I can't do this much longer

[unluckysob]

This is a fuking gambling forum---do not post depressing shit here---nobody gives a shit anyway---picking winners and gambling is all I care about.

[ACoochy]

This is a fuking gambling forum---do not post depressing shit here---nobody gives a shit anyway---picking winners and gambling is all I care about.

Hey sobber go cry somewhere else you pos...

Kraken one of the most respected posters on the board...

You fukk with him you fukk with 98% of us.

You Dig you wasted cumshard!?!?

[grease lightnin]

Kraker, I can't imagine what it would be like to be you. Must be tough to deal with.

But if you weren't there, somebody else's pager would be going off. The 48 yr old guy would have still had a heart attack, and his family would have still had their hearts broken.

You are a very smart guy, I know, do you trust yourself and your abilities more than the average person in your role?

I have a sneaking suspicion that you are one of the best and the people that CAN be helped are better off with YOU there to help them.

I have one of the most stressful jobs out there, I don't save people's lives, but it's on all the lists. When it gets me down, abstaining from alcohol for a few days and working out does wonders on my psyche.

Take care bro.

[daneblazer]

People get paid well for doing jobs other people can't, or don't want to do well. I feel you though... An old job I had to lay people off occasionally. It's nothing like death, but you know you are affecting good peoples lives. I could handle firing if they were jerkoffs or did something stupid, but the layoffs were tough. I still think about that and it's been years ago. I'm not there anymore.

Whatever job you do, you're certainly qualified to do something else where you wil have a equal quality of life and feel better. I kinda think we should all have different jobs at some point to branch out and experience different things

[Duckshit]

Kraken you are a Hero. Thank goodness for people like you......flipPeR stay in your lane.....must u be Everywhere talking chit?

[Jayvegas420]

When someone's death gets to me & upsets me, I usually just think to myself that "I'm glad it wasn't me."
I'm a pretty selfish guy.

[ByeShea]

It also helps just to get it out. By nature, I rarely talk about my job, but this week has simply crushed me

K,

Thank you for checking in.

It's been a rough week, but also try and remember the positive impact you've had directly on people's lives. I'm sure you can't even count how many times you were the last thing standing between a person's life and death and things worked out. And the difference your work played in the families of those involved is immeasurable.

Btw, no farting or pick pocketing if you should ever come to my aid when my ticker glitches. I require the utmost in professional care.

[Russian Rocket]

Stay strong comrade....and look for for an office job. You're still young and can do a complete 360 as far as your job/career goes.

Best of luck.

[opie1988]

Hey sobber go cry somewhere else you pos...

Kraken one of the most respected posters on the board...

You fukk with him you fukk with 98% of us.

You Dig you wasted cumshard!?!?

Cooch...just because you posted a vid showing that you're chubby, bald and middle-aged...doesn't actually make you a "somebody" on here. You dig?

Sorry to hear your down, Krak. I can only imagine. Stay strong, my friend.

[Chi_archie]

time to seduce a less skilled doctor into sexually harassing you and sue her/his ass! and retire to a less stressful job

hang in there until then

give us an update on your DUI work buddy

[trobin31]

You putting in LVADs?

[SEAHAWKHARRY]

As I get older, my job gets to me more. For the longest time I was able to separate work and life, it was easy. Someone died, I moved on. I scraped my first dead teenager off I-40 in OKC in 2001. In 2003 I transported my first dead child to an ER knowing nothing could be done. The next night, I transported my second dead child to the same ER, knowing again that there was little hope. But we worked as hard as we could. The next day, I had moved on, it's how I coped. It's how I've managed to make it this long.

The last 15 years of my life have spent perfecting my craft, so that when I have nights like tonight, I can go home and know that there was nothing else I could've done. From my perspective, everything went smooth, he had chest pain so I managed it, he couldn't breathe so I got respiratory therapy involved, when he quit breathing, he barely missed a breath before I was ventilating him, when he lost his heart beat, he barely missed a beat before I shocked him and started CPR. I was just talking to him 30 minutes before asking him what his kids names were. It was just 30 minutes ago I told his wife I would take care of him, that he was in the best hands. He was just 48 years old. Ten years ago, I'd be out right now with friends, already moved. Now I'm paralyzed thinking of how his wife broke down when I told her that he was dead, how she trusted us to make him better, how he had no choice but to go along with what we were doing because he was having a heart attack, how his kids weren't there to see there father once more.

For the fifth time this week, I've had to tell a family that their loved one died. That we did all we could, that the doctor involved is a world class physician that wrote the books, that is broadcast all over the world because he's so fukking good.

So here I sit, my pager next to me, staring at me. I know it will go off again soon, and I'll be called in for another heart attack, or heart failure so bad that we'll put in a special pump that only a handful of hospitals in the world can put in. I know the odds will be stacked against that patient as well, and I'll tell that family that they're in the best possible hands because I believe it with all my being, and that I'll take the best possible care of them.

