http://www.sbrforum.com/Betting+Arti...ah-humbug.aspx
Spirit of Christmas Preaent: So! Is your heart still unmoved towards us, then?
Ebenezer: I'm too old and beyond hope! Go and redeem some younger, more promising creature, and leave me to keep Christmas in my own way!
The Holidays bring out the best in most people, but not me. I happen to be a modern day Scrooge. Everything about Christmas annoys me. From the commercialism and the demand to spend time with family that I would rather not see, to the absence of snow down here in Florida, it all irritates me terribly. Then last year, I found a way to appreciate Christmas more.
I make it all about me, throwing others’ opinions of me out the window. I am not trying to promote this behavior, as it comes off as quite sociopathic, but it works for me. I have implemented some time-tested quotes from Ebenezer himself to help tell of my plans.
Ebenezer: Bob, I haven't taken leave of my senses. I've come to them.
I’m sure my family isn’t thrilled that I have decided to avoid the holiday festivities. I also know that I’m extremely fortunate that my wife’s family all live out of state. They would make every effort to convince her that I was the second coming of Drew Peterson if I ever kept her from their Christmas gatherings. It’s probably best that I keep my true plans secret.
I left Santa Claus milk and cookies, and in return he gave me a bowl game on the evening of Christmas Eve. Perhaps the milk was spoiled a bit, as it certainly is not the most riveting matchup. But it’s still football, and I’ll certainly find an angle to wager on it. Notre Dame plays Hawaii in Honolulu in the Hawaii Bowl at 8 PM. I don’t claim to be an authority on these teams by any means, but I know that The Irish got pummeled all year long. They are 2-point favorites in what will basically be like a home game for Hawaii. I’m thinking that Notre Dame extends their bowl losing streak to 10 games.
Ebenezer: [to the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come] I am standing in the presence of the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come? And you're going to show me the shadows of things that have not yet happened but will happen? Spirit of the Future, I fear you more than any spectre I have met tonight! But even in my fear, I must say that I am too old! I cannot change! I cannot! It's not that I'm impenitent, it's just... Wouldn't it be better if I just went home to bed?
[pause]
Ebenezer: No? Well, very well. Lead on.
This game will lead us to almost midnight here on the east coast. Normal thinking folks will be heading home and getting some sleep for the next day’s festivities. Not us. We will be heading to the local casino. If it’s anything like last year, it will be surprisingly busy. I never realized there were so many others out there like me. These people didn’t care one bit when midnight strikes. They just wanted the next hand dealt, the next spin, the next cocktail. I felt at home and I’ll be back there tonight for a full evening of poker and blackjack.
Ebenezer: Well, then, I'll just swallow this and be tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It's all HUMBUG, I tell you, HUMBUG!
Given my horrible luck at casinos, I will probably be a little lighter in the pocket. You can use your imagination and replace “Humbug” with any number of other colorful expletives.
Alice: May you be happy in the life you've chosen.
Young Ebenezer Scrooge: [angrily] Thank you! I shall be!
Sure, it’s unconventional, but I’m enjoying it. And I’m just getting started. Once I finally make it home at whatever ungodly hour on Christmas day, there are five NBA games on TV beginning at noon. They have been scheduled so that the next one begins just as the previous one is ending. Time to triple my bonus!
Forget about the reindeer…On Hornets, on Celtics, on Wizards and Blazers!
Ebenezer: Waiter! More bread.
Waiter: Ha'penny extra, sir.
Ebenezer: [pauses] No more bread.
Hopefully Bread has ha’penny left after this adventure. Happy Holidays and good luck.
Spirit of Christmas Preaent: So! Is your heart still unmoved towards us, then?
Ebenezer: I'm too old and beyond hope! Go and redeem some younger, more promising creature, and leave me to keep Christmas in my own way!
The Holidays bring out the best in most people, but not me. I happen to be a modern day Scrooge. Everything about Christmas annoys me. From the commercialism and the demand to spend time with family that I would rather not see, to the absence of snow down here in Florida, it all irritates me terribly. Then last year, I found a way to appreciate Christmas more.
Ebenezer “Bread” Scrooge
I make it all about me, throwing others’ opinions of me out the window. I am not trying to promote this behavior, as it comes off as quite sociopathic, but it works for me. I have implemented some time-tested quotes from Ebenezer himself to help tell of my plans.
Ebenezer: Bob, I haven't taken leave of my senses. I've come to them.
I’m sure my family isn’t thrilled that I have decided to avoid the holiday festivities. I also know that I’m extremely fortunate that my wife’s family all live out of state. They would make every effort to convince her that I was the second coming of Drew Peterson if I ever kept her from their Christmas gatherings. It’s probably best that I keep my true plans secret.
I left Santa Claus milk and cookies, and in return he gave me a bowl game on the evening of Christmas Eve. Perhaps the milk was spoiled a bit, as it certainly is not the most riveting matchup. But it’s still football, and I’ll certainly find an angle to wager on it. Notre Dame plays Hawaii in Honolulu in the Hawaii Bowl at 8 PM. I don’t claim to be an authority on these teams by any means, but I know that The Irish got pummeled all year long. They are 2-point favorites in what will basically be like a home game for Hawaii. I’m thinking that Notre Dame extends their bowl losing streak to 10 games.
Ebenezer: [to the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come] I am standing in the presence of the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come? And you're going to show me the shadows of things that have not yet happened but will happen? Spirit of the Future, I fear you more than any spectre I have met tonight! But even in my fear, I must say that I am too old! I cannot change! I cannot! It's not that I'm impenitent, it's just... Wouldn't it be better if I just went home to bed?
[pause]
Ebenezer: No? Well, very well. Lead on.
This game will lead us to almost midnight here on the east coast. Normal thinking folks will be heading home and getting some sleep for the next day’s festivities. Not us. We will be heading to the local casino. If it’s anything like last year, it will be surprisingly busy. I never realized there were so many others out there like me. These people didn’t care one bit when midnight strikes. They just wanted the next hand dealt, the next spin, the next cocktail. I felt at home and I’ll be back there tonight for a full evening of poker and blackjack.
Ebenezer: Well, then, I'll just swallow this and be tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It's all HUMBUG, I tell you, HUMBUG!
Given my horrible luck at casinos, I will probably be a little lighter in the pocket. You can use your imagination and replace “Humbug” with any number of other colorful expletives.
Bah, humbug
Alice: May you be happy in the life you've chosen.
Young Ebenezer Scrooge: [angrily] Thank you! I shall be!
Sure, it’s unconventional, but I’m enjoying it. And I’m just getting started. Once I finally make it home at whatever ungodly hour on Christmas day, there are five NBA games on TV beginning at noon. They have been scheduled so that the next one begins just as the previous one is ending. Time to triple my bonus!
Forget about the reindeer…On Hornets, on Celtics, on Wizards and Blazers!
Ebenezer: Waiter! More bread.
Waiter: Ha'penny extra, sir.
Ebenezer: [pauses] No more bread.
Hopefully Bread has ha’penny left after this adventure. Happy Holidays and good luck.
