The Beaver

[betplom]

Todays topic is the beaver:


Not this Beaver:


or this one:

[betplom]

Beavers are known for their natural trait of building dams in rivers and streams, and building their homes (known as beaver lodges) in the resulting pond. Beavers also build canals to float build materials that are difficult to haul over land. They use powerful front teeth to cut trees and plants that they use for building and for food.

[bmw530i]

hahahahahahah got damn I love this guy

[betplom]

Beavers are known for their "danger signal": when startled or frightened, a swimming beaver will rapidly dive while forcefully slapping the water with its broad tail. This creates a loud "slap", audible over large distances above and below water. This noise serves as a warning to beavers in the area. Once a beaver has made this danger signal, nearby beavers dive and may not reemerge for some time. Beavers are slow on land, but good swimmers that can stay under water for as long as 15 minutes.

[Richkas]

I like Bald Beavers the best.

[betplom]

"Beaver" has different meaning for some:

1. A large furry rodent with a flat tail that chops down trees and builds dams.

2. Slang for a vagina.

3. A term for a person who goes/has gone to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where the beaver is the school mascot.


1. "We went on a nature walk, and saw a beaver swimming around the big lodge it had made."

2. "That chick I banged last night has a sweet beaver!"

3. "The Beavers put another car on top of the dome this morning..."

[LT Profits]

Best line from the TV series was when the mom once said to the dad, "Weren't you a little too rough on the Beaver last night?"

[pico]

so you taken my suggestion.

you should do a thread on gerbals next.

[betplom]

so you taken my suggestion.

you should do a thread on gerbals next.

You mean gerbils.

Pico, one request per year per poster. No more requests until late 2009 for you.

[Richkas]

Best line from the TV series was when the mom once said to the dad, "Weren't you a little too rough on the Beaver last night?"

[bmw530i]

Professor Plommer,
(raises hand) uh mm..Are the Bactrian Camel-toes part of the beaver family sir?

[Mudcat]

The Beaver is an official, national symbol of Canada. Some people find it inappropriate since they can be reasonably seen as nothing but pesky, troublesome rodents.

However the comedy material is just too strong so the beaver remains.

[betplom]

Professor Plommer,
(raises hand) uh mm..Are the Bactrian Camel-toes part of the beaver family sir?

Perhaps not, but the mods here at sbr will promptly delete authentic female genitalia photos.
I had to substitute a camel toe for a real beaver shot.

I hope god can forgive me.

[bmw530i]

I understand professor. I loved both before and after photos.

[betplom]

I just remembered this one:


Q: What's orange & black and goes 100 mph?

A: Beaver in a blender.

[betplom]

A 90 year old man is having his annual check-up.

The doctor asks him how he is doing.

"I've never been better!" he replies. "I have an 18 year old bride who is pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers this for a moment and then says: "Well, let me tell you a story:

I know a guy who is an avid hunter.
He never misses a season.
But one day, he is in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So, he walks in the woods near a creek and he spots a beaver in some brush in front of him.
He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle.
*BAM*, the beaver drops dead in front of him.

"That's impossible!", says the old man in disbelief.

"Someone else must have shot that beaver!"

"Exactly!"

[betplom]

Why Do Oregon State Fans Wear Orange?

So they can go to the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage on the side of the road the rest of the week.

[bmw530i]

haha

[betplom]

Scoring Beaver

[pico]

i give that beaver a 10

[betplom]

After the early Europeans explorers had realized that Canada was not the spice-rich Orient, the main mercantile attraction was the beaver population numbering in the millions. In the late 1600s and early 1700s, the fashion of the day demanded fur hats, which needed beaver pelts. As these hats became more popular, the demand for the pelts grew.

[Mudcat]

There is a well-known expression, busy as a beaver.

I question it. I realize beavers have to work for food and shelter - but don't all species? Why is the beaver centered out as the definition of being busy.

I have been around beavers many times and, more often than not, they are just having a recreational swim or just laying around like lazy fart-abouts, not doing much of anything.

I'm just saying.

[betplom]

The beaver was close to extinction by the mid-19th century.

There were an estimated six million beavers in Canada before the start of the fur trade.

During its peak, 100,000 pelts were being shipped to Europe each year; the Canadian beaver was in danger of being wiped out.

Luckily, about that time, Europeans took a liking to silk hats and the demand for beaver pelts all but disappeared.

[Casperwaits]

Beavers are known for their "danger signal": when startled or frightened, a swimming beaver will rapidly dive while forcefully slapping the water with its broad tail. This creates a loud "slap", audible over large distances above and below water. This noise serves as a warning to beavers in the area. Once a beaver has made this danger signal, nearby beavers dive and may not reemerge for some time. Beavers are slow on land, but good swimmers that can stay under water for as long as 15 minutes.

I only have one story today. Picture this. July 1993. New York City. The place, the local public pool in the East Village. I come across this "girl" (let's call her Shanekwa) smacking her budunkadunk against the chloronated water as if she had a ravaging case of the herp. My friends at the time took this to be a mating signal, and went head first into the water to find out what all the slapping was about. One of my friends Albino Al, had this preexisiting condition that if he got wet his throat would close up. Not one to shy away from a mating call, Al dove in. Well as Shanekwa made her move for Albino Al in the pool, Al began to cough and froth at the mouth. As we all got nervous for Al, Shanekwa saw our friend was in danger and began to alleviate his allergy, not with an epipen or antibiotics, but with her mouth. Shanekwas LOVED to fellate. Much like the beaver, she stayed underwater for a goof 10 minutes giving Al an experience his future mail order bride Kiki couldn't even duplicate. The moral of this story is if you see a big tail woman smacking her ass against water, chances are she will give you head that you will remember for a lifetime. That and she can tread water.

[Robyn]

That's a pretty thick hot pocket.

[betplom]

That's a pretty thick hot pocket.

Thick =

[tacomax]

That's a pretty thick hot pocket.

You might like this one. I do.

[pico]

beaver tourist

[Poker_Beast]

I like Bald Beavers the best.

[betplom]

bump

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