Dr. Phil's Therapeutic Plays

good2go2mexico · 07-01-12, 09:26 PM

Demand for your plays is at an alltime low.

HoulihansTX · 07-01-12, 09:31 PM

Another air bettor.

YorkHunt · 07-01-12, 09:47 PM

Never fukkn heard of ya pal

good2go2mexico · 07-01-12, 09:52 PM

Originally posted by HoulihansTX

Another air bettor.

No you got it all wrong he was going to be set up for 5 years if the Giants had hit -1 1/2.

DoctorPhil · 07-01-12, 10:51 PM

Alright mother fukkers, the fillmeisters is back with his first play of this thread. Now some of you mother fukkers are going to be like, THIS DUDE IS CRAY-CRAY, but I know this is a solid fukkken play and the vegas line proves it.

Cleveland Indians +xxx

****If you want some more value, wait until brahmabull + squares like brock landers pounds the sh11t out of the Angels, then fuk up the closing line and CLEAN HOUSE*******

So some of you dudes are thinking, what the fuk. This dude is fukken insane. He's betting on one of the middle of the pack teams in baseball agaisnt one of the hottest teams in baseball with their fukkken ace stud on the mound. I mean like let's get real, Vegas is dropping this line like fukken chumps on bait. Now let this be known, I don't fukkken make plays because Vegas sets trap lines like this, but I'm just pointing it out for all you "o snap, the fix is in" betters.

Alright let's get down to fukkken buisness.

The Cleveland Indians are fukkken MONEY right now. Their bats are so HOT it's not even funny. Every one of these fukkkin Indians are raking like the some dead beat shawshank redemption sequal. I can't make sh11t like this up. On the road versus Baltimore past 4 games: 7,8,11,6 runs scores; respectively. These guys are absolutely raking it, and I know fukkken why.

Now I'm going to spell this out for you returds slowly; every mother fukkin Cleveland Indian RAKES right handed pitching; every single one of them. Why? Because they're all fukkkin LEFT HANDED.

DAMON? YEP; BRANTLY? YEP CHOO CHOO TRAIN? YEP.......Hannahfukking hand, caberea, kipnis, kotchman, santana, THEY're ALL LEFTIES, AND THEY FUKKKKKKKKEN RAKE RIGHTIES............

Now you chumps are prolly wondering, how does JARED WEAVER fare agaisnt lefties? HE FUKKEN DOMINANTES THEM. But here's why he fukkken won't in Cleveland tmr, the dude has been facing lefties off the bench because sh11tty managers play a B team stacked with lefties rather than their A team right the righties in. They think they're playing the matchups, but they're just putting a sh1tty product on the field. This is the fukkin A squad line-up for Cleveland and they ALL RAKE righties.

ALSO, Jared Weaver is fukkkken SHAKY like jjgold's dick before he sees Brock Landers comming down the street in his doo rag. The dude is an absolute BEAST at home, .70 ERA @ home, like what. the. fuk. ON THE ROAD? A whole different muther fukkkkken story. The dude is hittable, TO SAY THE LEAST: 3.77 ROAD ERA. What's the fukkken KICKER? The CLEVELAND Indians ALREADY SEEN THIS FOOL in LA this season; they know what he's got, but this time; HE'S IN THEIR FUKKING TERRIORY. Now I know this guy went 6 INNINGS with 0 ERA last time versus CLEVELAND, but HE ALLOWED SEVEN HITS + 4 WALKS, does he fukken think he is HOUDINI or something? There's no way he gets this lucky the second time around. You know it, and I know it, advantage goes to hitters the more appearances they get. I ain't be trying to call this fool a fraud or nothing, but something is fukkken up here.

Lefty A squad team stacked versus Jared Weaver round II? 7 Hits + 4 walks last time? That's fukkken disaster waiting to happen for LAA.

Now onto my boy OOOOOOOOOOBALDO JIMMMY BOY.

Let's face it, this dude just isn't the same guy he was when he got like 2,000 wins that one season with Colorado. The stuff isn't as electic anymore, but it's aiiiiiiiiiiiiiite. YA KNOW WHY?

