I'm your man, tell me your problem and I will try my best to give you a way to fix whatever dilemma you may be facing? Though I would use my phsychology background for a good purpose... 
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How to pick up a girl, I am very very unsuccessful at it and no confidence.Comment -
Cool, thanks.
I post at a gambling forum and have a number of issues.
1) I'm having an ongoing conversation in a thread with a self confessed pedophile who I really cant stand but he's helping bump my post count in an effort I can get a tank of paid gas to the bash.....can you lend me a tank of gas please so I can stop talking to the ass-hole?
2) I haven't spoke to Bread in a while and we rarely cross paths anymore but I'd like to start a conversation with him so I can tell him what a fukkkkin asshole he is for suggesting the tranny would win American Idol. I felt the same way but held off until I saw he thought the same way, I simply want to tell him he's a fukkkkin loser, so...can you tell him I asked about him on the basis he may reply? Thanks.
3) I made a comment about JJ Golds head being the size of a buoy. I was wrong. Having just seen a buoy I now realise he has a head the size of a small European car.
Regards and thanks for the help.Comment -
I have a problem.
How do you determine the proper strength of schedule adjustment to a spread?Comment -
Is the NBA fixed? Why does David Stern want Lakers - Cavs in the finals?Comment -
ijw2bp...First of all welcome to your new role as SBR guidance counselor.
Now...Can you ask English Mike why he pulls on my piggy tails and then runs across the schoolyard giggling? Is there something he wants to tell me? I'm not so unapproachable.
Also, since you're taking requests Kasey Kasem...What does it mean when all my summer shorts are much tighter than they were the last time that I put them on???
Does this mean that I'm having a baby?!?! OMG please tell me yes! Oh how I want to procreate! Little Bread babies everywhere!Comment -
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IJW2BP...I seem to be in possesion of a pretty pink ribbon that I must have inadvertently pulled from someones pigtails, could you return it to its rightful owner please.
Thanks.
Regards.Comment -
Hi there! Can you predict the future? When will Brock Landers post another sob story speech about gambling and his life. Within 1 year or later?המוסד
המוסד למודיעין ולתפקידים מיוחדים
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ijw2bp...tell my schoolyard courter that if/when I see him in Vegas, I'm gonna take a 2.1 lb ashtray to his cranium.
Actually, I'm not sure this is acceptable decorum for an SBR event.
Just tell him that I'm going to give him a wedgie. Thanks.Comment -
I second the nomination for getting JJGOLD a girl.
My only condition is that he has to do a video with her, so they can exchange giving shout outs and F-bombs to everyone in this thread.Comment -
Originally posted by jjgold
JJ, I have told you this before but I highly recommend you take some time off from our spreadsheet for a weekend and bring yourself to a bar to find the drunk single ladies. I would recommend getting there early because the more desperate women will be the first ones to get to the bar and the last ones to eave. I know you dont like to drink much so maybe fake an interest in pool or darts so that you will have a line of communication with these ladies that does not include drinking. There are also some bowling leagues that target singles that I'm sure you would find fun. But most importantly you need to get out some and the more you communicate with the ladies the more comfortable you will feel around them as well as the more comfortable they will feel around you. Maybe set small goals once a week that you can work on so that you you will feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the first few weeks if for some reason you dont end up sealing the deal. Either way like I have mentioned before you possess the confidence and it shows in your videos. We just have to find a way to apply this confidence to the female department! Best of luck though and I expect a full report on your progression.
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IJW2BP....Could you please tell Bread to splinter my cranium the next time i hear Tainted Love.
Regards.Comment -
Originally posted by Justin7
Sorry Justin, I wil have to refer you Doctor Ganchrow for this symptom. He is a specialist in this department and if you make an appointment im sure he would be more than willing to prescribe you a good formula to help you out with this problem!Comment -
Way to kill a good thread with your immigration BS Juror
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Dear ijustwantsomeadvice,
I can't get the following song out of my mind. Do you think its a sign I should meet RogueJuror over in Ciudad Acuña, drag Lou and Dave with me and everyone get weighed by a proper lady of the evening over at Chappa's Kilometres Seis Cantina?
Signed,
Confused in Texas
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P.S. --- Viva Freddy Fender!