And my wife wants to know whats for dinner

But knowing that you have saved just 1 life

1 life makes your job so worth it bud you have given back life to the lifeless
You are a hero bud
Make care
Remember you don't take lives to save em
Good for you

[Slipknot26]

Your profession is just like gambling , it seems.
We think of all the the bad beats , never the good ones .
You're doing the same thing here , I don't know you but it seems you're doing the same with your job ?
Where's the good news where you did save numerous lives ? I know undoubtedly there are many examples of it. Focus on them , not just the bad.
But, it seems , just as gamblers , our job is programmed just alike.
Always remembering the bad , the good ones fade off in a distant memory.
But you're right, we just never know but remember the good news when you start focusing on the bad.
You have saved lives , think about that . That's truly amazing of being able to do that once . Think about that family knowing you were involved with a member being alive today because of the help of you .
Best of luck to you , take care

[kidcudi92]

Kraken keep up the good work. When I was in that ambulance a week ago I was scared shitless of my future but the paramedics were absolutely wonderful in making me feel that it would all work out. What you guys (nurses, emts, doctors, etc) is great. Although starting an IV in an ambulance was an interesting experience but it was all good. Thank you.

[eidolon]

People in social work (dealing with people's problems) are the most depressed because they see so many life instances in a short amount of time, that as humans its hard to separate the feelings.

[Jayvegas420]

Cooch...just because you posted a vid showing that you're chubby, bald and middle-aged...doesn't actually make you a "somebody" on here. You dig?

Sorry to hear your down, Krak. I can only imagine. Stay strong, my friend.

Can we get this man his "garden variety " badge?

Thanks in advance

[opie1988]

Can we get this man his "garden variety " badge?

Thanks in advance

Been asking for this for years. Would be a great honor.

[Jayvegas420]

What do you have against The Cootch?
Do you hate all foreigners or just the Non European ones?
That's racist.

[jjgold]

guys on tilt here

If you do not like something move one

Complaining does no good or gets you anywhere

[gauchojake]

jj will have a VAD one day

[toga toga]

From my perspective, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, When all of those events and tragedies stop bothering you, that is the time to get out.

The person on the other end, wants someone with compassion and that cares. That would be you. it is difficult to separate the daily grind and your life --- that is the challenge and in your busiess is nearly impossible.

On on the other hand, think of all the people you have helped- either to survive or through their grief. Stay strong and best of luck in finding your way through this bump in the road.

[Otters27]

Hang in there man. You have dedicated your life to helping others. Not many can say that. In the end however you must take care of numero uno.

[USCPHILLYGUY]

Don't know how you do it brother but THANK YOU

just left the viewing of a friends 19 year old daughter. Went to sleep at night and never woke up. just not natural for a parent to bury their child. Rough day

[The Giant]

[ACoochy]

Cooch...just because you posted a vid showing that you're chubby, bald and middle-aged...doesn't actually make you a "somebody" on here. You dig?

Sorry to hear your down, Krak. I can only imagine. Stay strong, my friend.

SBR's resident roley poley checking in

Hey overweight88 show us another pic of you wearing a tucked out buttoned shirt you pork barreled fat fukk...

JV overweight88 pissed as time has passed him by and feels like hes stuck in a rut when he could be out exploring the world and having new experiences...

I smell modlife crisis all over this guy

Overweight88 we'll be looking for the new sportscar vid soon pal

[ACoochy]

What do you have against The Cootch?
Do you hate all foreigners or just the Non European ones?
That's racist.

Fat fukk is from Texas...

What do you think??

[KVB]

Good stuff in here Kraken...especially reminding you of the you good moments, the successful ones, that you were a part of.

I hope all is well.

[frostno98]

Too many dumb Jack@sses on SBR, this is not a place where you should expect empathy from. Coroner's, Funeral Directors, you have to be born into those jobs because very few are emotionally capable of doing it.

[Killer_Demo]

guys on tilt here

If you do not like something move one

Complaining does no good or gets you anywhere

Yup, if you dont like you're job, move on and find a different line of work.

[gauchojake]

Insert poor taste joke here...

[rkelly110]

Krack man! Stay strong pal!

Sometimes writing down your troubles helps immensely. I hope it helped. Just remember, death is a part of life.
If it gets too hot in the kitchen, you know what to do.

[The Kraken]

It was McDonalds

Thats what ended up being for dinner

Had yesterday off, hit up a nice hike, brought the dogs and we just kept going until we couldn't go any further, just what I needed.

Thank you all for the responses. I've read and re-read them, and many of them are pearls, great great advice and I can't say thanks enough. Thank you all for the support.

To be clear for Frosty, I wasn't looking for empathy or sympathy, I was just writing out my thoughts and how I felt because I had no where else to go with them.

Trobin, last week we placed 12 Impellas and a TandemHeart.

I've never cared less about going 0-3 in a single day

Time to make some of that back

[turtlejc]

For you? Straight bullet to the head