[GELATINOUS CUBE]

Illini's-jewish(except-when-he's-catholic).

[DeluxeLiner]

A few things you should know
1. I see all this discussion about pork when it is not important. You can't eat shell fish, or bottom feeders of any king too if you want to keep Kosher. Not everybody keeps Kosher, so I know a lot of Jews that eat pork (most do feel guilty eating it though) You can convert Reform or Reconstructionist or even Conservative (though a lot of conservative keep Kosher, not all do) and you can still eat Pork if you must.
2. It's not all about religion. If you didn't grow up Jewish it might be hard to feel involved if you don't put any real work into understanding traditions, Hebrew, history, current events and the important prayers. There is a lot of struggle as a people.
3. It is not a recruiting religion. Jews are "the chosen people" because god chose Jews to follow all these rules. If you want to officially convert Conservative they are going to prick your dick with a needle no joke (Go reform for to avoid dick pricking). They are also going to ask you on various occasions if you truly want to convert.
4. Know that converts are considered just as accepted into the community as Jews born from Jewish mothers.
5. Jews tend to form local tight knit communities and it's like being in a club. The community will support you through the highs and lows of your life (for example the community will help you if a close relative dies by sitting for Shiva with you)
6. If you really want to get into the the Torah and other readings you can but know that Judaism is a thinking religion. You are taught to question and not to accept (The antithesis of Catholicism pretty much)
7. Jews are not cheap. Some of the most generous people I know are Jewish. Thoughts about donating, how to donate, and such are discussed (for example donating anonymously is considered a higher level than attaching your name to a donation)

[Nickelicious]

Well summarized points on Judaism, DeluxeLiner. LOL, though, I know my in-laws didn't feel guilty eating bacon and pepperoni! And they are fairly observant Jews otherwise. They don't keep kosher anymore, but they used to keep kosher when their family had small children. And they still observe all the holidays, attend Torah study and discussion groups, and pass on Jewish traditions to their grandchildren, one of whom goes to a private Jewish school on scholarship.

[Rod1010]

lmaooooo good luck wit that

[Salamander]

Mikail's god and the jewish god should have one of those hot dog eating contests sometime, like they do on 4th of July. Then the loser will congratulate the winner and not involve their flesh and blood kids on Earth to do their warring for them. Those two gods seem to both agree pigs suck, so that's a good start.

[King Mayan]

I'm always thinking about changing to Judaism but my wife thinks is nonsense... Those fukks are rich.. I live close to the fairfax district in LA where those wealthy Jews are at!!!

[Cougar Bait]

Lots of good advice here. Thanks everyone. It could be more difficult than I really thought considering I really don't have anyone to walk me through the process. None of my friends are Jewish. Another thing is that my community is mostly Catholic, Protestant and Baptist. Not a great deal of Jewish influence here.

[DeluxeLiner]

Lots of good advice here. Thanks everyone. It could be more difficult than I really thought considering I really don't have anyone to walk me through the process. None of my friends are Jewish. Another thing is that my community is mostly Catholic, Protestant and Baptist. Not a great deal of Jewish influence here.

You need to meet with a Rabbi at your local temple.

[PuckOff]

Bacon, Cougs. BACON!!!

And pork loin. Oh the sweet things you can do with a nice pork loin.

Hey Sis,

I have 2 pork loins in my freezer. I've never cooked a pork loin before. Help your bro out and fire over a couple of your fav recipes.

[Cougar Bait]

If you want to officially convert Conservative they are going to prick your dick with a needle no joke

Wait a minute

What?!

You are going to have to explain that one. That does not sound good.

[itchypickle]

Dick pricking?? Wtf are you talking about?

[yisman]

Some weird posts here.

Just like with most things, some posters are posting some things of questionable accuracy.

Cougar, if you're serious about this, you'd have to find a rabbi to talk to, I think.

[Cougar Bait]

Some weird posts here.

Just like with most things, some posters are posting some things of questionable accuracy.