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[quote=englishmike;1895577]Cool, thanks.
I post at a gambling forum and have a number of issues.
1) I'm having an ongoing conversation in a thread with a self confessed pedophile who I really cant stand but he's helping bump my post count in an effort I can get a tank of paid gas to the bash.....can you lend me a tank of gas please so I can stop talking to the ass-hole?
Well englishmike, we have to first assess where you will be driving from so that we may make a decision as to if the stress of being in an ongoing feud with this poster is worth the numerical value you place on your gasoline. We will take benefit-risk analysis of this problem and then we can properly diagnose this condition of being broke that seems to be so rampant in this forum. It is possible that you might just have to deal with this problem by facing it head on and in time it will fix itself. We can try our best to not let the body respond to these negative urges that come on naturally. I would have no problem just lending you a tank of gasoline to make it to the bash but then the problem will just be masked but not fixed. We might also have to teach you how to use the mute button so that you will no longer be hindered by this problematic symptom. A great option would be to find posts that spark your positive interests and increase your post count in this manner.
2) I haven't spoke to Bread in a while and we rarely cross paths anymore but I'd like to start a conversation with him so I can tell him what a fukkkkin asshole he is for suggesting the tranny would win American Idol. I felt the same way but held off until I saw he thought the same way, I simply want to tell him he's a fukkkkin loser, so...can you tell him I asked about him on the basis he may reply? Thanks.
We are again letting our homophobic tendencies affect our decision making. When you say you felt the tranny would win this American Idol contest what kept you from acting on your instinct to place a wager on this she-male? Bread obviously has an expertise in this area but even you admit that you felt the same way earlier then he. I would assume with these conclusions that you let your anger/fear of homosexuals from helping you in increasing your bank roll at the levels that would keep you content. Instead of criticizing bread we can point out his positives so that we may keep a good relationship with this poster while using his assets to help us out in making this relationship a symbiotic one.
3) I made a comment about JJ Golds head being the size of a buoy. I was wrong. Having just seen a buoy I now realize he has a head the size of a small European car.
I refuse to discuss other patients do to a doctor patient confidentiality agreement. Let me just assure you that we are working with this patient on his confidence issues and I can tell you from experience that people do not always portray on the outside how they are on the inside..Comment -
Yes pavy, the NBA is fixed and Mr Stern wants the Lakers-Cavs in the finals due to financial reprocussions that the league would face if these teams were not to only make it to the finals but to also make it an extended series...Originally posted by pavyracer
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Englishmike is simply expressing an interest in the unknown with his curious tendencies. He finds your lifestyle intriguing and feels that you posses many raw talents. Englishmike looks up to you in a way that many posters look up to Justin or Ganch. He feels that he needs your approval before pulling the trigger on certain plays and also feels that you have not been showing him enough attention. Like a beat child he feels that any attention is better than no attention hence the attempts at him making contact with you. I believe he wants you to know that he appreciates what you do for him as a role model and if you could reply to him and show him some personal attention it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks..Originally posted by Bread
Bread, regarding your summer shorts;
The summer has recently set in and without enough information I can only assume that these summer shorts He not been worn in some time. Lets not jump to conclusions and assume that you are pregnant but we will not discard that thought either. From what I know about you thus far I would be inclined to believe that when you begin to drink in the early morning hours you calorie intake increases dramatically which would lead you to put on a few pounds. Just remember that there are 9 fat calories in a gram and adjust accordingly. Possibly switching to a lighter beer if that is not out of the picture. I will have to schedule you with Sammy in the OBGYN department for further analysis. Explain to him if you are having mood swings which may be a sign of a hormone shift which could other be a sign of pregnancy or menopause depending on your age. You can easily purchase a pregnancy test at your local drugstore if you would like to go that route but I have to tel you that if you are in fact pregnant you must quit drinking or your baby may face problems associated with fetal alcohol syndrome.We have another poster that specializes in this named Bobbyfk i believe.
