*Quick stop at Bellagio around noon, hoping to get a bet in and eat lunch at the buffet, which is supposed to be very good. Huge line-up at the Buffet – after waiting 5 minutes, my inner Jack Bauer warns me that there’s no more time! if I’m going to catch sunset at the Canyon. Will have to eat garbage on the way.
*SD +145 & KC EV thrown in a 2-teamer. Pinny closes at +138 and -107, not bad. Both legs lose. I’m just about back to even gambling-wise on this trip.
*Bellagio is a lot more kitsch than I expected. Uppity country-style decoration, very feminine. My Mom would love what they’ve done with the place.
*Lone Asian lady in the high-limit area, $100 slot, not sure how many credits per hand. She presses the Deal button mechanically every 5 seconds, without showing any emotion. Jesus ****.
*Luxor had $1 full-pay Jacks or Better, which I couldn’t play cause someone was hogging the sole machine. MGM took me for $250 at the $5 level, which was too high for me anyway. Now Bellagio requires you to play a minimum of THREE $5 hands simultaneously for the privilege of losing only 0.46% per bet. That’s $75 a hand at max credits. If you’re so inclined, they’ll even let you play 10 hands at a time at the $25 level... yes, yes, $1250 per round. I feel small. I wanna play one hand, but I don't really feel like cashing out a $25 ticket after the machine inevitably deals me garbage, so I leave.
*I don’t much like the Bellagio crowd. Bourgeois ladies walking slowly, playing slowly with their hair, just being slowly bourgeois while their old family fortune slowly works itself up. I feel smaller still and I gotta check in at that place today. I don't wanna leave Mandalay Bay - it feels like home.
*Big traffic at the Hoover Dam on my way to the Canyon. I remember that the sun will set at 7:30 today... but whose 7:30, Nevada's or Arizona's? **** me, probably the latter. Will have to make up for it.
*My crappy Mazda 3 struggles to even go past the 75mph speed limit when it goes uphill, and it goes uphill a lot. With 2:45 to go before sunset, a sign reads “Grand Canyon National Park 220”. My expert guesstimation skills tell me that this is not good. Will have to make up for it.
*Cop! Hit the brakes, car swerves. I’m overlapping both lanes and still doing 90 when I go past him. I’m so toast - his partner will pick me up in about a minute. Wonder if I can use the lack-of-cruise-control-and-unfamiliarity-with-the-imperial-system excuse.
*Flashing lights ahead… SCORE! Radar cop’s partner is busy fining another maniac. Sucker!
*It’s 7 and I’m nowhere near close. I’m hungry. I admit defeat and stop to refuel and grab a Papa Burger combo. Will have to stop at the first Canyon-y bit I see to take photos before dark.
*It’s 7:30. Sun is still well clear of the horizon, looks like God has granted me an extra 30 minutes. Still won’t be enough. No Canyon-y bits at all. It’s all green and pine-y trees… wtf?!? Put that away!!!
*It’s 8 – 19 miles to go. I guess it was Nevada time after all. 30 minutes to go. Inner Jack Bauer is spitting phlegm in my ear. Good God that guy's annoying.
*Line-up at the Park’s entrance. French family on my right is exasperated for the same reason I am. Get out of our way, we have a Sun to catch! Cock****s!
*I take the wrong way and end up in a lodging area for old people and their RVs. **** me.
*No idea where I’m going. After 2-3 minutes, I see cars parked on both sides of the road. Oh, this is good. But still no Canyon-y bits… the hell?!?
*Looking towards north, I see blue bits in between pine-y trees. Has to be it. I quickly park on the side of the road, get my gear out and make a run for it. About 50 yards in, the Canyon suddenly appears, like someone just pulled the drape that was covering a huge painting. A jogger sees my gear and my face and he fully understands what is going on. He is amused by my face.
*I am shocked.
*I have never seen atmospheric haze while looking down at something before. This is surreal, in big part because there is zero wind and zero sound. It feels like someone paused the Canyon. S’okay guys, I’m here, resume playback. Maybe this is a studio. Forget about the Moon landing, I think they faked the Grand Canyon.
*Taking pics takes progressively longer as darkness sets in. Have to focus manually and do 30 second exposures at some point.
*Around 9:30 local time, I realize that it is completely dark. I have no other light source than the nearly full Moon. I hear crickets. I wonder whether there are snakes around here. I am properly terrified. I run to the car.
*I make the trip back in 3:45 hours. Including a stop at the 24hr Walgreens to pick up some photos. I’m a bad bad man.