Cougar, if you're serious about this, you'd have to find a rabbi to talk to, I think.

Doing some more research on my own right now. There is quite a lot to this, and it's a big decision.

[firedawg]

couger, why dont you do research on hw to sukk a better cokk? u fuukin bitch...... what a toolbag u are

[Cougar Bait]

couger, why dont you do research on hw to sukk a better cokk? u fuukin bitch

I did that, but all I found was this picture:

[firedawg]

oh so funny............ go lick some more thick head you fa\*\*ot

[Cougar Bait]

oh so funny............ go lick some more thick head you fa\*\*ot

Or I could try my hand at third grade grammar

couger

why dont you do research on hw

You should probably give up at this point genius.

[BatemanPatrickl]

True story, last weekend there was a religious revival at Madison Square Garden. Bishop Fulton Sheen made such a stirring speech that 10,000 people converted to Catholicism. Then Billy Graham got up and did some inspired preaching and 10,000 people converted to Protestantism, then to close the program, Pat Boone got up and sang "There's A Gold Mine In The Sky" and 20,000 Jews joined the Air Force!

Did you just rip a joke off Matt Damon in School Ties. God you are a fat loser.

[Ralphie1412]

Who the **** would want to be a jew?

[Ralphie1412]

Did you just rip a joke off Matt Damon in School Ties. God you are a fat loser.

I was just thinking the same thing. What a sheeny bastard.

[DeluxeLiner]

Wait a minute

What?!

You are going to have to explain that one. That does not sound good.

Seriously Coug this is being made a much bigger deal than it actually is

http://www.jewishfederations.org/page.aspx?id=27282

5. CIRCUMCISION

The specific requirements for conversion and their order need to be discussed with a rabbi. One requirement for males who wish to be converted by an Orthodox or Conservative rabbi is circumcision, or brit milah. If a circumcision has already been performed, the Orthodox and Conservative movements require that a drop of blood be drawn as a symbolic circumcision. This ceremony is called Hatafat Dam Brit. The Reform and Reconstructionist movements generally do not require a circumcision as part of the conversion process.

If you want to convert Reform then they do not require this.

As I said earlier Judaism is not really a recruiting religion and they want you to be sure you want to convert. Think of it as a test.

[StackinGreen]

THE pig or swine is a very popular food item with most Christians. Yet Christians are unaware that the God they profess to believe in had condemned the eating of swine's flesh. The condemnation was based on some very sound biological principles. Here are some facts on pork that prove it to be a very unhealthy food to eat:

A pig is a real garbage gut. It will eat anything including urine, excrement, dirt, decaying animal flesh, maggots, or decaying vegetables. They will even eat the cancerous growths off other pigs or animals.

The meat and fat of a pig absorbs toxins like a sponge. Their meat can be 30 times more toxic than beef or venison.

When eating beef or venison, it takes 8 to 9 hours to digest the meat so what little toxins are in the meat are slowly put into our system and can be filtered by the liver. But when pork is eaten, it takes only 4 hours to digest the meat. We thus get a much higher level of toxins within a shorter time.

Unlike other mammals, a pig does not sweat or perspire. Perspiration is a means by which toxins are removed from the body. Since a pig does not sweat, the toxins remain within its body and in the meat.

Pigs and swine are so poisonous that you can hardly kill them with strychnine or other poisons.

Farmers will often pen up pigs within a rattlesnake nest because the pigs will eat the snakes, and if bitten they will not be harmed by the venom.

When a pig is butchered, worms and insects take to its flesh sooner and faster than to other animal's flesh. In a few days the swine flesh is full of worms.

Swine and pigs have over a dozen parasites within them, such as tapeworms, flukes, worms, and trichinae. There is no safe temperature at which pork can be cooked to ensure that all these parasites, their cysts,and eggs will be killed.

Pig meat has twice as much fat as beef. A 3 oz T bone steak contains 8.5 grams of fat; a 3 oz pork chop contains 18 grams of fat. A 3 oz beef rib has 11.1 grams of fat; a 3 oz pork spare rib has 23.2 grams of fat.

