1. #1
    Lowly Oaftard
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    Exploiting Rigged Poker in 2017 Vol I

    Good AFTERnoon poker competitors -

    As promised, I will begin a multiple PART series today on exploiting MODERN ( Remember - as the TIMES change, so do the DIRTY RIGS that the CHEATING SITES use. What WORKED FOR ME for MILLIONS of HANDS in 2014 is but a DISTANT MEMORY now - so pay CLOSE ATTENTION for NEW INFORMATION) rigged poker algorithms and random number GENerators. My apologies to POSTER BOBBYWAVES - I must use adult VOCABULARY and CANNOT overSIMPLIFY things for YOUR benefit - if you can't COMPREHEND the material enough to FOLLOW ALONG, ask poster MIKEJAMM for assistance. With a few EXTRA HOURS of work, I think the TWO of YOU COMBINING forces can figure out the BASICS that are presented. According to POSTER AUTO DONK, the TWO of YOU are used to working TOGETHER at SBR Tables ALL READY, so it should come NATURALLY to consolidate your efforts.

    In my 17 MILLION HANDS PLAYED of online POKER experience, I have CHARTED the FREQUENCIES and DISTRIBUTIONS across all RECORDED data to HIGHLIGHT weaknesses in the RIGGED POKER systems players face daily. My tip today is a BASIC that has held TRUE for MANY YEARS, BUT HAS RECENTLY been adjusted to AVOID SCRUTINY by REGULATORY COMMISSIONS that certify poker RNG's. Without FURTHER delay, LET'S focus on TODAY'S TIP TOPIC :

    THE CASHOUT DECK FREEZE

    Withdrawing PLAYERS across ALL SITES have EXPERIENCED THIS phenomenon : A streak of brilliant play allows you to run your BANKROLL up to a point where you WISH to put some of this CASH in your actual HANDS instead of an ONLINE LEDGER BALANCE ( Apologies to poster MIKEJAMM - we know this has NEVER happened to YOU) So you withdraw a PERCENTAGE of your BALANCE, LEAVING enough MONEY ONLINE to continue YOUR DOMINANCE. Unfortunatley, as you RETURN TO THE TABLES, you SUDDENLY CANNOT win a HAND. Every POT you PUT A CHIP IN is destined to be awarded to your OPPONENTS, and you quickly BLOW YOUR REMAINING BANKROLL despite PLAYING FLAWLESS POKER STRATEGY ( No Offense, Poster Triple_D_Bet - Sometime good PLAYERS employ WINNING STRATEGIES ).

    This FRUSTRATING experience is NOT JUST YOUR IMAGINATION - Poker sites HATE withdrawing PLAYERS. Literally EVERY time a player takes MONEY OFF of a SITE, ALARMS start going off in their Poker OFFICES. AND for MOST UNAWARE players - the RIGSWITCH gets FLIPPED. Fortunately, my FRIENDS - I have several ways for you to COMBAT the dreaded CASHOUT DECK freeze. All of the SITES that I have LOGGED VOLUME on have SECRET BACKDOOR cashout VALUES and windows that will ALLOW friends and FAMILIES of CARD ROOM officials to make withdrawals WHILST AVOIDING the DOOM of WITHDRAWAL. Now these SECRETS will be made available to YOU. I will list some tips on specific sites BELOW : ( NOTE, I WILL not USE THE REAL NAME OF THE site to avoid SCRUTINY from RIGMONGERS who wish to SPIN DOCTOR information that I POST - I will use a name that will HELP EASILY IDENTIFY ( Apologies again, poster BOBBYWAVES. Maybe not SO EASY for you) the SITES in QUESTION. Follow THESE INSTRUCTIONS, and you can avoid the FREEZE that befalls NEARLY EVERY USER playing ONLINE poker :

    "Rignition" : Make your cashout request in $33.33 USD multiples. IE, if you want to cashout 100 dollars, instead withdraw $99.99.

