[Auto Donk]

my prospective children would be like, "man, this pussy stink..... where's the egg???? Fuk, are we in a corn field???"

[Smoke]

A nice tight corn field

[StackinGreen]

Donk, good or bad idea to video chat with a girl before a meet up (already sends pics)

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Who is that loser pepe with her?

Bodyguard.

[Auto Donk]

Donk, good or bad idea to video chat with a girl before a meet up (already sends pics)

id have to see a photo of you vs. how you really look.... if the photos you sent were from ten years ago, you probably don't want to video chat before meeting.... if they were accurate, sure! that way you can tell if the photos she sent you were from ten years ago, or sixty-five pounds ago.....

[Smoke]

Bodyguard.

Thought that was the guy she married?

[Auto Donk]

if it's her body gaurd, i suggest a full speed chase. he'll drop out after about thirty yards, then you can loop back around and ass rape the defenseless ms. simpson as he lays there exhausted

[StackinGreen]

id have to see a photo of you vs. how you really look.... if the photos you sent were from ten years ago, you probably don't want to video chat before meeting.... if they were accurate, sure! that way you can tell if the photos she sent you were from ten years ago, or sixty-five pounds ago.....

Donk is sharp.

The pics are still relevant but I worry about that weird photo bending of your head that happens when you have a smartphone or webcam thing right in front of you, ya know?

[Auto Donk]

Donk is sharp.

The pics are still relevant but I worry about that weird photo bending of your head that happens when you have a smartphone or webcam thing right in front of you, ya know?

that, and this:

if you're not packin' avoid this trick as well..... she might want to size you up, man hood wise, under the guise of getting a little frisky, but in reality she is trying to get a read on whether you have enough of what she's really lookin' for.....

if youre light in the pants, avoid the video chat bullshit.....

I've known several women who told me after going thru with a date with a decent lookin' guy and finding him unfortunately small, they went ahead and fukked him b/c he was there, had spent money on them, and it was too late to call me..... BUT had they known he was JJ-esque in the crotchal region, they'd have never gone out with the guy..... If that is you, don't risk getting turned down before you get the chance to meet and close the deal....

one hot babe even called me at 8:00 am on a friday morning after some dude sportin a schshort (as opposed to a schlong) had left after a thursday night out.... she said she was so frustrated she'd pay me to get my ass over there (in drugs, not money).....

like George Strait's tune, the Fireman, I was over there in less than 30 mins..... being your own boss has its benefits..... got her taken care of real quick.....

[DiggityDaggityDo]

if it's her body gaurd, i suggest a full speed chase. he'll drop out after about thirty yards, then you can loop back around and ass rape the defenseless ms. simpson as he lays there exhausted

[Swinging Johnson]

She is one of my all-time prime pieces of Grade A fem filet. That being said, I actually think her boobs are now too big. Is that possible or am I just being that obnoxious guy who says irritating things? I vote for the latter.

[stevek173]

Nah I thought the same thing. Something about them ain't sexy....too big and saggy IMO.

[DiggityDaggityDo]

They are pretty damn big.

[Smoke]

Oh my

[StackinGreen]

that, and this:

if you're not packin' avoid this trick as well..... she might want to size you up, man hood wise, under the guise of getting a little frisky, but in reality she is trying to get a read on whether you have enough of what she's really lookin' for.....

if youre light in the pants, avoid the video chat bullshit.....

I've known several women who told me after going thru with a date with a decent lookin' guy and finding him unfortunately small, they went ahead and fukked him b/c he was there, had spent money on them, and it was too late to call me..... BUT had they known he was JJ-esque in the crotchal region, they'd have never gone out with the guy..... If that is you, don't risk getting turned down before you get the chance to meet and close the deal....

one hot babe even called me at 8:00 am on a friday morning after some dude sportin a schshort (as opposed to a schlong) had left after a thursday night out.... she said she was so frustrated she'd pay me to get my ass over there (in drugs, not money).....

like George Strait's tune, the Fireman, I was over there in less than 30 mins..... being your own boss has its benefits..... got her taken care of real quick.....

I hear you, I'm straight forward on this forum because if you aren't, it doesn't do you any good.

In your estimation (or these women's words), what is JJ, what is reasonable, and what is Donk-ish?

This has never been a problem for me, but I'm not an idiot who goes on forums and claims that he's got a huge dick or anything. I know that this girl realizes that I have girth, which is more important, but I don't feel the need to use social media as opposed to real life; just seems sorta silly for little or nothing.

Are you saying there really some dudes out there that have like 3-4 inch dicks? I always found that sorta hard to believe, LOL. I wonder what exactly the women complain about, given that they aren't that great in estimating size anyway ...

[Auto Donk]

if memory serves me right (it's hard to keep a full working knowledge of all female celebrities' rack sizes in my head, tho I'm pretty damn good at it).... this ho made a big deal about having her implants removed a while back......

looks like she missed all the attention her first set of fake got after she had them removed (typical dumb c-word's reaction to removal, after having their fake define their existence for years), and needed to be "noticed" more, so she got even bigger fake than she initially had installed/later removed....

which, of course, is yet another very typical dumb c-word reaction to fake and what they do to a dumb c-word's mental state of mind...... and why they generally keep gettin' them bigger and bigger until you can practically stamp "Goodyear" on the side of those things.....