This dude absolutely DOMINATES right handed hitters. They're hitting just .234 agaisnt him and slugging a pussy ass .348. Why is this good? Because every mother fukker on the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles California (home of the fukkken pussies) are right fukken handed. Trout, RIGHTY; PUJOLS; RIGHTY, TRUMBO; RIGHTY; every single fukkken one of them. Let's be fukken real here, these guys suck C0CK BALLS versus righties and you fukkken know it. UBALDO is one the most fukken effective throwing sons of b11tches versus righties in the majors today. The fukkken movement he has on his sh11t makes righties sh1t their fuukkkken pants every time the step up to the plate.

Ulbado has been fukkken lightyears ahead of himself when he's pitching at home, holding all his opponents to just .193; LIKE WHAT. THE FUK. I guess this dude just gets off from fat boys in the center field bleacher banging the drums everytime he winds the fuk up.

Anyone chump who doesn't do their research is going to fukkken JIZZ all over this line, saying its TOO EASY! Well, good thing you were able to have a session with the FILLMEISTER to set you fukkken straight. Cleveland wins this game at HOME, ain't no doubt about it.

Meat locker · 07-01-12, 11:01 PM

Dude how old are you...

DoctorPhil · 07-02-12, 11:03 AM

Cashhhhh

Gndias · 07-02-12, 11:42 AM

agendaman · 07-02-12, 11:52 AM

dr.phil couple of things /why cant you just give out the pick w/o the histrionics p.s. phil i will give you 50 sbr pts. if you can tell m e what the word HISTRIONICS means /im serious /next you mentioned having a session /well i highly recommend you have a session w/another dr. a shrink /you exhibit signs of mental jllness phil gl

DoctorPhil · 07-02-12, 12:43 PM

The fuk if u turd faces give 2 fuks if i type in slang and big ass colorful fonts.

My plays are winNars

Vinnie Paz · 07-02-12, 01:22 PM

@ this. This is great fukkin work and man this guy breaks down a game, solid shit right here keep it going

3.77 road era is not that bad at all really though phillis

DoctorPhil · 07-02-12, 02:26 PM

Brock landers on la angels, called it.

Cleveland huge.

moguler · 07-02-12, 02:39 PM

The way he writes is one thing. The argument he proposes is another.
I find the latter very convincing. On the Indians. Small unit play though.

thunderous · 07-02-12, 02:44 PM

Hilarious!! you know what? I am gonna tail you just for the write up.

DoctorPhil · 07-02-12, 03:38 PM

u fools wont be disappointed

2daBank · 07-02-12, 04:36 PM

right side, but it baseball so who knows from gm to gm...need jimenez to keep his walks down..

DoctorPhil · 07-02-12, 08:02 PM

bases load 0 outs - nobody scores

can't cap this sh1ts.

sorry fellas, it's a fukkken GRINDDDD

DoctorPhil · 07-02-12, 10:46 PM

Cleveland Indians, ain't going to catch no breaks. It's alright, the play was solid and I ain't regretting anything after the fact.

Moving the fuk on, I have a special treat for all you naughty little boys.

The play for 7/3:

New York Mets -120

Alright mother fukkers, calm the fuk down. New York Mets ain't even a bad team, they're fukken 3 games above .500 and still have a shot at the playoffs. I don't know why people are d11cking so hard on the New York Mets like they're some scrub AAA team; perhaps you guys tailed Brock fukken Landers or something and lost huge? I don't fukkken know. The Phillies are just absolute balls, ice cold sack of balls. The fire sale has begun and they're taking offers on Cole Hamels, Shane Victorino, and anyone worth two cents. The Phillies just don't give a fuk because they know they're toast and ain't going anywhere. The days of the huge contracts have finally caught up with the fighting phils, and now they're in last place; the fukkken cellar. Chumps all around are laying good money on this sh1tty team based on what they did the past 5 years, and it's fawking pathetic. times have changed, it's time to keep up or get taken over by the books; ala brahmabull117.

Well any fukkin way, why are the New York Mets the play here?

Because Jonathan Niese has been an absolute rock solid monster the past month, going at a clip of a 1.89 ERA. He's fukkken burning through batters like nothing.

Here are two fukken red flags that came across my systematic analysis:

Phillies are 9-17 versus LHP
Phillies hit a mother fukkin pitiful .241 versus LHP

We got one of the hottest LHP's in the game right now in Niese in the midst of a playoff run going against a team that has fallen over and DIED.

How good is Niese going at right now? He fukkin slugged down the Yankees for only 2 ER going deep into 7; and that's when they were beating down teams left and right. His last start versus Chicago was a FBI crime scence, dude just shut them the fuk down.

