[The Kraken]

As I get older, my job gets to me more. For the longest time I was able to separate work and life, it was easy. Someone died, I moved on. I scraped my first dead teenager off I-40 in OKC in 2001. In 2003 I transported my first dead child to an ER knowing nothing could be done. The next night, I transported my second dead child to the same ER, knowing again that there was little hope. But we worked as hard as we could. The next day, I had moved on, it's how I coped. It's how I've managed to make it this long.

The last 15 years of my life have spent perfecting my craft, so that when I have nights like tonight, I can go home and know that there was nothing else I could've done. From my perspective, everything went smooth, he had chest pain so I managed it, he couldn't breathe so I got respiratory therapy involved, when he quit breathing, he barely missed a breath before I was ventilating him, when he lost his heart beat, he barely missed a beat before I shocked him and started CPR. I was just talking to him 30 minutes before asking him what his kids names were. It was just 30 minutes ago I told his wife I would take care of him, that he was in the best hands. He was just 48 years old. Ten years ago, I'd be out right now with friends, already moved. Now I'm paralyzed thinking of how his wife broke down when I told her that he was dead, how she trusted us to make him better, how he had no choice but to go along with what we were doing because he was having a heart attack, how his kids weren't there to see there father once more.

For the fifth time this week, I've had to tell a family that their loved one died. That we did all we could, that the doctor involved is a world class physician that wrote the books, that is broadcast all over the world because he's so fukking good.

So here I sit, my pager next to me, staring at me. I know it will go off again soon, and I'll be called in for another heart attack, or heart failure so bad that we'll put in a special pump that only a handful of hospitals in the world can put in. I know the odds will be stacked against that patient as well, and I'll tell that family that they're in the best possible hands because I believe it with all my being, and that I'll take the best possible care of them.

And my wife wants to know whats for dinner

[Dirty Sanchez]

Greasy Pork Sandwich and a dirty ash tray

[FlipsideRM]

What's the best way to prevent a heart attack at a young age like mid twenties? Heart attacks are so scary

[Dirty Sanchez]

What's the best way to prevent a heart attack at a young age like mid twenties? Heart attacks are so scary

For you? Straight bullet to the head

[FlipsideRM]

For you? Straight bullet to the head

you ever posted anything of value on here or is it always memes that aren't ever funny? I've always wondered

[Dirty Sanchez]

you ever posted anything of value on here or is it always memes that aren't ever funny? I've always wondered

No..when I need a laugh I look for your picks

[jtoler]

Wow, crazy bro, dont see how you do it, have some questions for you but now doesnt seem like the time, hope you find the strength you had when you started again.

[The Kraken]

What's the best way to prevent a heart attack at a young age like mid twenties? Heart attacks are so scary

Don't smoke

Don't get diabetes

Beyond that, pick your parents wisely

[The Kraken]

It's fine Toler, probably be a nice distraction right now to think about anything else

[FlipsideRM]

No..when I need a laugh I look for your picks

have you ever actually laughed though? Leave the meme game to kvb and diggity sir, you're material is very weak

[Dirty Sanchez]

have you ever actually laughed though? Leave the meme game to kvb and diggity sir, you're material is very weak

Whatever kid

[FlipsideRM]

Don't smoke

Don't get diabetes

Beyond that, pick your parents wisely

chewing tobacco? Bad habit I picked up playing baseball in high school...can't seem to knock it especially when I'm gambling. I work out often and do cardio though. Obviously I'm only mid twenties but whatever I can do to stay healthy for later in life I'm all for, heart attacks are no fuking joke

[TheMoneyShot]

WOW Krak. Damn. Sorry to hear this bro.

My best friend is a firefighter. He said his first year doing the job full time... he had more highway calls to put out car fires... than basically house fires. People strapped in the car... charred to death. He said... you're extinguishing the fire... and you can see the body inside the car. Nothing you can do.

He told me... you just get use to it because you see it practically every day.

I guess it's just part of the profession.

With so many people Krak... how can you save everyone's life? As long as you did your best.... that's all you can do.

[The Kraken]

It's more likely to lead to high blood pressure that if left untreated can contribute to heart failure over a long period of time

Flip none of us can live a perfect life. Even those that do eventually die, sometimes they die of heart attacks at 48 years old. They drink water, don't smoke, they run, eat broccoli, and their reward is that they die

Do what you enjoy and accept the consequences. You're gonna die, just like I am. Don't let it scare you, just do what you enjoy

[FlipsideRM]

Scary shit

[ACoochy]

Kraker you need to go home and write down a list of positive v negative and weigh up what you want to do from there.

Sounds like youve hit a in road pal and you gotta re-evaluate where you wanna be and where your passion lies...

[SBR Contests]

Hang in there Kraken

[The Kraken]

WOW Krak. Damn. Sorry to hear this bro.

My best friend is a firefighter. He said his first year doing the job full time... he had more highway calls to put out car fires... than basically house fires. People strapped in the car... charred to death. He said... you're extinguishing the fire... and you can see the body inside the car. Nothing you can do.

He told me... you just get use to it because you see it practically every day.

I guess it's just part of the profession.

With so many people Krak... how can you save everyone's life? As long as you did your best.... that's all you can do.

Yep, you do get used to it. I don't think though we appreciate the toll it takes on us to get used to it.

And then one day, you're not used to it anymore. And you just fukking cry.

I know I did all I could. I know I'm good at what I do. I know the doctor at his bedside is a world class physician. Every week we have doctors come in from all over the world to train with this guy.

But for whatever reason, tonight none of that matters. The guy is dead, and it hurts.

It finally fukking hurts

[KVB]

Kraken, let your wife read your post.

You are both at stage right now that mean both of you have needs...important needs. You are in this together.