    "America's TARD Room" : Cashout on the 4th of each month, between the hours of 10pm and 11:30pm Eastern Standard time. Make sure your withdrawal request is an whole dollar odd value. IE if you want to withdraw 100 USD, request $101.00 USD

    "RigStars NJ" : Never, ever cashout after midnight. Wait until after 8am EST the following day. Withdraw in multiples of $7.26 ONLY. This seems like an arbitrary value, but it is actually based on Daniel Negreanu's birthday. It is critical you do the math for these withdrawal values, or you'll get a frozen deck colder than a poster Daneblazer football tip.

    "WSOP.rig" : I haven't put in as many hands in these state run WSOP games, so I don't have foolproof tips like the sites above. I have noticed this , though : The cashout freeze seems to affect ring games more than SNG's or Tourneys. I'd stick to these after a cashout for a while just to make sure.

    "SBRig Poker" : Tips forthcoming in a future POST.

    Fellow SBR Poker ASSOCIATES , I hope you CAN UTILIZE these handy suggestions to help improve your POKER PROFITS. Next TIME, I'll discuss strategies at the table to help avoid the CASHOUT FREEZE, and also will be debuting some TECHNIQUES to HELP WIN here in the SBR POKER ROOM as well. GOOD LUCK AT THE TABLES ( Especially poster BITEME USADOJ - he needs more HELP than MOST).

    POKER MASTER and CHAMPION
    Lowly OafTARD

  2. #2
    mpaschal34
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    Too long to read...
    Nomination(s):
    This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: Fidel_CashFlow

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  3. #3
    jtoler
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    how many years have u played online poker?

  4. #4
    brainfreeze
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    Those caps tho...

  5. #5
    bobbywaves
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    Sure doesn't look like Uncle Waves needs any advice on how to exploit rigged poker in 2017 from this Lowly Oafturd.

    576pts

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  6. #6
    JAKEPEAVY21
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    welcome back T3 suited
    175 pts

    3-QUESTION
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    175 pts

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  7. #7
    daneblazer
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpaschal34 View Post
    Too long to read...
    Too bad. Missing out on valuable information

  8. #8
    Spacefrog
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    "Rignition" : Make your cashout request in $33.33 USD multiples. IE, if you want to cashout 100 dollars, instead withdraw $99.99.


    Lolly,

    i think you forgot to mention that you MUST be standing on your left foot ONLY when ordering the cashout. I know that for sure!!!

  9. #9
    Auto Donk
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    i still slam my nuts on the left shift key during big hands on sbr thanks to this fukstick....

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  10. #10
    bobbywaves
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    i still slam my nuts on the left shift key during big hands on sbr thanks to this fukstick....
    Figured as much, since only fuksticks listen to Lowly Oafturd.
    576pts

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  11. #11
    Lowly Oaftard
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbywaves View Post
    Sure doesn't look like Uncle Waves needs any advice on how to exploit rigged poker in 2017 from this Lowly Oafturd.
    It's a shame you miss so many opportunities at self promotion. Your humility is a standard of conduct we could all learn some lessons from.

    I won't expose you fully here because it would seem petty, but I recall receiving DOZENS of PM's from you when I began revealing the secrets to Tourney Domination several years ago. You trailed Triple_D_Bet in a large leaderboard bet at the time, and were desperate enough to do anything to win. Strangely enough, you seemed to overtake him on said leaderboard after I gave you advice on manipulating the rig.

    Maybe a hearty " Thank you" would suffice instead of generic huff and puff insults followed by a yet another chest beating grunt and a link to the leaderboard.

    Your PERSONAL poker SALVATION
    Lowly OafTARD

  12. #12
    Lowly Oaftard
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    i still slam my nuts on the left shift key during big hands on sbr thanks to this fukstick....
    How did you know ABOUT SLAMMING your nuts on the key? I never EVER revealed this part of the technique to THE public.

    All jokes aside Auto DONK, prepare to have your MIND BLOWN by future RIG BUSTING mechanisms revealed by yours TRULY. And make ROOM for the EXTRA CASH in your BANK ACCOUNT - YOU will need a lot of SPACE in the VAULT to store the coin you're going to RACK UP.

