I don't care about baseball. Don't follow me. Whatever.

[Deep_Rest]

Sure, I'll go to a Dodger game every now and then, but I'm not interested in MLB. I hate to go outside, I live in misery, and getting out of bed is a chore.

Anyways, I found a couple hundred dollars on my Bovada account and I've decided to bet on baseball until I go broke. I scour other people's threads and none of these picks I do research on. All other picks are on/against the Dodgers. I know betting on your favorite team clouds your judgement yet I do it anyways because I'm depressed. I also bet against my favorite team because I'm really depressed.

I will go broke, so don't tail me!

I typically Martyball my bets in a $5, $15, $50 fashion. So 4 straight C bets and I'm done. Good riddance. Please end my pitiful sports betting existence. I am Deep_Rest.

Here are my results since I started:

8/13/12 LAD@PIT $2 to win $2.3 WIN
8/14/12 LAD@PIT $5 to win $4.76 LOSS
8/15/12 LAD@PIT $15 to win $20.25 LOSS
8/16/12 LAD@PIT $50 to win $37.04 WIN
8/17/12 (My "I wish I wasn't birthedday") BAL@DET $5 to win $12.25 LOSS
8/17/12 (I got no cards, presents, or SBR points. I spent all day staring at the ceiling, drinking cheap wine, and listening to The Doors) PIT@STL $5 to win $7.15 WIN
8/18/12 BAL@DET $15 to win $27 WIN
8/18/12 NYM@WAS $5 to win $6.75 WIN

So far: I am up 55.24 false hopes. You people might refer to them as "dollars".

Upcoming:
KC@TB $5 to win $2.86
CLE@SEA $5 to win $4.55

Hopefully these games can snowball into gigantic losses so I can stop polluting the internet with my inadequacies. Good luck to you, bad luck to me.

[riffraff24]

lol. Hilarious. Love the avatar too.

Goin to the Doyer game tonight? I am...

[Deep_Rest]

Kershaw is our best pitcher so I think I will stare at the ceiling tonight. I might buy some tickets for tomorrow or Wednesday's game when our "lesser" pitchers are playing.

[Deep_Rest]

Here's another loser I added: PIT@SD $5 to win $6.65

[Deep_Rest]

Today was a good day. I inched 7.14 false hopes closer to my goal of 0. Hopefully I can compound these losses into one huge financial implosion that will have me eating at soup kitchens the rest of my life.

KC@TB $5 to win $2.86 WIN
CLE@SEA $5 to win $4.55 LOSS
PIT@SD $5 to win $6.65 LOSS

Net: -7.14 false hopes

Total: +48.1 false hopes

[Bettalent]

This is the most depressing thread on SBR. Gl tho

[Deep_Rest]

I guess today I will throw some money against the guy that's been tormenting my favorite team for the last few years.

I have a friend from Pacific Beach. His birthday party is this Sunday. I told him I couldn't go because of "basketball reasons". I figure if David Stern can get away with that excuse, so can I. My friend called BS which angered me. Now I'll probably have to drive all the way down to San Diego to sit in the corner of a bar–watching beautiful party girls from SDSU completely ignore me. I think I'll buy a girl a drink, then run away to the bathroom so she doesn't figure out it was "that wretch in the corner" that paid for her drink. Anyways, due to the upcoming misery I am betting again on the Pirates. Hopefully they can help lower the morale of San Diego before I get there.

PIT@SD $15 to win $11.28
SF@LAD $15 to win $12.82

[humble]

hahaha love your thread~

[Deep_Rest]

What's up my fellow bro's? I'm Deep's pornstar friend Tyler Piston, from Maaaaalibu. I guess he lost $30 or something last night and he wanted to celebrate...he's currently passed out alone in the backyard. We ended up going down on a 3L jug of Carlo Rossi Rhine. Apparently Deep isn't a wine connoisseur and only buys the cheap stuff. I guess he's very particular about what goes in his mouth and down his throat. He can be very anal about it. Anyways, I found a crumpled piece of paper in his hand that said he bet:

PIT@SD $50 to win $37.04
SF@LAD $50 to win $47.62

Woooweee! That's some serious bread man! I could have used that to pay for my mandatory syphilis test coming up. Hopefully the "industry" doesn't figure out it was me!

So, after looking at his picks, I'm thinking Pittsburgh is going to squirt out a win by riding the bare back of McDonald and his pitching.

The Dodgers are playing like missionaries and need to be more aggressive like in the style of a dog. Doggystyle, if you will. Hopefully they can penetrate the Giants defenses and erect a good score tonight. Maybe by next week, they can thrust themselves back to the top of the NL West.