Cows have a complex digestive system, having four stomachs. It thus takes over 24 hours to digest their vegetarian diet causing its food to be purified of toxins. In contrast, the swine's one stomach takes only about 4 hours to digest its foul diet, turning its toxic food into flesh.

The swine carries about 30 diseases which can be easily passed to humans. This is why God commanded that we are not even to touch their carcase (Leviticus 11:8).

The trichinae worm of the swine is microscopically small, and once ingested can lodge itself in our intestines, muscles, spinal cord or the brain. This results in the disease trichinosis. The symptoms are sometimes lacking, but when present they are mistaken for other diseases, such as typhoid, arthritis, rheumatism, gastritis, MS, meningitis, gall bladder trouble, or acute alcoholism.

The pig is so poisonous and filthy, that nature had to prepare him a sewer line or canal running down each leg with an outlet in the bottom of the foot. Out of this hole oozes pus and filth his body cannot pass into its system fast enough. Some of this pus gets into the meat of the pig.

There are other reasons grounded in biological facts that could be listed to show why pigs and swine should not be eaten. But a true Christian should only need one reason why not to eat this type of food because God prohibited it.

"And the swine, because it divides the hoof, yet does not chew the cud, it is unclean unto you: you shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase." - Leviticus 11:7,8; Deuteronomy 14:8

Those who say Christ abolished the law condemning pork are motivated by their stomach not Scripture. The problems with pork are biological, and Christ never changed the laws of biology.

Ummm, my friend, you kindly need to be reproved:

"It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles."

Be humble.

[thebestthereis]

i am converting to metric i think

[Cougar Bait]

Seriously Coug this is being made a much bigger deal than it actually is

http://www.jewishfederations.org/page.aspx?id=27282

If you want to convert Reform then they do not require this.

As I said earlier Judaism is not really a recruiting religion and they want you to be sure you want to convert. Think of it as a test.

What are the downsides to just going reform? Will I be thought less of?

[Odessa]

The focus on relationships, the true bond between those of the Jewish faith.

I am seriously considering it.

Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli and her boyfriend, popular American actor Leonardo DiCaprio, arrived in Israel for a vacation under heavy security.
The couple, who arrived Sunday, were accompanied by DiCaprio’s mother, Irmelin, and actor Kevin Connolly of “Entourage.” They arrived in Israel after visiting Jordan and Egypt as part of celebrations for DiCaprio’s 36th birthday, according to reports.
The group is staying at a Tel Aviv hotel, though Refaeli’s parents live in nearby Hod Hasharon. They plan to visit the Western Wall, nightclubs, the Dead Sea and other tourist destinations, according to reports.
During a visit 3 1/2 years ago, the couple were constantly mobbed with paparazzi, culminating in a brawl between DiCaprio’s bodyguards and photographers during a visit to the Western Wall. DiCaprio left the country early and insisted he would never visit Israel again.
DiCaprio’s mother and Connolly have never visited Israel before.

[itchypickle]

What are the downsides to just going reform? Will I be thought less of?

Coug....Reform Jews make up the biggest part of American Jews. We aren't thought of any less or more. We don't get caught up in all of the who's better Jew or bad Jew like the old blue hair Baptist ladies or Evangelicals.

[yisman]

Most Jews not observant.

[Blacke]

Do it for the jokes.

[Nickelicious]

What are the downsides to just going reform? Will I be thought less of?

You will not be thought less of if you convert to Reform Judaism, unless you travel to Israel, where most Jews are extremely Orthodox and won't even consider you to be Jewish (especially as a convert). But around the rest of the world, you will be welcomed by both Reform and Conservative Jews, who usually get along pretty well together. And American Orthodox Jews won't think any less of you than they do of all Reform Jews, which is to say you are barely a Jew if you aren't an Orthodox Jew.

