VIDEO: SBR Slots vs. Real Casino Slots.... which do you prefer???

[jjgold]

Bobby Waves a tremendous poker player

[Auto Donk]

Bobby Waves a tremendous poker player

stop JJ, stop now!!!! you're killing me......


I can't catch my breath I'm laffing so hard..... so hard it hurts!

[Auto Donk]

ps, JJ.... I know it's hard for you to give me credit (I UNDERSTAND, since i'm always slappin' you around like a red headed stepchild on the forum), so I guess I'll have to take your comments about waves as an indirect compliment of my own "tremendous-'plus'" poker playing skills.....

waves sucks, and as usual, a quick glance at today's yearly leaderboard on sbr and the leaderboard of the running sbr promo, shows that once again the pathetic angleshooting scam artist bobby waves is having to look up to me, and TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES......

[Dollars2Donuts]

Swamps and Toxic Waste.

Will remind him of his home in NJ.

[Grits n' Gravy]

yes, i generally only play igt machines that you can "stop short" ie, hit the stop button to stop the reels short of where they are programmed to stop.... the internal programming of the machines generally catches on after about five mins of this, and stops paying, but before that time, i usually cash up, and as soon as the short stoppin stops paying, I bail.....

raped several machines for 2-300 on 60 dollar buy ins before bailin.....

in the words of clyde drexler, it's like clubbin' baby seals......

by the time i left talking stick, everyone who saw me play slots was pounding machines short stoppin the reels....

old ladies burning heaters would initially get pissed when I pulled up at a machine and start doing that, and immediately go from 60 to a couple hundred, as their balances were getting pilfered away, but once they saw how effective it is, they'd almost all start mimicking me within a minute or two.....

results don't lie

Congrats on nice win but the "stop short" thing you speak of is just another gambler fallacy. The stops are predetermined and hitting the stop spin button doesn't alter the outcome at all.

Those 888 games have an average hold of 14% so the odds are more than stacked against the player in the long run.

[Auto Donk]

Congrats on nice win but the "stop short" thing you speak of is just another gambler fallacy. The stops are predetermined and hitting the stop spin button doesn't alter the outcome at all.

Those 888 games have an average hold of 14% so the odds are more than stacked against the player in the long run.

agree that most new slots are pre-programmed, but older machines can be jimmied by the short stop..... I had the reel barely rolling on an older model quickhit machine when I shorted it for 8 quickhits and a 3400+ jackpot..... to where I was initially concerned they would try to void it due to a "malfunction"..... they didn't, paid up, and while doing so said "Ive never seen anyone hit this bank of machines".....

IGT machines are particularly vulnerable to the short stop

[jjgold]

Guy got lucky and now he is a slot pro

It's a nice win but this is same guy that will not play me winner take all poker game

[Auto Donk]

Guy got lucky and now he is a slot pro

It's a nice win but this is same guy that will not play me winner take all poker game

fukhead i accepted your "winner take all" $20k heads up poker challenge, and you pussied out again.... no surprise there.....

and i've been using my system to rape IGT machines for over two years now..... will do it again this weekend at L'auberge and Golden Nugget.....

[biggie12]

agree that most new slots are pre-programmed, but older machines can be jimmied by the short stop..... I had the reel barely rolling on an older model quickhit machine when I shorted it for 8 quickhits and a 3400+ jackpot..... to where I was initially concerned they would try to void it due to a "malfunction"..... they didn't, paid up, and while doing so said "Ive never seen anyone hit this bank of machines".....

IGT machines are particularly vulnerable to the short stop

donk your like a 16 year old boy in a 40 year old body. Your funny dude.

[jjgold]

Automan I might report you to casinos unless we come to some sort of an agreement, I am sure your well aware of deals made behind closed doors.

I can get you blackballed

I will wait here for your offer

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Donker.... Nice hit!!

[biggie12]

gonna blow $4k of it on courtside seats behind rockets bench on 2nd home game in series vs. spurs, about 1500 per seat, 500 on an early dinner at Sullivan's steakhouse, and 400 on a room at the four seasons afterward.....

her bday is may 6, gonna treat her a little bit early.....

You wont find tix at that price unless you personally buying them from someone.

You will be looking at closer to 5k US you might be able to get 107/120 first row for 4k.

[Auto Donk]

Automan I might report you to casinos unless we come to some sort of an agreement, I am sure your well aware of deals made behind closed doors.

I can get you blackballed

I will wait here for your offer

i already have to wear disguises in some vegas casinos, due to the 2009 run I made on various machines vulnerable to the "short stop" during my wsop run that year.....

so, no deal..... unless you're on my payroll and can help with security when I travel.... then I'll cut you in and teach you how to be successful at slots

[Auto Donk]

ps, JJ,.... remember punta cana this past feburary????

if not, here's a little reminder....







.... another IGT machine givin' it up like a cell bitch to the "short stop".....

JJ, when you play slots like I do, you don't have to stand around pissed off wearing warmups pulled up damn near to your , making videos of yourself grabbin' your schshort and screaming at the camera like a broke mad man......

(in case your forgot, a little reminder of that as well) :





instead, you get to travel the world, visit exotic locations, and have your beautiful wife take photos of the two of you like this:

[jjgold]

[Auto Donk]

You wont find tix at that price unless you personally buying them from someone.