Take care of each other and take care of yourself.

[bigtymer56]

chewing tobacco? Bad habit I picked up playing baseball in high school...can't seem to knock it especially when I'm gambling. I work out often and do cardio though. Obviously I'm only mid twenties but whatever I can do to stay healthy for later in life I'm all for, heart attacks are no fuking joke

Does gambling stress you out? Know all my bad habits increase when Im stressed.

[FlipsideRM]

So what is for dinner though?

[jjgold]

Krackles you drunk ?

[FlipsideRM]

Does gambling stress you out? Know all my bad habits increase when Im stressed.

Yep, when I'm at work I don't think about a dip. But I know right when I make a deposit I go straight to the store and get a can of dip for my gambling rendezvous while I'm watching the games. That and I drink a shit ton of caffeine when I'm not drinking booze

[Dirty Sanchez]

Kraker....all kidding aside you're doing the work that many could never do....it takes a special kind of person to handle that kind of arena I'm not sure how medical personnel do it day-to-day. Over in the desert I used to swing by the Clinic's to see them to thank them because of the work they do...incredible stuff. Just remember of the great work you're doing for people, because without you they don't even stand chance!

[The Kraken]

Thanks for the replies

It helps to get different perspectives, from all of you but especially guys I've got history with here

It also helps just to get it out. By nature, I rarely talk about my job, but this week has simply crushed me

[The Kraken]

Kraker....all kidding aside you're doing the work that many could never do....it takes a special kind of person to handle that kind of arena I'm not sure how medical personnel do it day-to-day. Over in the desert I used to swing by the Clinic's to see them to thank them because of the work they do...incredible stuff. Just remember of the great work you're doing for people, because without you they don't even stand chance!

Thanks DS, I truly appreciate your words tonight.

[KVB]

Thanks for the replies

It helps to get different perspectives, from all of you but especially guys I've got history with here

It also helps just to get it out. By nature, I rarely talk about my job, but this week has simply crushed me

Click this link and read it with your wife...

http://www.sportsbookreview.com/foru...l#post25234007

[No coincidences]

Damn, I thought you were going to talk about your 0-3 night in the NBA.

Sorry, man. I can only imagine.

[gauchojake]

Kraken, I hate to see your post because I can honestly feel how bad you feel for this family. You have a proven process that you followed and it failed. Not because the process is bad, but because that guy's ticket was punched. Nothing else you can do. You can run it back in your mind and improve in the future, but you cannot go back. Trust me I've tried...it doesn't work.

And now for the jokes...

Case Management, here we come!

Obv beef is what's for dinner

Just remember Kraken, you could be a hospice nurse.

[Rich Boy]

What do you do Kraken?

[KVB]

Kraken, I don't know you well, but I'll risk saying this...

You are going to be a father. You are extra protective for that reason and and this one hurts. Be conscious of the changes happening over then next month. They will affect ALL aspects of your life.

One thing I do know about you is that I likely don't need to tell you about life changing events and the effects on people.

Hang in there brother.

[klemopixx]

Humbled by what you've written here Kraken, you're a hell of a guy! I don't know if I could do what you do. Even knowing that you've done everything you can sometimes isn't enough to heal the pain of watching someone go. Maybe you've reached your limit on this, I'm sure it can't go on forever. God Bless You, I hope there are better days ahead for you, your wife and everyone around you.

[RickyRoma]

As I get older, my job gets to me more. For the longest time I was able to separate work and life, it was easy. Someone died, I moved on. I scraped my first dead teenager off I-40 in OKC in 2001. In 2003 I transported my first dead child to an ER knowing nothing could be done. The next night, I transported my second dead child to the same ER, knowing again that there was little hope. But we worked as hard as we could. The next day, I had moved on, it's how I coped. It's how I've managed to make it this long.

The last 15 years of my life have spent perfecting my craft, so that when I have nights like tonight, I can go home and know that there was nothing else I could've done. From my perspective, everything went smooth, he had chest pain so I managed it, he couldn't breathe so I got respiratory therapy involved, when he quit breathing, he barely missed a breath before I was ventilating him, when he lost his heart beat, he barely missed a beat before I shocked him and started CPR. I was just talking to him 30 minutes before asking him what his kids names were. It was just 30 minutes ago I told his wife I would take care of him, that he was in the best hands. He was just 48 years old. Ten years ago, I'd be out right now with friends, already moved. Now I'm paralyzed thinking of how his wife broke down when I told her that he was dead, how she trusted us to make him better, how he had no choice but to go along with what we were doing because he was having a heart attack, how his kids weren't there to see there father once more.

For the fifth time this week, I've had to tell a family that their loved one died. That we did all we could, that the doctor involved is a world class physician that wrote the books, that is broadcast all over the world because he's so fukking good.

So here I sit, my pager next to me, staring at me. I know it will go off again soon, and I'll be called in for another heart attack, or heart failure so bad that we'll put in a special pump that only a handful of hospitals in the world can put in. I know the odds will be stacked against that patient as well, and I'll tell that family that they're in the best possible hands because I believe it with all my being, and that I'll take the best possible care of them.

And my wife wants to know whats for dinner

Hurts my heart just reading this. May god bless you annd your patients feiend

[Biff41]

Krake- If you can stash some money away think about early retirement or career change.

[Chipup]

Kracken Pal,
it's always easy to let go when your helpless. When you know it's to late, or little chance. But when the check lists aren't there, and there is no reason for that guy to have checked out other than it was his time. It's then that you remember what real helplessness is, what it's really like to know nothing you could of done mattered.

I'm sure there are a number of ways you related to this guy that made it personal. But perhaps honestly it was just because as I said this time you were reminded we are all helpless and how that really feels when we want it to be otherwise.