So I just screwed my tenant out of $300

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  • MainEventOrBust
    SBR Hustler
    • 07-16-09
    • 51

    #1
    So I just screwed my tenant out of $300
    I work at a condo with fairly strict rules. Nothing on balcony allowed except nice furniture, gas BBQ and plants. No satellite dish, etc. It is a classy place and the management does not want degenerates fukking it all up for everyone.

    Anyhow, to make a long story short, one of my tenants has a propane BBQ (not allowed) and a satellite dish. I knocked on his door and told him I've gotten complaints about the stuff he has on his balcony. (I made this part up to get my foot in the door). He says "everything up there is classy, you have nothing to worry about." I insist on taking a look, so I let him through.

    I take one look, and say "no, no, no, we can't have this. No propane BBQs allowed, and no satellite dishes". He argues with me a while and says "it's no big deal, I am careful with my steaks and only cook them medium rare anyways." (Like the building will burn any slower when that sh*t explodes just because the meat is a little rare). He also says stuff like "come on, you must be a sports fan, give me a break, I like to watch a lot of games." I pretend to sympathize but act like I have to do my job and will get nothing but issues from tenants if they still see my dish up there. I stands firm.

    He takes out his wallet (finally, guy acts like he has never been shaken down before) and starts counting 100s in front of me. He says "so what's the fine, between you and me? Does $300 sound alright to you? I don't write cheques, so we can just keep this quiet, right?". I scoop the 3 bills, and tell him I'll be back next week.

    I suppose I could have taken his whole wad, but you know what they say about fleecing a sheep vs. killing it. This guy should be good for an easy $4k tax free this year, and will allow me to keep betting the horses without the wife getting all pissy asking where the money went.

    As long as this guy thinks he is skirting the rules (what rules?) I'll be coming by for pony and baseball picks.

    Thanks a lot, dude.
  • KingRevolver
    SBR Hall of Famer
    • 06-05-09
    • 5293

    #2


    Solid.
    Comment
    • bluefish
      SBR Wise Guy
      • 04-13-09
      • 917

      #3
      Originally posted by MainEventOrBust
      I work at a condo with fairly strict rules. Nothing on balcony allowed except nice furniture, gas BBQ and plants. No satellite dish, etc. It is a classy place and the management does not want degenerates fukking it all up for everyone.

      Anyhow, to make a long story short, one of my tenants has a propane BBQ (not allowed) and a satellite dish. I knocked on his door and told him I've gotten complaints about the stuff he has on his balcony. (I made this part up to get my foot in the door). He says "everything up there is classy, you have nothing to worry about." I insist on taking a look, so I let him through.

      I take one look, and say "no, no, no, we can't have this. No propane BBQs allowed, and no satellite dishes". He argues with me a while and says "it's no big deal, I am careful with my steaks and only cook them medium rare anyways." (Like the building will burn any slower when that sh*t explodes just because the meat is a little rare). He also says stuff like "come on, you must be a sports fan, give me a break, I like to watch a lot of games." I pretend to sympathize but act like I have to do my job and will get nothing but issues from tenants if they still see my dish up there. I stands firm.

      He takes out his wallet (finally, guy acts like he has never been shaken down before) and starts counting 100s in front of me. He says "so what's the fine, between you and me? Does $300 sound alright to you? I don't write cheques, so we can just keep this quiet, right?". I scoop the 3 bills, and tell him I'll be back next week.

      I suppose I could have taken his whole wad, but you know what they say about fleecing a sheep vs. killing it. This guy should be good for an easy $4k tax free this year, and will allow me to keep betting the horses without the wife getting all pissy asking where the money went.

      As long as this guy thinks he is skirting the rules (what rules?) I'll be coming by for pony and baseball picks.

      Thanks a lot, dude.
      Hopefully he isn't a degenerate and reads this. I would punch you in the mouth when I saw you next week if I read this and I was him.
      Comment
      • KingRevolver
        SBR Hall of Famer
        • 06-05-09
        • 5293

        #4
        Originally posted by bluefish
        Hopefully his isn't a degenerate and reads this. I would punch you in the mouth when I saw you next week if I read this and I was him.
        He might be closer than you think.
        Comment
        • bobbyfk
          SBR Posting Legend
          • 01-19-09
          • 15218

          #5
          Comment
          • bettilimbroke999
            SBR Posting Legend
            • 02-04-08
            • 13254

            #6
            Comment
            • yisman
              SBR Aristocracy
              • 09-01-08
              • 75682

              #7


              You missed a few spots, though. "I insist on taking a look, so I let him through."
              [quote=jjgold;5683305]I win again like usual
              [/quote]

              [quote=Whippit;7921056]miami won't lose a single eastern conference game through end of season[/quote]
              Comment
              • mathdotcom
                SBR Posting Legend
                • 03-24-08
                • 11689

                #8
                Originally posted by MainEventOrBust
                I work at a condo with fairly strict rules. Nothing on balcony allowed except nice furniture, gas BBQ and plants. No satellite dish, etc. It is a classy place and the management does not want degenerates fukking it all up for everyone.

