The Official 'Bread Not Drinking' Thread

[Robyn]

Dear SBR,

I keep waiting to come home from work to find 8 empty Corona bottles on the kitchen counter...but it hasn't happened. I've never seen him so productive. We even went to the store Sunday morning to purchase a bird feeder so he could look out the window to see birds and squirrels and shit. And by shit, I mean other critters of nature.

Should I be worried?

Love,

Robyn

[KingRevolver]

Yes, honey. Two more weeks without alcohol and he'll start beating you out of frustration! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN, ROBYN! Come to papa! I'll drink away...

[Casperwaits]

Be afraid, be very afraid. Soon he is going to ask for sex or something like that.

[TheIntegrityKid]

When he walks thru the door, be naked with a bottle of Corona in each hand...

If he doesn't grab one, take a big chug and then pounce on you, THEN be worried...

[Teela]

If he's sitting at home and watching nature, yes. I had concerns with feeding the ducks at the pond, but the birdfeeder is a step too far.

[Robyn]

My greatest fear is for those who will be in Vegas in August. Two beers and the guy will be out of control. I wonder Deuce and Rake are willing to provide bouncing services if necessary.

[Flying Dutchman]

My greatest fear is for those who will be in Vegas in August. Two beers and the guy will be out of control. I wonder Deuce and Rake are willing to provide bouncing services if necessary.

How about handcuffs, leg irons, and a choke chain with a long leash?

[The HG]

In the bedroom, is he FINALLY paying attention to YOUR needs?

Has he begun to realize that there is an actual other person in the room when you make love, and that maybe you might like to *** too once in a while?

Is he finally understanding that making love involves something called "foreplay", and is not just shoving it in for 2 seconds and then passing out on top of you when he's done?

Is he finally learning that foreplay does not mean taking a leak?

Is he beginning to catch on that a woman has more arajonis zones then just her twat? That she in fact has dozens, the most arajonis and sexiest of which happens to be her brain??

If so, then girl, just enjoy it, don't ask questions! Most women would kill for a guy like that.

[KingRevolver]

My greatest fear is for those who will be in Vegas in August. Two beers and the guy will be out of control. I wonder Deuce and Rake are willing to provide bouncing services if necessary.

Deuce and Rake can't bounce their own grandma's. Listen, hon. I have the solution to all of your problems. We'll discuss this further when all these filthy animals stop crawling around in this thread. Can't even get any privacy! Anyway, the answer is in my jeans...





*takes the paper out of my right jean pocket* Voila! Here it is...let me read it over.

[Robyn]

In the bedroom, is he FINALLY paying attention to YOUR needs?

Has he begun to realize that there is an actual other person in the room when you make love, and that maybe you might like to *** too once in a while?

Is he finally understanding that making love involves something called "foreplay", and is not just shoving it in for 2 seconds and then passing out on top of you when he's done?

Is he finally learning that foreplay does not mean taking a leak?

Is he beginning to catch on that a woman has more arajonis zones then just her twat? That she in fact has dozens, the most arajonis and sexiest of which happens to be her brain??

If so, then girl, just enjoy it, don't ask questions! Most women would kill for a guy like that.

HG, this may sound strange, but Bread is quite fantastic in the above mentioned areas. BUT....oddly enough, he is typically at his best the morning after he finishes off an entire case of beer. I am sad that I will not reap the benefits of his Vegas tomfoolery.

It is up to all of you to make sure that RogueScholar does not escort Bread back to his hotel room that weekend.

[Emmett Brown]

HG, this may sound strange, but Bread is quite fantastic in the above mentioned areas. BUT....oddly enough, he is typically at his best the morning after he finishes off an entire case of beer. I am sad that I will not reap the benefits of his Vegas tomfoolery.

It is up to all of you to make sure that RogueScholar does not escort Bread back to his hotel room that weekend.

[Robyn]

Dr. Brown, is it even possible to be at your best the morning after drinking a case of beer? It sounds like some kind of scenario from Bizarro World.

