The Mercy Flirt -- helping degens get some since 1932
The mercy flirt is an all but guaranteed path to some hot action in the sack. It takes a little bit of planning and discipline but it is well worth the pay off.
Go to a crowded mall or market. I prefer markets but this works just as well in a mall. Case the entire joint. You are on the lookout for situations that bring fat ugly dog bitches n hot chicks together. There is a cupcake vendor in my local market that fits this scenario quite nicely. There's always a hot lil tight assed chick dealing cupcakes to these phucken rollie-pollies who haven't gotten laid in years (if ever). Perfect!
Once you spot the ideal scenario, rush to a washroom and bang out a few sets of 50 pushups to really get a good pump in your pecs and to bring out the vascularity in your arms. Wash off all deodorant at the sink and cake on some baby powder. You want to smell like an intoxicating aroma of clean babies and manly musk because chicks are attracted to motherhood (even the feminists) and your unique smell will greatly assist you in your quest. Be sure to wear a tight t-shirt and wash your phucking hands (pimike, onthewhat, plommer)!
Return to the scene (cupcake vendor in my case -- Baskin Robbins would work well for the Americans out there). Focus! Now you must showcase your acting skills.
Walk up to the absolute fattest tub of lard at the customer side of the counter and start shamelessly flirting in front of the hot vendor chick. DO NOT SNEAK A PEAK AT THE HOTTIE!
Be consumed with the pig. What you say does not matter as she will be quite flattered and proud to have your unexpected attention and dreamy stare. Tell her anything! Maybe you just play the ole "I met you at a party somewhere, didn't I?" routine or claim you know her from high school. Just lock onto her and pretend like you want her -- you must have her.
This behavior will at first only mildly perplex the hot chick and she will try to casually steal away your attention (she's used to being hit on all day long after all). Don't give in. You will give her your full attention later in the day -- trust me.
Insist on getting the hippo's number and keep up the charm. If you can get her to start touching your arm while she chats with you this will add fuel to the fire of jealousy within the hottie. Get the number and walk away. Throw that shit away the moment you are fully removed from the scene. You don't want to leave it in your wallet and accidentally call her later, thinkin' it's the number of some hot chick. Fat gals can sound sweet on the phone and the last thing you want is to plan out a date at a good restaurant, expecting to meet up with a fine piece of grade A tang, only to see ole triple chins wobble through the phucken door.
Return to the vendor in 12 minutes. Say that you wanted to buy some cupcakes (ice cream, etc., whatever) earlier but forgot. The hot chick will be so uncontrollably jealous now that she will have to try and give you her number to reassure herself. Hot chicks are shallow. Exploit this shallow moment of vulnerability! Once you have the number, do not push your luck by waiting too long to call. Call that night while this incident is still on her brain.
Boys, I have successfully executed this time tested strategy for getting hotties in the sack for years and already pulled it off twice this week. It works ALMOST every time. It will not work on Asian gals for reasons unknown to me -- unless the Asian gal is the fat porker (a rare breed indeed). If the vendor is a hot Asian gal, abort immediately and continue to look for the proper setup.
Do exactly as instructed herein and I can almost guarantee a hot gal will be gagin' on your rod later tonight! Go forth with confidence, men. 
Go to a crowded mall or market. I prefer markets but this works just as well in a mall. Case the entire joint. You are on the lookout for situations that bring fat ugly dog bitches n hot chicks together. There is a cupcake vendor in my local market that fits this scenario quite nicely. There's always a hot lil tight assed chick dealing cupcakes to these phucken rollie-pollies who haven't gotten laid in years (if ever). Perfect!
Once you spot the ideal scenario, rush to a washroom and bang out a few sets of 50 pushups to really get a good pump in your pecs and to bring out the vascularity in your arms. Wash off all deodorant at the sink and cake on some baby powder. You want to smell like an intoxicating aroma of clean babies and manly musk because chicks are attracted to motherhood (even the feminists) and your unique smell will greatly assist you in your quest. Be sure to wear a tight t-shirt and wash your phucking hands (pimike, onthewhat, plommer)!
Return to the scene (cupcake vendor in my case -- Baskin Robbins would work well for the Americans out there). Focus! Now you must showcase your acting skills.
Walk up to the absolute fattest tub of lard at the customer side of the counter and start shamelessly flirting in front of the hot vendor chick. DO NOT SNEAK A PEAK AT THE HOTTIE!
Be consumed with the pig. What you say does not matter as she will be quite flattered and proud to have your unexpected attention and dreamy stare. Tell her anything! Maybe you just play the ole "I met you at a party somewhere, didn't I?" routine or claim you know her from high school. Just lock onto her and pretend like you want her -- you must have her. This behavior will at first only mildly perplex the hot chick and she will try to casually steal away your attention (she's used to being hit on all day long after all). Don't give in. You will give her your full attention later in the day -- trust me.
Insist on getting the hippo's number and keep up the charm. If you can get her to start touching your arm while she chats with you this will add fuel to the fire of jealousy within the hottie. Get the number and walk away. Throw that shit away the moment you are fully removed from the scene. You don't want to leave it in your wallet and accidentally call her later, thinkin' it's the number of some hot chick. Fat gals can sound sweet on the phone and the last thing you want is to plan out a date at a good restaurant, expecting to meet up with a fine piece of grade A tang, only to see ole triple chins wobble through the phucken door.
Return to the vendor in 12 minutes. Say that you wanted to buy some cupcakes (ice cream, etc., whatever) earlier but forgot. The hot chick will be so uncontrollably jealous now that she will have to try and give you her number to reassure herself. Hot chicks are shallow. Exploit this shallow moment of vulnerability! Once you have the number, do not push your luck by waiting too long to call. Call that night while this incident is still on her brain.
Boys, I have successfully executed this time tested strategy for getting hotties in the sack for years and already pulled it off twice this week. It works ALMOST every time. It will not work on Asian gals for reasons unknown to me -- unless the Asian gal is the fat porker (a rare breed indeed). If the vendor is a hot Asian gal, abort immediately and continue to look for the proper setup.
Do exactly as instructed herein and I can almost guarantee a hot gal will be gagin' on your rod later tonight!
Go forth with confidence, men.
thanks!. I always do wash my hands.
I am not an Asian tang virgin by any means. I've just not scored with American or Canadian Asian chicks. Authentic Asian broads phucken love me.
