It has come to my attention that "No one can touch my arms or my cock" is the equivalent to any line muttered by Mel Gibson in Braveheart. For this reason I have compiled a top ten list of things said to JJ before he muttered such a tremendously inspirational line.
10. (Said by Chris Hanson from Dateline) "So you told her that you are hung like a black man in 1950's Alabama"?
9. JJ that isn't Vaseline Suntan lotion, that's Nair! where did you rub that?
8. (** Hammer to JJ) I told you, you can't touch this, what can I not touch?
7. (In Mexico before a chicken fight) You have a lovely rooster there Senor JJ, may I.......
6. (In the doctors office after a round of intense probing) JJ, the anal swab has proved inconclusive, may we go somewhere a little more evasive?
5. (The Bike molester from the infamous Different Strokes "Special Episode") We have played Tarzan, we have watched cartoons of naked mice, is there anything you will not let me do with you?
4. (Bill Clinton) C'mon JJ, Monica lets me touch hers all the time?
3. (David Blaine mulling ideas for a trick in which JJ abstains from releasing) "How about this one JJ, I put you in a room with a bunch of Playboy playmates and you are on a Viagara IV drip"?
2. ( Arnold in Pumping Iron, the outtakes) JJ I see you have been loading up on steroids. You are no girlie man, but what about your peenaaas, it looks like a Nazi Jungen grew between your thighs!!
1. (Any SBR member) JJ, is there any contest you wouldn't lose?
10. (Said by Chris Hanson from Dateline) "So you told her that you are hung like a black man in 1950's Alabama"?
9. JJ that isn't Vaseline Suntan lotion, that's Nair! where did you rub that?
8. (** Hammer to JJ) I told you, you can't touch this, what can I not touch?
7. (In Mexico before a chicken fight) You have a lovely rooster there Senor JJ, may I.......
6. (In the doctors office after a round of intense probing) JJ, the anal swab has proved inconclusive, may we go somewhere a little more evasive?
5. (The Bike molester from the infamous Different Strokes "Special Episode") We have played Tarzan, we have watched cartoons of naked mice, is there anything you will not let me do with you?
4. (Bill Clinton) C'mon JJ, Monica lets me touch hers all the time?
3. (David Blaine mulling ideas for a trick in which JJ abstains from releasing) "How about this one JJ, I put you in a room with a bunch of Playboy playmates and you are on a Viagara IV drip"?
2. ( Arnold in Pumping Iron, the outtakes) JJ I see you have been loading up on steroids. You are no girlie man, but what about your peenaaas, it looks like a Nazi Jungen grew between your thighs!!
1. (Any SBR member) JJ, is there any contest you wouldn't lose?
