NBA All Star Game Bread-Chris Brown Interview

[Bread]

http://www.sbrforum.com/Betting+Articles/NBA/10263/bread-chris-brown-take-the-nba-all-stars.aspx

This is always an awkward time for me. You know that period immediately following football, but not quite baseball season yet, and March Madness is just teasing you as it looms in the near future? Yea that time right there. I’m in it. As a result of this, I will be looking for action on an All-Star game for the second consecutive week.

The NBA will hold its All-Star Game on Sunday evening. A few people had mentioned that last week’s Pro-Bowl piece might’ve been a little too dated for some of my younger readers. So I asked my young niece if she knew who Magnum, Tattoo and Jack Lord were. She replied “Shorties from the A-T-L?” I don’t even know what that means. Point taken. I’m old.

I decided that I need to branch out. I want to transcend generations. I have done just that, as I have landed none other than Chris Brown to help me out here. He’s young, he’s hip, he’s good looking, he sings and dances like a modern day Ricky Ricardo! Brown fits the image of the NBA, as he was even slated to perform in a celebrity basketball game and help announce the teams with Shaq as part of the opening festivities. Brown has agreed to insert color commentary using actual lyrics from his songs. LET’S GO!

Time to beat the…uh… books

Bread: Hi Chris Brown! It’s great to have you here. I heard you had to pull out of the All-Star Game hoopla. What happened?

Brown: You know
Sometimes you don't realize what you've done
Until you've seen the damage
And now I look at the damage

Unreal. You beat your girl, didn’t you? You beat Rihanna and now you’re stuck with me instead of hanging out with Shaq. Am I right?

OOh girl, Baby I just cant believe,
That everytime you come around,
I start loosin my breath,
Im trippin ova myself,
Cuz u hittin me,hittin me,
Oh Oh Oh girl
Baby its so plain to see,
That u got the best of me,

Wow. Well let’s talk business here. The West is favored by 4.5 over the East for Sunday’s game. What are your thoughts?

For a minute can you just think about us two?
Swervin in my 645 SU, me leanin over the seat.
I'm passin you your own set of keys, showin you just how the team got you.
Trust and believe these words, from me been said before.
Trickin ain't my M-O.But girl you represent everything,
That Chris is about so shawty please.
Shawty tell me why you tryna keep all the goodies from me?
Can't you see what you holding me, that does to me.
Everytime you walk pass, oh.

OK I can see we’re not going to get anywhere here. Let me start. These games are mostly a big show for the fans, and pretty hard to predict as far as a capping advantage, obviously. But I have to say that right off the bat, that West lineup kinda jumps off the page. Looks pretty explosive. Your thoughts?

Get on this investment cuz if you bet on me
Then we can go anywhere in love it's nothing
If I leave a message I hope that it comes through
Let me know, if I'm the one girl

Riiight. But I still don’t know who you’re backing. Let’s just talk about some of the players and the year that they are having. First off, Shaq and Stoudemire will be playing in front of a home crowd. That has to be one more reason to consider backing the West here, right?

Baby girl, gotta tell you
Seen you somewhere before, You look familiar
You had a red shirt, Dickie slacks, and a Gucci bag to match it
Tell me you remember that baby girl, but lady never mind that

Exactly. Speaking of Shaq, I’d say that between him and Iverson, we have two players in this game based solely on namesake and reputation. They hardly resemble the dominant stars that they used to be.

I gotta give em up,
My playin days is ova,

Well, yeah, sometime soon for sure. They can still compete, it’s just always sad to watch the great ones get older.

So why is you hatin my anatomy?
Its Bird like (yeah)
You heard right
Girl I’m the king so that means I’m flyyy (awwww ruff)

I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Bird retired almost 20 years ago. Calm down. Sticking with the West, how about the resiliency of Tim Duncan? The guy is still putting up big numbers on a championship caliber team. I look for big things from him in this game.

To the haters who bought it thanks a lot
Remember sayin I’m a
One hit wonder
That’s gonna flop
Five singles later and I'm still on top
Going platinum
The first week it dropped
I might pause but I'll never stop
No
Prince of R n B and hip hop

At the rate he’s playing he might just get five rings. Guy is amazing. I see you mentioned flopping there. That would be a couple of his teammates who have that reputation, not Duncan. How about Tony Parker coming off the bench for the West?

Girl, I bet that he be actin' all cocky like
Like he deserve you, and you so lucky to be with him
Bet he be treatin' you rude always got an attitude
Like he's the only dude made for you, woah

Chris Brown, after this latest episode, I’m pretty sure that you have zero chance with Eva Longoria. Sorry.

Somebody tell me what I was supposed 2 do,
You put my back against the ropes,
No choice but to unfold,
I gotta give it to u baby,

I hear ya. Moving on. I’m a big fan of Hornets guard Chris Paul. I think he could get that West offense moving down the court throughout the game.