Pics to come later today, have to pack up for Bellagio. My plan is to lounge by the pool at and read bits of Larry Merchant’s The National Football Lottery. Have to take it easy before meeting with blittydeuce tomorrow.
This is more fun than tiring, which I guess is all that matters.
*SD +145 & KC EV thrown in a 2-teamer. Pinny closes at +138 and -107, not bad. Both legs lose. I’m just about back to even gambling-wise on this trip.
*Bellagio is a lot more kitsch than I expected. Uppity country-style decoration, very feminine. My Mom would love what they’ve done with the place.
*Lone Asian lady in the high-limit area, $100 slot, not sure how many credits per hand. She presses the Deal button mechanically every 5 seconds, without showing any emotion. Jesus ****.
*Luxor had $1 full-pay Jacks or Better, which I couldn’t play cause someone was hogging the sole machine. MGM took me for $250 at the $5 level, which was too high for me anyway. Now Bellagio requires you to play a minimum of THREE $5 hands simultaneously for the privilege of losing only 0.46% per bet. That’s $75 a hand at max credits. If you’re so inclined, they’ll even let you play 10 hands at a time at the $25 level... yes, yes, $1250 per round. I feel small. I wanna play one hand, but I don't really feel like cashing out a $25 ticket after the machine inevitably deals me garbage, so I leave.
*I don’t much like the Bellagio crowd. Bourgeois ladies walking slowly, playing slowly with their hair, just being slowly bourgeois while their old family fortune slowly works itself up. I feel smaller still and I gotta check in at that place today. I don't wanna leave Mandalay Bay - it feels like home.
*Big traffic at the Hoover Dam on my way to the Canyon. I remember that the sun will set at 7:30 today... but whose 7:30, Nevada's or Arizona's? **** me, probably the latter. Will have to make up for it.
*My crappy Mazda 3 struggles to even go past the 75mph speed limit when it goes uphill, and it goes uphill a lot. With 2:45 to go before sunset, a sign reads “Grand Canyon National Park 220”. My expert guesstimation skills tell me that this is not good. Will have to make up for it.
*Cop! Hit the brakes, car swerves. I’m overlapping both lanes and still doing 90 when I go past him. I’m so toast - his partner will pick me up in about a minute. Wonder if I can use the lack-of-cruise-control-and-unfamiliarity-with-the-imperial-system excuse.
*Flashing lights ahead… SCORE! Radar cop’s partner is busy fining another maniac. Sucker!
*It’s 7 and I’m nowhere near close. I’m hungry. I admit defeat and stop to refuel and grab a Papa Burger combo. Will have to stop at the first Canyon-y bit I see to take photos before dark.
*It’s 7:30. Sun is still well clear of the horizon, looks like God has granted me an extra 30 minutes. Still won’t be enough. No Canyon-y bits at all. It’s all green and pine-y trees… wtf?!? Put that away!!!
*It’s 8 – 19 miles to go. I guess it was Nevada time after all. 30 minutes to go. Inner Jack Bauer is spitting phlegm in my ear. Good God that guy's annoying.
*Line-up at the Park’s entrance. French family on my right is exasperated for the same reason I am. Get out of our way, we have a Sun to catch! Cock****s!
*I take the wrong way and end up in a lodging area for old people and their RVs. **** me.
*No idea where I’m going. After 2-3 minutes, I see cars parked on both sides of the road. Oh, this is good. But still no Canyon-y bits… the hell?!?
*Looking towards north, I see blue bits in between pine-y trees. Has to be it. I quickly park on the side of the road, get my gear out and make a run for it. About 50 yards in, the Canyon suddenly appears, like someone just pulled the drape that was covering a huge painting. A jogger sees my gear and my face and he fully understands what is going on. He is amused by my face.
*I am shocked.
*I have never seen atmospheric haze while looking down at something before. This is surreal, in big part because there is zero wind and zero sound. It feels like someone paused the Canyon. S’okay guys, I’m here, resume playback. Maybe this is a studio. Forget about the Moon landing, I think they faked the Grand Canyon.
*Taking pics takes progressively longer as darkness sets in. Have to focus manually and do 30 second exposures at some point.
*Around 9:30 local time, I realize that it is completely dark. I have no other light source than the nearly full Moon. I hear crickets. I wonder whether there are snakes around here. I am properly terrified. I run to the car.
*I make the trip back in 3:45 hours. Including a stop at the 24hr Walgreens to pick up some photos. I’m a bad bad man.
Pics to come later today, have to pack up for Bellagio. My plan is to lounge by the pool at and read bits of Larry Merchant’s The National Football Lottery. Have to take it easy before meeting with blittydeuce tomorrow.
This is more fun than tiring, which I guess is all that matters.