                Anyhow, to make a long story short, one of my tenants has a propane BBQ (not allowed) and a satellite dish. I knocked on his door and told him I've gotten complaints about the stuff he has on his balcony. (I made this part up to get my foot in the door). He says "everything up there is classy, you have nothing to worry about." I insist on taking a look, so I let him through.

                I take one look, and say "no, no, no, we can't have this. No propane BBQs allowed, and no satellite dishes". He argues with me a while and says "it's no big deal, I am careful with my steaks and only cook them medium rare anyways." (Like the building will burn any slower when that sh*t explodes just because the meat is a little rare). He also says stuff like "come on, you must be a sports fan, give me a break, I like to watch a lot of games." I pretend to sympathize but act like I have to do my job and will get nothing but issues from tenants if they still see my dish up there. I stands firm.

                He takes out his wallet (finally, guy acts like he has never been shaken down before) and starts counting 100s in front of me. He says "so what's the fine, between you and me? Does $300 sound alright to you? I don't write cheques, so we can just keep this quiet, right?". I scoop the 3 bills, and tell him I'll be back next week.

                I suppose I could have taken his whole wad, but you know what they say about fleecing a sheep vs. killing it. This guy should be good for an easy $4k tax free this year, and will allow me to keep betting the horses without the wife getting all pissy asking where the money went.

                As long as this guy thinks he is skirting the rules (what rules?) I'll be coming by for pony and baseball picks.

                Thanks a lot, dude.

                Next time do a better job editing. Those are counterfeit bills you fukk and you will be arrested when you try to spend one.

                Guy was a horse bettor though, I could tell
                Comment
                • yisman
                  SBR Aristocracy
                  • 09-01-08
                  • 75682

                  #9
                  Originally posted by bluefish
                  Hopefully he isn't a degenerate and reads this. I would punch you in the mouth when I saw you next week if I read this and I was him.
                  [quote=jjgold;5683305]I win again like usual
                  [/quote]

                  [quote=Whippit;7921056]miami won't lose a single eastern conference game through end of season[/quote]
                  Comment
                  • sickler
                    SBR Posting Legend
                    • 06-05-08
                    • 15006

                    #10
                    Nice piece of fiction.
                    Comment
                    • hoopster42
                      Restricted User
                      • 02-12-08
                      • 6099

                      #11
                      you motherfukker, the tenant is ME...................... i'm coming by to get MY MONEY asshole

                      Comment
                      • mathdotcom
                        SBR Posting Legend
                        • 03-24-08
                        • 11689

                        #12
                        hoopster you need to read more threads to get the joke pal

                        he is plagiarizing me
                        Comment
                        • hoopster42
                          Restricted User
                          • 02-12-08
                          • 6099

                          #13
                          Originally posted by mathdotcom
                          hoopster you need to read more threads to get the joke pal

                          he is plagiarizing me
                          got it, and the dood's an obvious ghost because just joined today, and pretty active and well versed on SBR w/33 posts and 1 day of action yet knows enough to plagiarize you!

                          ghosts
                          Comment
                          • yisman
                            SBR Aristocracy
                            • 09-01-08
                            • 75682

                            #14
                            Originally posted by hoopster42
                            you motherfukker, the tenant is ME...................... i'm coming by to get MY MONEY asshole
                            You're even worse than bluefish.
                            [quote=jjgold;5683305]I win again like usual
                            [/quote]

                            [quote=Whippit;7921056]miami won't lose a single eastern conference game through end of season[/quote]
                            Comment
                            • mathdotcom
                              SBR Posting Legend
                              • 03-24-08
                              • 11689

                              #15
                              If he comes back I will have mousetraps on balcony so if he tries to take dish or BBQ, WHAM. When he is moaning and screaming I will fukkin' take out the chain saw like at the start of Scarface. Once you are duked, you disappear. If you come back I get the money back with interest and take you down.

                              I am steaming and might actually go pick a fight at a redneck bar
                              Comment
                              • MainEventOrBust
                                SBR Hustler
                                • 07-16-09
                                • 51

                                #16
                                Originally posted by hoopster42
                                got it, and the dood's an obvious ghost because just joined today, and pretty active and well versed on SBR w/33 posts and 1 day of action yet knows enough to plagiarize you!

                                ghosts

                                Not a ghost (troll, sock-puppet, whatever this forum uses to identify people who make dupe accounts)--I promise. High post volume on day one/two was due to 30 post minimum to get into Bodog Freeroll---which I donked out of way early.

                                This post was made in fun, since I really enjoyed the original poster's story about his landlord. No malice intended, I swear. As for SBR, the format is no different from the half-dozen or so other forums I subscribe to.

                                Good luck to all, and again, no offense intended to mdc.
                                Comment
                                • Flying Dutchman
                                  SBR MVP
                                  • 05-17-09
                                  • 2467

                                  #17
                                  MainEvent: if this is true, you are scum. But fear not, your karma will catch up to you.

                                  Comment
                                  • yisman
                                    SBR Aristocracy
                                    • 09-01-08
                                    • 75682

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Flying Dutchman
                                    MainEvent: if this is true, you are scum. But fear not, your karma will catch up to you.
                                    [quote=jjgold;5683305]I win again like usual
                                    [/quote]

                                    [quote=Whippit;7921056]miami won't lose a single eastern conference game through end of season[/quote]
                                    Comment
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