    Your CLOSE PERSONAL friend
    Lowly OafTARD
    Nomination(s):
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  13. #13
    Lowly Oaftard
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    Quote Originally Posted by daneblazer View Post
    Too bad. Missing out on valuable information
    It's like FINDING a treasure MAP with the BOUNTY at your HOUSE, but ignoring it BECAUSE you are too LAZY to search such a REMOTE location.

    Those who invest a FEW MINUTES of time will REAP the profits of their MINIMAL EFFORT.

    Your wise POKER SAGE
    Lowly OafTARD

  14. #14
    Lowly Oaftard
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtoler View Post
    how many years have u played online poker?
    I played in the very first dealt hand of ONLINE poker, in 1962 at the MIT Computer LAB in between games of SPACEWAR on a PDP-1 with a cathode ray TUBE monitor. Over the last 55 YEARS I have been THE HIGHEST VOLUME poker PLAYER in EARTH, and have DEDICATED my life to helping INNOCENT PLAYERS combat the RIGGED WORLD of ONLINE POKER by increasing AWARENESS and providing SUGGESTIONS to help LEVEL the PLAYING field between greedy CORPORATE THIEVES and formerly HELPLESS players.

    Your PERSONAL poker ADVOCATE
    Lowly OafTARD

  15. #15
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lowly Oaftard View Post
    I played in the very first dealt hand of ONLINE poker, in 1962 at the MIT Computer LAB in between games of SPACEWAR on a PDP-1 with a cathode ray TUBE monitor. Over the last 55 YEARS I have been THE HIGHEST VOLUME poker PLAYER in EARTH, and have DEDICATED my life to helping INNOCENT PLAYERS combat the RIGGED WORLD of ONLINE POKER by increasing AWARENESS and providing SUGGESTIONS to help LEVEL the PLAYING field between greedy CORPORATE THIEVES and formerly HELPLESS players.

    Your PERSONAL poker ADVOCATE
    Lowly OafTARD
    had no idea you were in your 80's.....

    as i always show respect for my elders, please accept my apologies for any name calling i might have engaged in in this or prior threads.....

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  16. #16
    bobbywaves
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lowly Oaftard View Post
    It's a shame you miss so many opportunities at self promotion
    Yeah, I should definitely capitalize on the plethora of my opportunities more often. But as you eluded to below, I'm quite humble.

    Your humility is a standard of conduct we could all learn some lessons from.
    Solid point, couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, not many learn from my example.

    I won't expose you fully here because it would seem petty, but I recall receiving DOZENS of PM's from you when I began revealing the secrets to Tourney Domination several years ago. You trailed Triple_D_Bet in a large leaderboard bet at the time, and were desperate enough to do anything to win. Strangely enough, you seemed to overtake him on said leaderboard after I gave you advice on manipulating the rig.
    You're full of shit as usual, never sent you a PM.

    And to expose you even further I'll offer you 37k broke dikk, all you have to do is take screen shots & post the "dozens of PM's" you ignorantly claim I sent you.

    Maybe a hearty " Thank you" would suffice
    You're absolutely right, "thanks" for making it so easy to bury you again.
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  17. #17
    Lowly Oaftard
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbywaves View Post
    Yeah, I should definitely capitalize on the plethora of my opportunities more often. But as you eluded to below, I'm quite humble.



    Solid point, couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, not many learn from my example.



    You're full of shit as usual, never sent you a PM.

    And to expose you even further I'll offer you 37k broke dikk, all you have to do is take screen shots & post the "dozens of PM's" you ignorantly claim I sent you.



    You're absolutely right, "thanks" for making it so easy to bury you again.
    I'd just like to congratulate you on making it through a post without inserting a screenshot of or link to the SBR Tourney Leaderboard. SBR History has been made.

    Keep working your shift key to lock in those 10th places finishes , though. I must say, you lack gratitude by denying you requested help when you were crying yourself to sleep at night because you thought Triple_D_Bet was going to handily defeat you. It's unfortunate that those PM's were long ago deleted to make room in my mailbox to assist the scores of SBR posters who have solicited my guidance to poker success. I am certainly happy that I was able to help many others besides you, though. Oddly enough, most of these posters wanted help with REAL MONEY sites as opposed to focusing on poker for points. It says a lot about you that you were ( and apparently still are ) obsessed exclusively with points leaderboards and freeloader contests. Broke Dikk indeed.

