If Favre unretires in the woods, does anyone care?
With the SBR Bash right around the corner, I’m having a bit of trouble concentrating on a topic to write about today. The excitement of Vegas, free drinks and meeting up with fellow degenerate nut jobs has left me undecided this evening. Ah wait that’s it - undecided! I’ll write about the most confused, undecided boy who has ever cried wolf in the history of sports – Brett Favre!
Wasn’t it just a few months ago that flip-flopping Favre guaranteed us that he would never play in the NFL again? Or maybe it was weeks. Or even days. I can’t keep up any longer.
At this point I have to wonder if he’s mentally stable. Is this the tenth time that he has retired and unretired? He could end up in the funny farm with DMX in five years and I wouldn’t be even remotely shocked. Favre used to be the ultimate man’s man. He made being a redneck cool again. He was the sort of fella that you’d want to toss the rock around with, join for some icy cold ones, and not even be overly offended if he slept with your wife. You could invite the rugged icon over to help you put up a fence, even though he’d just end up straddling it. Now most of his old admirers categorize him in the same genus of tools as Ryan Leaf. What a sad revelation.
So now Favre is a Viking. I was going to insert a joke about his purple helmet here, but I suppose it’s past time that I actually start discussing the actual football wagering ramifications of this signing.
The Minnesota Vicodins
Although he will turn 40 this season, the saddest of facts for Minnesota is that he is still a step up in quarterback talent from what they had before him. I have always tried to catch any game with Tarvaris Jackson involved for pure fading/comedy value. If you’ve ever been benched in your career for Gus Frerotte, it might be time to get a real job like the rest of us.
Then there is Sage Rosenfels. Sage was the key player in one of my most devastating games ever last year, an early season Houston loss to Indianapolis. Rosenfels got the start due to a Matt Schaub injury. With his team getting three, and up by 17 with four minutes remaining in the game, I was counting my winnings. That’s when Rosenfels went on a one-man fumblerama, not only giving the Colts the victory, but the cover as well. My skin gets clammy even thinking about that guy.
So the good news for Viking’s fans is that Favre is an upgrade. The books pulled down Minnesota’s Future totals on Tuesday to make some adjustments to reflect the signing. It sounds like their odds to win the Super Bowl could drop from +1800 to +1200 at many shops. Their season win totals could be raised from 9 to 9.5 or 10. Quite frankly, I thought the total was way to high to begin with, and even if Favre can bring his team a victory or two more, I still believe that the Under would be a safe play.
Of course the prospect of teaming Favre with high-impact players like Adrian Peterson and Bernard Berrian sounds enticing, but how long until the aging quarterback gets injured? And if by chance he does manage to play all year, surely nobody has forgotten the way that he fizzled at the end of last season, snatching a playoff bid from the hearts of Jet’s fans everywhere. New York finished the year in a 1-4 rut, coinciding with Favre’s 2 TD, 9 INT closing performance. Like there was ever any doubt.
No more of this…for now
I remember another trip to Vegas in late 2005. My biggest Sunday play was the Bears at home giving 6.5 points to Green Bay. Fast forward to late in the 4th quarter and Chicago had only managed to score four field goals, but was holding onto a 12-7 lead. The Packers had possession deep in the 4th quarter and were looking to hurry down the field for the winning touchdown.
That’s when a sudden calmness took me over. Even four years ago, watching a frantic Favre forcing the ball into receivers provided me with an eerie confidence. And wouldn’t you know it, a poorly thrown slant was picked off by my new best friend, Nathan Vasher, for a 45 yd interception return for a TD. Brett Favre hasn’t scared me for quite some time now.
Hopefully Minnesota makes tons of money from jersey sales, because that’s about the most serious impact this signing will probably have. And if the king of wishy-washy has retired again by the time that you read this, I apologize for wasting your time.
.....just give me all your points and shut your fking mouth.