Hey, do you think that Back to the Future was prophetic in utilizing filthy Arabs as terrorists trying to reclaim the plutonium from the flux capacitor?

[BadNina]

I am disappointed. I just knew that someone would make a soggy Bread joke.

[Deuce]

Deuce and Rake can't bounce their own grandma's. Listen, hon. I have the solution to all of your problems. We'll discuss this further when all these filthy animals stop crawling around in this thread. Can't even get any privacy! Anyway, the answer is in my jeans...





*takes the paper out of my right jean pocket* Voila! Here it is...let me read it over.

Interesting...

[tacomax]

HG, this may sound strange, but Bread is quite fantastic in the above mentioned areas. BUT....oddly enough, he is typically at his best the morning after he finishes off an entire case of beer. I am sad that I will not reap the benefits of his Vegas tomfoolery.

I am 100% sure that Bread wrote that part of the post.

[KingRevolver]

Interesting...

[MrMonkey]

I am 100% sure that Bread wrote that part of the post.

There goes Taco, the master of the oneliners! Nah, that is coming from Robyn. She knows the man has a mental problem, but it could be worse and be physical too! Love a woman who keeps her priorities in order

[AMBlai01]

I miss drunk Bread....this new guy is no fun and way too nice...

[pavyracer]

He drinks the beer at the spoke shop. Why would he bring the bottles from work home?

[SlickFazzer]

You mean bread has sobered up for good? I'm not buying it.

[wtf]

1) put bread on plane to vegas with smile on your face
2) quickly pack few pair of underwear (eatable if available)
3) take first class ticket to hong kong provided by yours truly insert in purse
4) call taxi to airport
5) live happily ever after

[Teela]

Even when sober, Bread is far from nice.

[MrMonkey]

The 3 Stooges who just replied in this thread! Pavy or Larry! How the hell did you get a stripper to marry you! And don't tell me it's what's between your legs! They have seen bigger and better I assure you!

Now everyone wants Bread back to break balls! Can't have your cake and eat it too! Never be in the same league as the man, but can I practice my routine on your guys to make you feel better while he is on hiatus!

PS a 4th Stooge! just entered! WTF, get rid of that avatar! Can't see what is written anyway! Everytime I see a post I think that really is you and bangos start playing in my head!


Slow with typing! NOT YOU TEELA!!!!

[jjgold]

I like when Bread does not drink and he also seems vulnerable with men also.

[SlickFazzer]

I have yet to see any homasexaul tendencies from Bread. He likes to pork women.

[pavyracer]

I have yet to see any homasexaul tendencies from Bread. He likes to pork women.

I thought he was hooking up with other swingers a couple months back. When you meet swingers for sex do the other guy just ****s Robyn and Bread ****s the other guy's wife or do the men and the women **** each other too?

[SlickFazzer]

No Paver, most mainstream swingers parties stick to boy girl action. In other
words, while Bread was aggressively making love to a strange women, out
of the corner of his eye he could see and hear Robyn getting railed by some
big stud.

[Shark79]

What a ripoff ... Bread not drinking ... is like Pavy not being sarcastic. Two Thumbs down.

[pavyracer]

No Paver, most mainstream swingers parties stick to boy girl action. In other
words, while Bread was aggressively making love to a strange women, out
of the corner of his eye he could see and hear Robyn getting railed by some
big stud.

That makes sense. I think it will be very erotic to hear your wife moan while you are doing some other chick. I may try this if I can find a guy bigger than me to do my wife.

[jjgold]

I thought Bread said he was Bi??

[SlickFazzer]

I may have a hard time listening to the moans of my girl while she is getting pounded by some big stud.

[SlickFazzer]

I thought Bread said he was Bi??

I don't believe he has ever touched another pecker.

[KingRevolver]

Think again.

[Robyn]

Bread is only bi when he drinks liquor.

[Emmett Brown]

I like when Bread does not drink and he also seems vulnerable with men also.