    I'm going to go ahead and fall silent on any other of the typical redundant responses you post here. I think between Triple_D_Bet, Biter, and the rest of the SBR community you have been both discredited and dehumanizingly shamed beyond reason. No reason for me to pile on. Please don't PM for assistance again though - you will have to combat the rig on your own moving forward.

    Your Fellow SBR Competitor,
    Lowly OafTARD

  18. #18
    Auto Donk
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    my nuts hurt....

    I need my old laptop with the softer left shift key.....

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  19. #19
    bobbywaves
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lowly Oaftard View Post
    I'd just like to congratulate you on making it through a post without inserting a screenshot of or link to the SBR Tourney Leaderboard. SBR History has been made.

    Keep working your shift key to lock in those 10th places finishes , though. I must say, you lack gratitude by denying you requested help when you were crying yourself to sleep at night because you thought Triple_D_Bet was going to handily defeat you. It's unfortunate that those PM's were long ago deleted to make room in my mailbox to assist the scores of SBR posters who have solicited my guidance to poker success. I am certainly happy that I was able to help many others besides you, though. Oddly enough, most of these posters wanted help with REAL MONEY sites as opposed to focusing on poker for points. It says a lot about you that you were ( and apparently still are ) obsessed exclusively with points leaderboards and freeloader contests. Broke Dikk indeed.

    I'm going to go ahead and fall silent on any other of the typical redundant responses you post here. I think between Triple_D_Bet, Biter, and the rest of the SBR community you have been both discredited and dehumanizingly shamed beyond reason. No reason for me to pile on. Please don't PM for assistance again though - you will have to combat the rig on your own moving forward.

    Your Fellow SBR Competitor,
    Lowly OafTARD
    I obviously figured out the rig on my own, as the annual leaderboard clearly indicates. I rarely PM anyone, especially chumps like yourself.

    You're all talk & no action. You don't play poker here, or anywhere else for that matter. If you weren't such a broke dikk, I would post up 37k with a 3rd party & offer you a 2018 annual leaderboard bet. Solicit a 37k loan pussy & get back to me.
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  20. #20
    TheMoneyShot
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    Doesn't anyone think this Lowly Oftard is a SBR made up handle?

  21. #21
    brainfreeze
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lowly Oaftard View Post
    I'd just like to congratulate you on making it through a post without inserting a screenshot of or link to the SBR Tourney Leaderboard. SBR History has been made.

    Keep working your shift key to lock in those 10th places finishes , though. I must say, you lack gratitude by denying you requested help when you were crying yourself to sleep at night because you thought Triple_D_Bet was going to handily defeat you. It's unfortunate that those PM's were long ago deleted to make room in my mailbox to assist the scores of SBR posters who have solicited my guidance to poker success. I am certainly happy that I was able to help many others besides you, though. Oddly enough, most of these posters wanted help with REAL MONEY sites as opposed to focusing on poker for points. It says a lot about you that you were ( and apparently still are ) obsessed exclusively with points leaderboards and freeloader contests. Broke Dikk indeed.

    I'm going to go ahead and fall silent on any other of the typical redundant responses you post here. I think between Triple_D_Bet, Biter, and the rest of the SBR community you have been both discredited and dehumanizingly shamed beyond reason. No reason for me to pile on. Please don't PM for assistance again though - you will have to combat the rig on your own moving forward.

    Your Fellow SBR Competitor,
    Lowly OafTARD
    yikes...
    Last edited by brainfreeze; 08-14-17 at 09:26 PM.

  22. #22
    brainfreeze
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    i sense quality entertainment going to this thread one way or another.

  23. #23
    TheMoneyShot
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    Where's MikeJamm at??? Get ready for A MAJOR RIGGED SH#$HOLE with Oaftard on deck.

  24. #24
    daneblazer
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMoneyShot View Post
    Doesn't anyone think this Lowly Oftard is a SBR made up handle?
    Is the money in your pocket that these tips will bring you made up?

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