.
Robyn: New England - I think Brady is back in his groove. No more Dexter type sleepless nights, cooing his colicky son to sleep with talk of conquering unknown quantities of supermodels. Denver is in trouble this week.
Filthy Penny: New England – TOM BRADY IS HOT!
Houston @ Arizona (-6)
Bread: Houston – Arizona stinks. Houston could even win this game.
Robyn: Arizona - Perhaps it is the year of the old balls, but I think AZ wins and covers.
Filthy Penny: Arizona
Jacksonville @ Seattle (-1)
Bread: Seattle – I don’t care who the quarterback for Seattle is – Matt Hasselbeck, Seneca Wallace, Bill Gates – they should still be able to handle a subpar Jaguars team.
Robyn: Jacksonville - – I think the threat of selling the team has motivated Jax to start winning some games. If only it would motivate the fans to purchase tickets. I am going with Jax +1.
Filthy Penny: Jacksonville
Indianapolis (-3.5) @ Tennessee
Bread: Indianapolis – Only bet against Peyton Manning and the Colts this year if you enjoy donating your money. The gigantic mellon’d one is on a tear this year.
Robyn: Indianapolis - – With Indy at only -3.5, I am definitely going with ‘Big Head’ and his Colts to win and cover this week.
Filthy Penny: Indianapolis
New York Jets (-1) @ Miami
Bread: Jets – This might just be the easiest play on the board.
Robyn: Jets - Why is the spread only -1? Is this a trick? Do they know something we don’t? Anyway, I am going with the Jets -1. Holler.
Filthy Penny: Jets
It looks like the contest will be over after the 4 PM games this week, as Sunday and Monday night’s plays are identical. Please Lord, give me a win. Just one week.
Bread: Buffalo – Expect some new TD celebrations from T.O. in this game.
Robyn: Cleveland - I am going with Cleveland to closely trail Buffalo and cover this week.
Filthy Penny: Buffalo – If they were the Cleveland Coppers, instead of the Cleveland Browns, I would’ve taken them.
Cincinnati @ Baltimore (-9)
Bread: Cincinnati – Baltimore can’t continue to put up these amazing offensive numbers. Can they? Nahhhhh.
Robyn: Baltimore - I think this game will be close. I would go with Baltimore if you can find them less than -9, otherwise, go for Cincy.
Filthy Penny: Cincinnati
Pittsburgh (-10.5) @ Detroit
Bread: Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh should build off last week’s important win over San Diego by throttling the NFL’s poster child for physical abuse.
Robyn: Pittsburgh - Poor, poor Detroit. They always give me false hope in the first half and completely choke in the second half of the game. After a lengthy campaign by the Lion’s fans, Millen was fired last year. I wonder who they’ll blame the losing season on this year. Detroit will not cover.
Filthy Penny: Detroit
Atlanta @ San Francisco (-2.5)
Bread: Atlanta – This one is tough for me. Two teams I have been very high on all season long. They are a combined 6-1 ATS, and are alright in my book. For the sake of the contest, I will go with the Falcons to pull out a tough road victory.
Robyn: I am going with ATL because Joey Harrington will always love dogs…and pretty piano songs.
Filthy Penny: Atlanta
New England (-3) @ Denver
Bread: New England – There is no way, zero chance, not a sliver of hope that a Kyle Orton quarterbacked team will go 5-0 on the season and ATS. No-way-in-hell.
Robyn: New England - I think Brady is back in his groove. No more Dexter type sleepless nights, cooing his colicky son to sleep with talk of conquering unknown quantities of supermodels. Denver is in trouble this week.
Filthy Penny: New England – TOM BRADY IS HOT!
Houston @ Arizona (-6)
Bread: Houston – Arizona stinks. Houston could even win this game.
Robyn: Arizona - Perhaps it is the year of the old balls, but I think AZ wins and covers.
Filthy Penny: Arizona
Jacksonville @ Seattle (-1)
Bread: Seattle – I don’t care who the quarterback for Seattle is – Matt Hasselbeck, Seneca Wallace, Bill Gates – they should still be able to handle a subpar Jaguars team.
Robyn: Jacksonville - – I think the threat of selling the team has motivated Jax to start winning some games. If only it would motivate the fans to purchase tickets. I am going with Jax +1.
Filthy Penny: Jacksonville
Indianapolis (-3.5) @ Tennessee
Bread: Indianapolis – Only bet against Peyton Manning and the Colts this year if you enjoy donating your money. The gigantic mellon’d one is on a tear this year.
Robyn: Indianapolis - – With Indy at only -3.5, I am definitely going with ‘Big Head’ and his Colts to win and cover this week.
Filthy Penny: Indianapolis
New York Jets (-1) @ Miami
Bread: Jets – This might just be the easiest play on the board.
Robyn: Jets - Why is the spread only -1? Is this a trick? Do they know something we don’t? Anyway, I am going with the Jets -1. Holler.
Filthy Penny: Jets
It looks like the contest will be over after the 4 PM games this week, as Sunday and Monday night’s plays are identical. Please Lord, give me a win. Just one week.
Filthy Penny is sad
nina