Some of you dudes prolly wondering, what about el chinco from the Phoolies, that Worley fukker.

Imma say it, this dude is prolly the only solid thing the Phils have going right now; but he won't be able to contain the fukkken mets, no fukkin way.

The current team is hitting .311 with a .370 OBP versus Worley; like dooooooooooode, the guy is just asking to get rocked. His last start versus the NYM back in April; when the Mets were written off as bottom dwellers in the NY East and the Phils were the kings; he went 6 IP giving up fukken 4 runs. The Mets have the fukkken book on this kid, ain't no fukkken doubt about it.

How do the fukken Mets do versus RHP as a whole: mother fukkken 32-19, might as well call themselves the fukking Bronx Bombers while they're fukkin at it.

Worley is going to get lit up so fukken hard, the Mets already pound on righties, especially this one, who they already seen before earlier in the season.

We got the Mets with homefield advantage, that should be worth a dick or two.

tldr: Phillies suck ball sacks and have rolled over and died. Mets are in the middle of a playoff race. Phillies suck balls versus LHP, Niese is fukken hot right now. Mets rake righties, Mets rake Worley specfically. Homefield advatange.

Im taking the fukkkken METS.

DoctorPhil · 07-03-12, 04:49 PM

Adding SFGIANTS +122

Lincecum is back? MAYBE i don't fukken know, i just need some more ACTION.

good2go2mexico · 07-03-12, 04:51 PM

It's really unfortunate that you are on the Mets too.

DoctorPhil · 07-03-12, 04:54 PM

Originally posted by good2go2mexico

It's really unfortunate that you are on the Mets too.

I'm fukken scared too, usually I'm on the sharp side. But it looks like squares like you are pounding the Mets also

60% mets and line still drops, I'm fukkin scared, hold me please.

good2go2mexico · 07-03-12, 04:56 PM

Originally posted by DoctorPhil

I'm fukken scared too, usually I'm on the sharp side. But it looks like squares like you are pounding the Mets also

60% mets and line still drops, I'm fukkin scared, hold me please.

Yep I'm the square

DoctorPhil · 07-03-12, 07:50 PM

its a fukking money printing press, caaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssh

DoctorPhil · 07-03-12, 10:38 PM

Hope you blind nuts tailed the Mets, or faded, don't give a fuk because I know my plays are solid.

Got a special treat for the early game tmr, write-up comming out soon, don't miss this one muther fukers.

DoctorPhil · 07-03-12, 11:13 PM

Alright guys, you need to get this play in early because this game starts at fukkkin 11 A.M EST/8 A.M. PST. Nothing is better than waking up with a W notched under the belt for the day.

The treat of the day is:

San Francisco Giants -104

Guys, I'm just in fukkken disbelief right now that the Giants are almost EV money in this scenario. When I saw this line I thought God was playing a sh11tty trick on me, but I called my bookie up and he said it's the real deal. I was pre-capping this game before the lines and I just blew a d11ck and jizzed all over my computer screen when I saw this. This is also solid of a fukken line that you're going to get tmr on the fourth of July.

Madison Bumgarner, old fukkin HICKORY from North Carolina. This big boy grew up on a farm and knows what it's like waking up before dust and going to fukkkkken WORK. This guy was in bed before the Giants even started the 5th inning in tonight's game. He has been an absolute beast this season, notching up 10 mother fukken wins with an average at best offense. This guy has been absolute money and is one of the reasons that the Giants are in first place in the NL West.

Last starts versus the STACKED Cincinatti Reds line-up: NINE (9!!!) innings pitch, ZERO (O!!!) earned fukken runs. LAST THREE STARTS: 23 innings pitched, 1.96 ERA. This dude goes fukkken DEEP into ball games, no fukken worries about gas can casilla comming in to put the hammer down. This guy is his own fukken closer.

The only chump that worries me in the Nationals line-up is Bryce the Dike Harper, I mean, this kid is fukkken legit. But Bumgarner got this cat in the fukkkin bag, VERSUS LEFT HANDED HITTERS: .158 BA/.198 OBP/.232 SLUG; LOL like WUT?!?! I don't even know how he's that fukkken good, might as well sit Bryce and put in what ever scrub you got on the bench to save his batting average. I mean like dooooooooooode, this guy absolute shuts down lefties, and Harper is the one turd with half an ass in this line-up.