You will be looking at closer to 5k US you might be able to get 107/120 first row for 4k.

sec behind bench (119) has em for 6oo+ on stubhub right now, 22 rows up -- i may have to settle for that.... or kick Rusty Harden's ass outside the arena beforehand and help myself to his seats.....

edit.... might have to settle for somehting like that.... ticks go on sale morning after spurs close out... .hoping to find a couple in 119 that are freed up and not season......

[jjgold]

Why waste the money?

Go and pay no more than $200

[Auto Donk]

I wanna see the look on Harden's face when he looks behind the bench and gawks at my wife's .....

phil ivey once stared at them for a minute straight and then tried to catch her eye for the next ten minutes once during a wsop trny.... not realizing I was getting a kick out of watching him from the next table over

[TheMoneyShot]

Donker living the Miller High Life

[Auto Donk]

JJ, to be considered to join my security team, you' re going to have to get into shape.....

i suggest using this guy as your training coach..... he works well with pussies......

[jjgold]

Strike 2

[stevek173]

phil ivey once stared at them for a minute straight and then tried to catch her eye for the next ten minutes once during a wsop trny.... not realizing I was getting a kick out of watching him from the next table over

For real?

[Grits n' Gravy]

agree that most new slots are pre-programmed, but older machines can be jimmied by the short stop..... I had the reel barely rolling on an older model quickhit machine when I shorted it for 8 quickhits and a 3400+ jackpot..... to where I was initially concerned they would try to void it due to a "malfunction"..... they didn't, paid up, and while doing so said "Ive never seen anyone hit this bank of machines".....

IGT machines are particularly vulnerable to the short stop

Trust me when I tell you the short stop doesn't impact the outcome of the spin on any machine made by IGT. The feature was installed on machines so more spins per minute would be possible. Just a way of separating gamblers from their money quicker.

If you think it makes you win, more power to you.

In the 5 years I spent as vp of slots for a big resort on strip the amount of lifetime winners on slots equal the amount of hair on jj's head.

[jjgold]

Gritter Fishhead beat Vegas approx 1 million lifetime

[gauchojake]

Gritter I am glad you are back from your sabbatical.

[Auto Donk]

For real?

indeed, i don't lie, it was the last year ivey played before his boycott..... doyle bruson was at my table and even he did a double take when my bustier-sportin' wife rolled up to get some money from me...... (she'd sweet talked her way into the player's area, or at least her ample bosom did)......

[Auto Donk]

Trust me when I tell you the short stop doesn't impact the outcome of the spin on any machine made by IGT. The feature was installed on machines so more spins per minute would be possible. Just a way of separating gamblers from their money quicker.

If you think it makes you win, more power to you.

In the 5 years I spent as vp of slots for a big resort on strip the amount of lifetime winners on slots equal the amount of hair on jj's head.

you're probably right, they key is to get up and leave after short stoppin' a bonus, and hit another bank..... i know, with this latest win, I'm up "lifetime", but probably only by about 9-10k...... for every one trip of being up two grand or more, there are about 3 trips where but for my poker winnings, we're down 2-3K on slots..... key to being up if for my poker win rate to equal or surpass the wife's slot burn rate......

i'd love to get your take on the seeming ebb and flow of slots being "loosened" up during promo periods and give-away nights, as most everyone gets a feel that "the machines are paying" or "not paying shit" at any given time.

on nights with big giveaways, when the casinos in louisiana are packed, the slots pay well up to and durig the giveaways, then die and don't pay shit for 2-3 hours after they're done with the giveaways.....

is it as simple as turning them on and off?

[Auto Donk]

and the last question, why has no insider such as yourself, or a former disgruntled slot machine maker/programmer, written a "tell all" book about wtf is truly goin' on with these fukkin' machines???

ps, gng, if my wife and I make it out to vegas in june, we'd love to treat you to drinks and get the inside scoop as to wtf is really goin' on with slots, use of players cards/tracking/programming, etc., and all the ways the casino's are trying to fuk us.....

i swear, win one big hit using your card, your card then is your death knell.... (why I rarely use mine).... seem to win more when my card is out of the machine.... ton of questions, would be a fun discussion for sure....

[Dollars2Donuts]

The reason nobody has ever written a book about it, is that it is simple. Thy do not pay more during special giveaway nights, they do not have a 'pay more' or 'pay less' switch and there really is just nothing to write about. Any certain machine in any certain casino is set to pay a certain % and any variation from that is exactly that....variance. The more people playing the more people hitting big, so it feels like 'they are paying'. It doesn't matter how long the guy sat and played without winning at one machine if you sit down on that machine that hasn't paid, or the machine right next to if that JUST paid, your odds are the same.

As Gritter said....there are no tricks to winning...no matter what they say. Even if it doesn't feel that way.

[Auto Donk]

one last question, gng, it seems as if, if I'm losing, and I flip off the machine a few times, look up at the eye and the sky, and flip it off too, I almost always hit a bonus within the next five-ten mins..... do the monitors of the floor watch and laff their asses off at dickheads like me, and can they throw you a bone on a particular machine at any given moment????

[Auto Donk]

i picture the eye in the sky floor monitors watching me play slots in a relatively empty casino at 4 am on a thursday or sunday night looking like this as they watch me throw intentional overblown tantrums at a dollar slot machine:

[jjgold]

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[Auto Donk]

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JJ's finally getting with the F'N program!!!!

just let me know when your back in Vegas, and I'll be on the next flight out from Htown, even the red-eye.....

[rkelly110]

Goin' to the casino tomorrow. Will wear my I love Donk shirt and see if it brings me luck.

[jjgold]

Automan I am 5-4, 273 , bald

Set me up with model