Hot damn boys im a one-man wreckin crew! Got some good fackin numbers last week but didn’t cash a ticket AGAIN. the books are flat crushin players, square and sharp so I don’t feel to bad about the whole thing. drought ends this week: daddy needs a little foldin money. I got a fat bar tab to settle an the dude that takes care of my glaucoma medicine prescription aint takin my humana card anymore. an that don’t even take into account all the poor girls I cant put thru college this month at the jiggly room.
Aint too much jumped out at me this week, course that prolly means I’m gold since I friggin loved my card the last two weeks strait an blew a big fat donut. plenty o’chalk out there fer you girls to eat but I aint got the balls ta pull the trigger on none of them big #s. good news is that only about 4 games Saturday an 2 games Sunday look like I need ta watch them. that means I can get caught up on my bible verses an yoga practice.
DSI is sponsorin my gig this week, they aint a perfect fit for some of you cheapskates but a dependable out that aint gonna break it off in yer ass. i reckon alla the real gamblers that have been offshore longer than 15 minutes already played thru this shop. i give ‘em the Prick stamp of approval so don’t be shy. Since nobody gets free dough this week go ahead an throw ‘em a bone.
Coupla big games this week that almost got my action but didn’t quite make the cut: UCLA +6, Terps +13 ½, Bama – 17, Ravens +1, Saints – 6 ½. My contract clearly states that I gotta impart some wisdom to you losers every week so I reckon we just checked that little box and can move on to the real deal.
Tulane + 6 ½ Green Wave runs. And runs. And runs some more. Them poor little army men get worn out in a slugfest. This is a low-scoring affair, prolly not pretty to watch but points will be few an I’ll take damn near a TD on the road. neither of these teams got much to look forward to, cept mebbe for them army dudes hopin to graduate an shoot up some terrorists someplace.
Penn St – 6.5 got jammed up on this deal, picked ‘em as my best bet at -6.5. hit the submit button an what a fackin surprise line changed an im stuck like chuck. Yeah, sure, number showin is 7 but if I get stuck on a push there that costs me 5k you fukkers can all lick my nuts im keepin the loot. Prolly don’t much matter tho, that ol’ bastage Paterno will have his kids ready to play after that whuppin last week.
Fish +2 miami flat blows but then so do the bills. Buffalo aren’t 2 better than anybody in the NFL, especially not on the road. guess we’ll see what that kid from Mich. has, cant be much worse than that pennington girl. homedogs in the NFL are usually fair picks, but then they aint usually as sorry as these Dolphins. seeing this in print kinda has me scratchin my head as to why the hell I picked this game?
Raiders +9 ½ which Texan team shows up for this game? we know which raiders team its gonna be an they pretty much stink. Question is do they blow two scores worse than even the best Houston team? I think not, little early in the season for a team to quit, even a team as bad as Oakland. Mebbe they should get that fat-ass coach on the field to bust a coupla jaws like mebbe shaubs?
So that’s pretty much all I got this week bitches. Cant say as im overly confident but pretty sure it don’t much matter either way. Step up and take your shots, but for the love of all that is holy if ya feel a need to comment DO NOT BORE ME. i don’t mind laughin and such but the worst anybody can do is step inta the spotlite and pop-foul behind the plate. Don’t be that guy.
Aint too much jumped out at me this week, course that prolly means I’m gold since I friggin loved my card the last two weeks strait an blew a big fat donut. plenty o’chalk out there fer you girls to eat but I aint got the balls ta pull the trigger on none of them big #s. good news is that only about 4 games Saturday an 2 games Sunday look like I need ta watch them. that means I can get caught up on my bible verses an yoga practice.
DSI is sponsorin my gig this week, they aint a perfect fit for some of you cheapskates but a dependable out that aint gonna break it off in yer ass. i reckon alla the real gamblers that have been offshore longer than 15 minutes already played thru this shop. i give ‘em the Prick stamp of approval so don’t be shy. Since nobody gets free dough this week go ahead an throw ‘em a bone.
Coupla big games this week that almost got my action but didn’t quite make the cut: UCLA +6, Terps +13 ½, Bama – 17, Ravens +1, Saints – 6 ½. My contract clearly states that I gotta impart some wisdom to you losers every week so I reckon we just checked that little box and can move on to the real deal.
Tulane + 6 ½ Green Wave runs. And runs. And runs some more. Them poor little army men get worn out in a slugfest. This is a low-scoring affair, prolly not pretty to watch but points will be few an I’ll take damn near a TD on the road. neither of these teams got much to look forward to, cept mebbe for them army dudes hopin to graduate an shoot up some terrorists someplace.
Penn St – 6.5 got jammed up on this deal, picked ‘em as my best bet at -6.5. hit the submit button an what a fackin surprise line changed an im stuck like chuck. Yeah, sure, number showin is 7 but if I get stuck on a push there that costs me 5k you fukkers can all lick my nuts im keepin the loot. Prolly don’t much matter tho, that ol’ bastage Paterno will have his kids ready to play after that whuppin last week.
Fish +2 miami flat blows but then so do the bills. Buffalo aren’t 2 better than anybody in the NFL, especially not on the road. guess we’ll see what that kid from Mich. has, cant be much worse than that pennington girl. homedogs in the NFL are usually fair picks, but then they aint usually as sorry as these Dolphins. seeing this in print kinda has me scratchin my head as to why the hell I picked this game?
Raiders +9 ½ which Texan team shows up for this game? we know which raiders team its gonna be an they pretty much stink. Question is do they blow two scores worse than even the best Houston team? I think not, little early in the season for a team to quit, even a team as bad as Oakland. Mebbe they should get that fat-ass coach on the field to bust a coupla jaws like mebbe shaubs?
So that’s pretty much all I got this week bitches. Cant say as im overly confident but pretty sure it don’t much matter either way. Step up and take your shots, but for the love of all that is holy if ya feel a need to comment DO NOT BORE ME. i don’t mind laughin and such but the worst anybody can do is step inta the spotlite and pop-foul behind the plate. Don’t be that guy.
