Dammit ladies, looks like most everyone single one a yer moochin asses got yer little paw down in my pocket last week. Talk about a fine display o’handicapping efficiency! Funny stuff tho cause alla the bookmakers I talked to said they fackin CRUSHED the players again this weekend. So yuk it up an enjoy yer $13.25, theres a big ol pile of dough out there an this week I gotta keep it all.
Some of you peckerheads are wonderin why I got this gig an I’m gonna break it down for ya. See, I aint just a pro capper an a internet celebreity an a handsome an powerful man, I hobnob with a buncha the big wheels that you shmoes send yer 200 clams to every September an plan on getting rich. I forgot more bout the offshore world than mosta you squares will ever know. One more thing, see, is I know all kinds jeopardy-type shit an I’m gonna take this opportunity to increase yer knowledge.
The subject of todays lecture is the cultural differences between you gringos an us ticos. Bueno Dia de la Independencia to all my Tico pals. See im getting paid quadruple time on accounta the fact that all these little banana republics down here decided that their 4th of July should be today. I aint real sure they got any kinda historical reason for that, but they got a statue of a dude named Santamaria at the aeropuerto who supposedly threw a torch at a house fulla drunk ass cracker pirates that said they owned costa rica. For real , there was like 6 gringos from the ol confederacy that took over the whole country, an this kid burned ‘em out. But the sculptor sent the Sanatmaria statue to Guatemala or some farggin place an we got theirs. Only it don’t matter cause there dude prolly looked the same an had a torch. Pura vida girls, get a passport an get outta yer zip code, or at least outta yer crappy little apartment.
Boise St -7 Some pretty good bookies hung this number around 12 early an it got bet down ta 8 in two hours. Chasin steam? First trip away from that crazy blue field fer these Broncos, but big friggin deal. This game aint been close in years, an beatin a terrible Whiskey team on the road don’t make Fresno State the right side. Pretty sure the # is gonna drift back up to 8ish so im good layin 7. My spidey-sense tells me final score BSU 24-14
Connecticut +10 Fer the record I love this Baylor program an wish ‘em the best but they aint 10 better than anybody. An if they was 10 better than somebody it wouldn’t be UConn. Botha these teams are on min-rolls ATS an the Bears hadda week off ta celebrate their huge road winn at wake in true Waco style, but prolly nobody joined the Branch Davidians an im pretty sure the Feds didn’t torch the football dorm.
NYGiants +3 Real basic system play here boys, get yer pencils out an take notes: NFL Best Dog. Nuff said, cash this one. Cowgirls D got a whole buncha question marks, an there O looked adequate against the toofless Bucs. BUT this Giant D will make Romo cry and I predict they win this one outright, screw the points get on the ML.
Indy Under 42 You snively little whoores whined about totals for 4 years so since we caved an added ‘em I figgered I may as well pull one offa the board. Still pretty much blows cuz the NCAA totals don’t post til at least 5 hours AFTER I gotta pick, but whoever said life was fair is fulla shit. The Fins still tryin ta run that BS “Wildcat” scam? Worked fer about 5 minutes an everyone copied it. Yawn, if that’s yer secret weapon then mebbe NASCAR is a better fit. This is gonna be a tight game, low scoring, an the only way this gets over the total is OT. Course that’s the reason they call it gambling an not winning. If they called it winning everybody would be doin it.
BTP V Week II starts now. Thanks in advance ta Looselines fer the $5000 I’m stuffin down the fronta my speedo this week. LL is a new sponsor but a rock-solid and Jazz been writin tickets fer 20 years or so. If any a you hookers are real players then ya could do a damnsight worse than playin at Looselines.
Some of you peckerheads are wonderin why I got this gig an I’m gonna break it down for ya. See, I aint just a pro capper an a internet celebreity an a handsome an powerful man, I hobnob with a buncha the big wheels that you shmoes send yer 200 clams to every September an plan on getting rich. I forgot more bout the offshore world than mosta you squares will ever know. One more thing, see, is I know all kinds jeopardy-type shit an I’m gonna take this opportunity to increase yer knowledge.
The subject of todays lecture is the cultural differences between you gringos an us ticos. Bueno Dia de la Independencia to all my Tico pals. See im getting paid quadruple time on accounta the fact that all these little banana republics down here decided that their 4th of July should be today. I aint real sure they got any kinda historical reason for that, but they got a statue of a dude named Santamaria at the aeropuerto who supposedly threw a torch at a house fulla drunk ass cracker pirates that said they owned costa rica. For real , there was like 6 gringos from the ol confederacy that took over the whole country, an this kid burned ‘em out. But the sculptor sent the Sanatmaria statue to Guatemala or some farggin place an we got theirs. Only it don’t matter cause there dude prolly looked the same an had a torch. Pura vida girls, get a passport an get outta yer zip code, or at least outta yer crappy little apartment.
Boise St -7 Some pretty good bookies hung this number around 12 early an it got bet down ta 8 in two hours. Chasin steam? First trip away from that crazy blue field fer these Broncos, but big friggin deal. This game aint been close in years, an beatin a terrible Whiskey team on the road don’t make Fresno State the right side. Pretty sure the # is gonna drift back up to 8ish so im good layin 7. My spidey-sense tells me final score BSU 24-14
Connecticut +10 Fer the record I love this Baylor program an wish ‘em the best but they aint 10 better than anybody. An if they was 10 better than somebody it wouldn’t be UConn. Botha these teams are on min-rolls ATS an the Bears hadda week off ta celebrate their huge road winn at wake in true Waco style, but prolly nobody joined the Branch Davidians an im pretty sure the Feds didn’t torch the football dorm.
NYGiants +3 Real basic system play here boys, get yer pencils out an take notes: NFL Best Dog. Nuff said, cash this one. Cowgirls D got a whole buncha question marks, an there O looked adequate against the toofless Bucs. BUT this Giant D will make Romo cry and I predict they win this one outright, screw the points get on the ML.
Indy Under 42 You snively little whoores whined about totals for 4 years so since we caved an added ‘em I figgered I may as well pull one offa the board. Still pretty much blows cuz the NCAA totals don’t post til at least 5 hours AFTER I gotta pick, but whoever said life was fair is fulla shit. The Fins still tryin ta run that BS “Wildcat” scam? Worked fer about 5 minutes an everyone copied it. Yawn, if that’s yer secret weapon then mebbe NASCAR is a better fit. This is gonna be a tight game, low scoring, an the only way this gets over the total is OT. Course that’s the reason they call it gambling an not winning. If they called it winning everybody would be doin it.
BTP V Week II starts now. Thanks in advance ta Looselines fer the $5000 I’m stuffin down the fronta my speedo this week. LL is a new sponsor but a rock-solid and Jazz been writin tickets fer 20 years or so. If any a you hookers are real players then ya could do a damnsight worse than playin at Looselines.