Edwin Jackson? This guy is a fukken black prototypical party boy from the hood. The guy is an absolute gas can and has his on days and his off days. His past start in fukkin Colorado? 3 IP/ 8 ER, like dude wtf, did you go drinking last night or have money on $$$$? This guy is just a fukkkin BP pitcher, cold as fukkin ice. Last 3 starts: 15.1 IP/6.46 ERA, this fukkin cow is getting lazy because he thinks he can get carried by Gio and Strasburg. Dude just goes out and drinks and drinks.

How does he fare versus lefties? : .439 SLUG, look for the bombs to drop tmr on the fourth of july. Panda is fukkin hot as firecrackers and Belt has been hitting every muther fukker hat the past 20 games. Looking for a bomb out of EACH of these muther fukkers tmr.

The fukkin hammer statistic of the day?? DAY GAME ERA: 5.48. LIKE WUT? This guy fukkkin hates day games beause he parties like a rockstar every fukken night. This game is at 11 A.M. boys, I'm not even sure this dude is going to make it to the park on time, better take this bet Bumgarner/ACTION, right now it's fukkken -150 he shows up, but that line should drop.

****Bruce the snooch already threw in the towel after LinceCUM gave up 8 ER in 3 innings******

Pulled all his starters and told them to head home BEFORE the rain delay: Posey + Pagan + Sandoval all fukken went to the hotel before the tarp even hit the field in the 7th. Bochy knows whats up. He's playing the numbers and knows he's going to take the game tmr like candy from BIGPAGE25.

The dude from the Nats? I don't even know what the fuk he was doing, muther fukker left in his A squad even after the delay like some pussy to secure the W. He burned through 2 arms in the ninth? Like dude, WHY SO SERIOUS?

This game is fukkin SOLID, GIANTS for the WIN.

2daBank · 07-03-12, 11:42 PM

not sure you can take much away from jackson's last start as lots of pitchers get blown up at Coors and he certainly isnt "cold as ice" as he has been very good with exception of rox gm... 3 gms before his start at coors he faced tor and went 8 innings allowing 2 runs, nyy 6 innings 2 er, bal 6.1 innings 1 er..certainly not numbers of a guy on a cold streak, and while yes he has been inconsistent throughout his career he has never been someone i would call a "gascan"...

DoctorPhil · 07-04-12, 12:02 AM

Originally posted by 2daBank

not sure you can take much away from jackson's last start as lots of pitchers get blown up at Coors and he certainly isnt "cold as ice" as he has been very good with exception of rox gm... 3 gms before his start at coors he faced tor and went 8 innings allowing 2 runs, nyy 6 innings 2 er, bal 6.1 innings 1 er..certainly not numbers of a guy on a cold streak, and while yes he has been inconsistent throughout his career he has never been someone i would call a "gascan"...

bruh those stats don't even make sense. Maybe if someone did some fukkken research they would see that:

Baltimore was in the midst of a fukkken melt down. Before Nats, swept by Mets; following Nats: swept by Angels, got 3/4 taken from them by Cleveland. That team was fukkken garbage, ain't even going to try that weak sh1t.

NYY Start: 6IP/2 ER might look aiiite on paper, but when you giving up 7 hits + 3 walks, sh1t is going to hit the fan; sooner rather than l8ter

Toronto start was over a month ago broski, you're going as good as your last start, last 3 starts at most. ITTTTTTTE

Very much appreciate the concern, but Dr. Fill got this sh1t in the bag.

GIANTS HUGE.

2daBank · 07-04-12, 12:05 AM

it whatever bruh...i actually like the play but acting like jackson has been terrible is a joke..i agree he isnt as good as his numbers have been, def been fortunate but the guy has never been a gascan...

speaking of not making sense lets talk about how "bumgarner a farmer and accustomed to being up early", funny cause his day/night splits dont really reflect that..

DoctorPhil · 07-04-12, 12:35 AM

AITTTTTTTTTE then 2dabankdizzle, lets stop being a fukkken debbie fukkin downer

and cash this mother fuker.

msetai · 07-04-12, 01:41 AM

dudeeee are you WiiSports??

EC4THREE10 · 07-04-12, 01:44 AM

Cash This CHECK!!!!!! CHA CHING DEBBIE!!!!

DoctorPhil · 07-04-12, 09:10 AM

rdy to get the win nnn

DoctorPhil · 07-04-12, 10:23 AM

sandoval bomb, easy capping

EC4THREE10 · 07-04-12, 10:39 AM

Abc 123