Funniest email I ever got wtfff

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  • SBRMAN23
    SBR Hall of Famer
    • 01-07-11
    • 6906

    #1
    Funniest email I ever got wtfff
    I have never paid for picks so don't know why I'm getting this spam shit in my email but I thought it would get a good chuckle out a few ppl read this shit haha



    GUARANTEED PARLAY or 1 YEAR FREE


    WTF? Does that say GUARANTEED Parlay or 1 YEAR of picks free? Hell yeah, player! It’s a motherfucking $1,000 to win $24,359 NBA Parlay! You know you’re thinking “oh penetrate – I am already living the dream, all I need is some more CASH in my pocket and I will be set yo!” Well, alright then, Chumley, we got just the thing to satisfy that craving. This ain’t no short-ass, little-boy, “bet $1000 and win $1500” bullshit 2-team parlay – this honkey is a motherfucking 5 Team parlay. Trading in small bills for BIG bills player!


    Why would you want our picks if we lose this parlay? We won't miss but if we do try to remember that, you bet sports and you most likely aren't as good as we are at winning! We obviously ball out, just look at our record homeslice! Think about it, it makes sense!


    Ok, so why are we telling you about it? Because your young, your dumb and you need to have fun! We can't have you losing all your dough on bad picks! That is the last thing we want! And we can't have you staying up all night studying lines either! You got better shit to do with your time big baller, let us worry about that madness! Now that you are in, let me ask you this, who is going to be buying drinks for you whole crew tomorrow night, like a boss? You, you dumbass! You know how your silly ass gets when you have a pocket full of money! Don't front.


    So now you are thinking, HOW THE HELL DO YOU BET THE LINES? Easy. Go to your local sports book with the picks we give you, and then you tell them how much you want to throw down. It’s easy! IDIOTS do this shit at bars all the time! It’s penetrating simple.


    FULL DISCLOSURE: One of the five plays could lose on some bullshit or something. Don't worry about that shit. We are betting all the games straight so we are going to make money regardless. We ain’t gonna lead you astray. But have no fear, this parlay is the shit, we are just playing the games straight to make even more money off of it. Your gain bitch!


    What the shit do you have to do to get this BIGASS, awesome parlay that will bring a boatload of cash into your possession?


    EASY SHIT. CHECK IT.


    STEP ONE: Be smart enough to realize that you NEED this shit because you do!


    STEP TWO: Scroll down to the PayPal Button below! It is a PayPal Button kid. Use your head. It is not hard to find!


    STEP THREE: Pay us $25 in cold, hard cash! Look, you can find other handicappers on Web for like $100-750 a week and those bitches aren't even good! One guy on Pregame is actually DOWN MONEY for the year and he is still selling plays. penetrate THAT WILD SHIT. I’m not trying to make billions off this thing. I just want a player like you to have some cash in their pocket to do whatever the hell they want, and I want some money to make it happen. We all win.


    If you really want the thing, but are afraid it will lose, I am promising compensation. I’m a reasonable man and I am saying that if this parlay loses, you will get 1 YEAR of Picks FREE. Here is the thing bossman, we are playing all the picks straight too so even if 2 picks lose, you still make money AND you get 1 Year of plays FREE! Why the penetrate would you NOT do this?


    The choice is yours, buy this parlay and instantly transform your self into the boss of all bosses or blow your $25 on weed and beer. Your friends and family want this and so do you! Seriously, Chums. Your friends are counting on you.


    Don’t penetrate this up








    Free Picks For Today
  • zeusky
    SBR Wise Guy
    • 12-10-09
    • 622

    #2
    The language seems familiar. Don't trust this shit man. He is 2-12 his last 14 picks and his last two life time guarantee picks bombed...which means some of us are guaranteed a lifetime of fade from this clown......don't waste your money
    Comment
    • ThreeRsports
      SBR MVP
      • 01-05-11
      • 1170

      #3
      Wow! That is great. Couple things: I think my favorite part was "or blow your $25 on weed and beer..." I would actually buy this deal JUST to see what games they had....third, did you get this today? There were 2 nba games today lol...good stuff! Thanks for the giggle!
      Comment
      • Meega
        SBR Sharp
        • 03-13-12
        • 467

        #4
        these assholes (forums) sell your email address that you used to sign up to touts.

        if you include a mobile phone number when you sign up with any of these forums you'll get texts from these scumbag touts too.
        Comment
        • trap
          SBR Wise Guy
          • 08-23-09
          • 665

          #5
          Originally posted by Meega
          these assholes (forums) sell your email address that you used to sign up to touts.

          if you include a mobile phone number when you sign up with any of these forums you'll get texts from these scumbag touts too.
          yep>>>
          Comment
          • Rob7168
            SBR MVP
            • 10-01-10
            • 2313

            #6
            ***** pleeez......
            Comment
            • Britton333
              SBR Wise Guy
              • 03-01-12
              • 713

              #7
              Originally posted by zeusky
              The language seems familiar. Don't trust this shit man. He is 2-12 his last 14 picks and his last two life time guarantee picks bombed...which means some of us are guaranteed a lifetime of fade from this clown......don't waste your money
              Thanks for the advice... I was TOTALLY gonna do it.

              Comment
              • SamDiamond
                SBR Hall of Famer
                • 10-19-12
                • 6107

                #8
                "homeslice"



                Picks, brought to you by-----

                Comment
                • SBRMAN23
                  SBR Hall of Famer
                  • 01-07-11
                  • 6906

                  #9
                  What made it funny is his language and way he talks all cocky n shit lmao I was never going to buy anything like I said I never do just thought y'all would get a good laugh out of it
                  Comment
                  • King Mayan
                    SBR Posting Legend
                    • 09-22-10
                    • 21326

                    #10
                    Wtf sbrman??

                    It took me 10 minutes to write that email, and you laugh at it????

                    Not cool man.
                    Comment
                    • cant call it
                      SBR Hall of Famer
                      • 08-29-10
                      • 8817

                      #11
                      do the right thing, pay the $25 and let us all know what the picks are.
                      We can pay you in SBR points, which is just as good as money.
                      Comment
                      • cant call it
                        SBR Hall of Famer
                        • 08-29-10
                        • 8817

                        #12
                        Yo taxer are you still keeping it real up there in glenview heights playa?

                        Hows dem dogs doing?
                        Comment
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