C to the H to the R.I.S.
I know you like it mama just say yes
And if you didn't know now you know
I’m a pro and I can go on & on & on & on
C to the H to the R.I.S.

Chris likes Chris

So you agree with me then? Kid is dynamite, isn’t he?

Is ya man on the flo?
If he ain't...
Let me know
Let me see if you can r, run it
Girl indeed I can run it, run it

Exactly. Fast break points galore. Let’s move over to the East for a bit. The big three from the Celtics are all represented in Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Ya make me feel like a winner girl I wanna say, (whoa whoa whoa)
Let me put my hands around your waist while tha background say (whoa whoa whoa)

I have to agree with you here. Sporting a halfway record of 44-11, the reigning champion Celtics certainly have that winner swagger about them once again. Do you think that East coach Mike Brown will have the three of them in the game together often? Their chemistry could definitely be an advantage.

I'm tryna get one of them ballers
but they keep coming from wall to wall
They up in here
wall to wall (wooh yeah)

True, they would be coming at you from all sides. Once again though, I don’t trust Mike Brown to make a correct coaching call ever. Why would he start now? It’s amazing to see the international talent on showcase for this game now. Back when I was big into the NBA, it wasn’t like this. We now have Yao Ming, Dirk Nowitzki, Pau Gasol and Tony Parker all representing faraway lands. I think it adds an interesting element to the game.

Have you ever traveled upon a yacht
Sail across the ocean (girl picture that)
Tell me have you ever seen the stars

You’re pretty horny, aren’t you?

Here we are all alone in this room (oh)
And girl I know where to start and what we gonna do (yeah)

Unreal. You know, Chris Brown, there are five guys from the All Defensive Teams last year in this game, so you have to put them into consideration as well. Garnett, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Paul and Duncan will not be allowing anyone to score unattested, even though it’s an exhibition game.

Be the guy shuttin' down all the fellas (fellas, yeah)

Round 2, It aint a thing,
I was movin everywhere u move,
Bobbin and weavin,
Like ur young boy was supposed to do,
It seemed like only yesterday,
When we did it,
Now u on me like a fitted,



Well that was a little graphic. You know who I’m not a fan of? Dwyane Wade. It has nothing to do with his playing abilities. Did you catch the email that was going around of his mansion and all the paintings that he has of himself on the walls?? How bizarre. That, and those commercials that he did with Charles Barkley really annoyed me.

Put me on your screensaver, all over your Myspace and
Make me one of your five favorites, that’s where I wanna be

You feelin me dawg. Did I say that right??

You don’t have to worry,
Baby we got forever to keep it crunk,

Willie Bee will be proud. I thought it was good to finally see Mo Williams in this game. Many thought it was a farce when he wasn’t named initially. It then took not one, but TWO East injuries to get him there.

If you choose me (Girl I promise)
If you choose (I'll be honest)
If you choose me (Won't abuse it)
If you choose me
And if you choose me
And if you choose
And if you choose me
And if you choose (I'mma love you)

This is going worse than the Letterman-Phoenix interview at this point. Paul’s teammate, David West, will be coming off the bench to provide a spark. I think this helps the West out as well.

Uh...Mr. West is in the building
Children, Ladiesssss
Call the shrink up, they about to go crazy
Hold your drinks up, like you was celebrating
Hold your guns, if they is hella hating

JJ Gold will not be happy to hear that. I think that guy owes him $400. Plus, I’m pretty sure that the NBA had its fill of guns during the Vegas weekend. You know what gets under my skin? All of the product placement that will be going on. Did you know that Nike alone has ten guys on these two rosters under endorsement? Including Kobe and LeBron – Only two of the hugest stars in the world!

Grab your remote, for the reason they made TIVO
Snap your Nikon's with the icons with Nike's on
I heard you like to do it with the lights on
But I really make babies when the mic’s on

You’re going to miss your endorsement money, aren’t you beater?

‘Cuz we only got one night
Double your pleasure
Double your fun

Give it up. It’s done. Alright final thoughts. I’m definitely taking the West as a favorite. Who do you like Chris Brown??

East coat I wanna thank you

West coast (uh huh)

I wanna thank you

So many look good in here (so good)


I just don’t know which one I want (I want)


If I had to choose y’all know (you know)


I would take all y’all with me


Who wanna try me on the floor


Who ready to come and get this (get this)


All I know is that I’m feeling this party


And you can see I’m so pretty

Get on this investment cuz if you bet on me


Then we can go anywhere in love it's nothing


If I leave a message I hope that it comes through


Let me know, if I'm the one girl

Be honest, you’re using this interview to try to get back with Rihanna, aren’t you?

I wish I had one more chance,


One more chance to tell you, Baby I know better, cause now I see that you are the girl(one more chance),


One more chance to show you,


How much I still love you,

Her name is not ‘Books’

Save it for the Judge. I honestly hate you. Your music stinks. GO WEST! I’m out.

Jack Lord: I hate him too.

The two of us are over,


But I'm not sure if I'm over you,