Interviewer: What did you think of the 2010 playoffs?
Stern: Our marketing research showed us a Lakers repeat would maximize revenues going forward so we arranged it.
Interviewer: Are you talking about the free throw parade in the fourth quarter of game 7?
Stern: Joey Crawford reffed three games in the finals and the Lakers won all three. The only problem is that the fourth quarter of game 7 was so blatent that even some of our typical brain dead fans are figuring out what's going on.
Interviewer: What are you gonna do about that?
Stern: We're gonna have a training camp this summer to teach our refs how to fix games more effectively.
Interviewer: How will this Lakers championship help the league?
Stern: Phil Jackson will return and the Lakers will go for a three peat. That's worth millions in hype alone.
Interviewer: Were you pleased with how the playoffs turned out?
Stern: The finals were perfect drama, as good as any other reality TV show. There were too many sweeps this year however. We'll be implementing a no sweep policy starting next season.
Interviewer: Where do you want James to go?
Stern: We've determined a Wade-James-Bosh dream team from Miami losing in 6 or 7 games to the Lakers going for a three peat will be a ratings bonanza.
Interviewer: Isn't it a little unfair that you've already determined the winner?
Stern: The Heat dream team will get revenge and beat the Lakers in 6 or 7 games in 2012.
Interviewer: That sounds interesting.
Stern: Yeah, don't get me wrong. We like to be fair as long as it doesn't hurt the bottom line.