The Orthodox Jews, frankly, are a little nuts in my mind, with their strident observation of tradition. I consider them the Jehovah's Witnesses of Judaism and I have a hard time associating with them, even though most are super nice people. The Reform and Conservative divisions are the easiest to assimilate into and give you the most flexibility. Reform Judaism is a unique religion in many ways and has a lot to offer open-minded spiritualists.

One of the many unique tenets of Judaism that makes it different than Christianity is that sexual intercourse is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce.

The Talmud even specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation. The husband is not even supposed to take an extended business trip, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations.

But fukkin is by no means a one-way street in Judaism. Although sex is the woman's right, a wife may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement. It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse.

Jewish children are taught that sex is never to be considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer ra (the evil impulse), it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer ra. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled, satisfied at the proper time, place and manner. But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah (a good act of kindness).

[itchypickle]

You will not be thought less of if you convert to Reform Judaism, unless you travel to Israel, where most Jews are extremely Orthodox and won't even consider you to be Jewish (especially as a convert). But around the rest of the world, you will be welcomed by both Reform and Conservative Jews, who usually get along pretty well together. And American Orthodox Jews won't think any less of you than they do of all Reform Jews, which is to say you are barely a Jew if you aren't an Orthodox Jew.

The Orthodox Jews, frankly, are a little nuts in my mind, with their strident observation of tradition. I consider them the Jehovah's Witnesses of Judaism and I have a hard time associating with them, even though most are super nice people. The Reform and Conservative divisions are the easiest to assimilate into and give you the most flexibility. Reform Judaism is a unique religion in many ways and has a lot to offer open-minded spiritualists.

One of the many unique tenets of Judaism that makes it different than Christianity is that sexual intercourse is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce.

The Talmud even specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation. The husband is not even supposed to take an extended business trip, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations.

But fukkin is by no means a one-way street in Judaism. Although sex is the woman's right, a wife may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement. It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse.

Jewish children are taught that sex is never to be considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer ra (the evil impulse), it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer ra. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled, satisfied at the proper time, place and manner. But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah (a good act of kindness).

Jewish councils in Israel are more strict....but the 18-30 crowds....not so much....ever party in Israel??

And as far as sex....just look at King David the guy was a man whore and the only way they knew his was dying was by putting multiple girls in his bed and his sudden disinterest was a sure sign of impending death....how can you argue with that kind of life

[Grind-It-Out]

Lots of tradition, the religion seems more concerned with actions than beliefs. The focus on relationships, the true bond between those of the Jewish faith.

I am seriously considering it.

It's no more ridiculous than any other religion, so go for it.

OR, be open-minded, do some research, and figure out just how silly the concept of a higher power is.

[Nickelicious]

Jewish councils in Israel are more strict....but the 18-30 crowds....not so much....ever party in Israel??

And as far as sex....just look at King David the guy was a man whore and the only way they knew his was dying was by putting multiple girls in his bed and his sudden disinterest was a sure sign of impending death....how can you argue with that kind of life

You're right, itchypickle, the disregard for reform Jews in Israel is much greater within the organized councils, but there is plenty of oppression on the streets, too, including the younger people (who can be some of the most fanatical).

But no doubt, there are some open-minded people in Israel who are much more progressive. I have not ever visited, but I've heard from others who had a great time.

[d2bets]

Why waste your time with any religion?

[horsiehung]

what ever happened here

[Cougar Bait]

It's no more ridiculous than any other religion, so go for it.

OR, be open-minded, do some research, and figure out just how silly the concept of a higher power is.

I grew up in a pentecostal family but my Yaya and Papouli (Grandmother and Grandfather) were Greek Orthodox. I have always considered myself more spiritual than religious though, and just think it is time to consider Judaism. From what I have read on my own and from some of the posts here, I think this could be a good fit. But since it is an extremely important one, I want to make sure it is the right decision. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I am of the belief that there is a higher power. In fact, I don't even know what all this nonsense (life) would even be for if it weren't the case.