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Thank you sir. I can sleep better now. You are a good man untiltheendoftime...I mean ijustwant2bepaid.Comment -
Cerveza y musica con beisbol ahora. Oye, come se dice 'freak out' en español? Palabra mas fuerte que loco.Originally posted by RogueJurorComment -
Taken care of bud, please come back next week and let me know how thigs are "working out."Originally posted by englishmike
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We are working on this currently, I feel JJ will find himself a nice female sooner than later and a female that simply appeases his interests in thee very near future. As a friend to JJ I just ask you to simply be supportive in his search for happiness!Originally posted by slacker00
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Originally posted by flyingillini
This is a very touchy subject considering that Brock has the capping skills but lacks proper bankroll management. I feel that if this guy properly manages his roll it may be as long as 1-1.5 years before we are all faced with another sob story. The problem we face is dealing with this posters opinions on a forum where stiffs are not respected. According to Brock stiffing others is common practice, after all it seems like he has even stiffed his own father for 90 grand.
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[quote=ijustwant2bpaid;1895729]Thanks Doc, how much do I owe you?Originally posted by englishmikeCool, thanks.
I post at a gambling forum and have a number of issues.
1) I'm having an ongoing conversation in a thread with a self confessed pedophile who I really cant stand but he's helping bump my post count in an effort I can get a tank of paid gas to the bash.....can you lend me a tank of gas please so I can stop talking to the ass-hole?
Well englishmike, we have to first assess where you will be driving from so that we may make a decision as to if the stress of being in an ongoing feud with this poster is worth the numerical value you place on your gasoline. We will take benefit-risk analysis of this problem and then we can properly diagnose this condition of being broke that seems to be so rampant in this forum. It is possible that you might just have to deal with this problem by facing it head on and in time it will fix itself. We can try our best to not let the body respond to these negative urges that come on naturally. I would have no problem just lending you a tank of gasoline to make it to the bash but then the problem will just be masked but not fixed. We might also have to teach you how to use the mute button so that you will no longer be hindered by this problematic symptom. A great option would be to find posts that spark your positive interests and increase your post count in this manner.
2) I haven't spoke to Bread in a while and we rarely cross paths anymore but I'd like to start a conversation with him so I can tell him what a fukkkkin asshole he is for suggesting the tranny would win American Idol. I felt the same way but held off until I saw he thought the same way, I simply want to tell him he's a fukkkkin loser, so...can you tell him I asked about him on the basis he may reply? Thanks.
We are again letting our homophobic tendencies affect our decision making. When you say you felt the tranny would win this American Idol contest what kept you from acting on your instinct to place a wager on this she-male? Bread obviously has an expertise in this area but even you admit that you felt the same way earlier then he. I would assume with these conclusions that you let your anger/fear of homosexuals from helping you in increasing your bank roll at the levels that would keep you content. Instead of criticizing bread we can point out his positives so that we may keep a good relationship with this poster while using his assets to help us out in making this relationship a symbiotic one.
3) I made a comment about JJ Golds head being the size of a buoy. I was wrong. Having just seen a buoy I now realize he has a head the size of a small European car.
I refuse to discuss other patients do to a doctor patient confidentiality agreement. Let me just assure you that we are working with this patient on his confidence issues and I can tell you from experience that people do not always portray on the outside how they are on the inside..Comment -
Originally posted by Rogue Juror
I would suggest finding a women who has recently been through a divorce to take you on as a pity case. Cougars are highly recommended as they are usually established and could offer financial security as long as you break them on a regular basis. You have to find one hat you know you can keep under your wing for a substantial amount of time considering the bureaucratic wait times you may be facing after your application is submitted. I suggest eloping as quick as possible to get the process jump started and also to let the women start making money so that when your **** is obtained successfully you have a nice nest egg to go find true love with.
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I would suggest that while being taken care of by a lady of the night would be perfect to ease your symptoms, having Mr Juror meet you in Veags to recieve this treatment would alleviate them alot better. This way Mr Juror can look for his future ex-wife and you guys can get the excessive gambling to subside as well. Lou can use a few different ladies to loosen him up get rid of his excessive banning problem but I feel Dave is doing well on his diet and girlfriend plan. And for the song being stuck in your head, a nice dose of Bob Marley's "no woman, no cry" and a big spliff should do the trick!Originally posted by Willie Bee
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I hope I helped to improve your days gentleman. I will be here for you guys if my services are needed in the future as well.
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gd job. It's nice to see you bringing your talents to the forum.(instead of just being a prick). Looks like a lot of work though.bird bird da bird's da wordComment