[reigle9]

I'm not one for huge , but that's some body she has there.

Brittany posted ab pics on fb recently. I wouldn't know her if I walked by her. She looks nothing like I remember.

[SBRMAN23]

I had no clue her were that big my gawd I would have a sucking fest

[Auto Donk]

I hear you, I'm straight forward on this forum because if you aren't, it doesn't do you any good.

In your estimation (or these women's words), what is JJ, what is reasonable, and what is Donk-ish?

This has never been a problem for me, but I'm not an idiot who goes on forums and claims that he's got a huge dick or anything. I know that this girl realizes that I have girth, which is more important, but I don't feel the need to use social media as opposed to real life; just seems sorta silly for little or nothing.

Are you saying there really some dudes out there that have like 3-4 inch dicks? I always found that sorta hard to believe, LOL. I wonder what exactly the women complain about, given that they aren't that great in estimating size anyway ...

the babe in the example I gave (friday morning hookup) said "he was tiny...." I didn't ask for details. another babe once said "I think he had micropenis"..... JJ has often said he's in the 2.something-inch range (I have absolutely no way of confirming his shortage). Gotta believe they don't get much smaller than that....

Howard Stern used to obsess about his shortage (which was probably amplified due to his hulking height), but he was relieved to hear that avg. kahk when hard is around 5.5", which he claimed he was.....

If you got 6.5-8, your on the good side of the bell curve..... you got more than 9, you should head toward San Fernando Valley and I'll watch you in action in a year or two once your vids hit the "free porn" circuit....

If she already knows something about your girth, but not length, that is somewhat odd..... why only give half the stat, or only ask for half the stat? maybe she's only concerned that you might fall in if not packin' sufficient girth? did she say "by the way, in addition to a bottle of wine, you might wanna pick up a couple of two-by-fours and some rope on your way over" (so you could strap them the 2x4's accross your ass to keep from falling in)?

all kidding aside, I wouldn't worry about it if you've never had any complaints..... other than the very small, I think the no. 1 complaint women have is that the mutha fukka couldn't get it hard, or keep it hard.....

there's a great joke to tell if you were here in person, which is "you know why women are so bad at judging distance?" you say, "why?" I hold up my thumb and forefinger (a span of about 3-4"), and say, "because men are always telling them that this is 10".....

[Smoke]

You would never need to buy milk again

[JIBBBY]

She's pushing maximum density fellas!! She's got Rhonda Rousey syndrome.. An obese girl just screaming to get out...

[Smoke]

Stop.

[Auto Donk]

Jeezus... you're gonna need ten inches just to anally invade that bunghole with that much ass cheek protecting the fort.....

[Smoke]

not if you spread those ass cheeks apart

[Auto Donk]

ps... and get ready for a little stench, as with cheeks, thighs and a gut as big as those you can rest assured she can't reach it to wipe

[Smoke]

lick the doo doo off then first

[Smoke]

Lick it clean then spray sumthin

[SBRMAN23]

Your a nasty dude Smoke lol

[DiggityDaggityDo]

lick the doo doo off then first

Lick it clean then spray sumthin

[Smoke]

Donker met his match. I gets freaky

[gauchojake]

i eat the pussy i eat the butt i eat every goddamn thing

[Auto Donk]

Donker met his match. I gets freaky

i'll see your ten, and raise you twenty with this little ditty.....:

around valentines day a few years back, my babe and I were late night freakin', when I saw the box of chocolate truffles off to the side of the bed..... really hi dollar ones....

as i'd already been tossin' salad, I reached over and grabbed three of em, and slipped em up her previously well fooked back door (no deposits, as in none she needed to make, and none by me), minutes later, she was reverse cowgirl riding my face, pushin' those truffles out .... ate all three of em while she jerked one out of me.... she damn near prolapsed on my face gettin the last of that chocolate out....

half hour later, more truffles, and now the phrase "chocostick" has a whole new meaning round the donk household.... hard anal followed by her "atm-ing" me with the chocostick -- she got at taste of those truffles herself -- and of course another load....

melt in her ass, not in her hand....

[Lookingtostart]

What the hell is wrong with people? She never had it, who likes a girl with masculine jaw?

[StackinGreen]

Donk-ster

Do you try to hold off for a long time (pre-BJ and bonin') before you make them swallow your pride? At what point (even if you can go again) do you just say, "F it, you're gonna swallow this load" and then just wait until you reboot

[Auto Donk]

haha.... not even gonna brag about what all i can do in that regard....

tho I will give you an awesome tip to use....

it's called the "SUPER LOAD"....

to really make this impressive, follow these steps....

in a session, as you get close, pull out and hold off, let it subside.... then build it up again, but don't shoot, let it subside.... now, the next time, make sure she's in a position to see you shoot and have it land on her.... either facial or stomach and ... (preferably the latter, as this is gonna be a HUGE F'N STREAM....)

OK, WITH HER LAID BACK, AND PREFERABLY YOU SITTING UP.... when you get their the third time, pull out.... (you'll be sitting up, holding your crank -- quasi missionary).... now.... as you're ready to blow, squeeze your head/hole so that it cannot escape..... Hold it tight as you shoot so that none escapes... Now, after about the sixth "quirt" you would have ordinarily shot, LET LOOSE OF THE HEAD AND LET THE WHOLE F'N THING FLY AT ONCE.....

IT WILL BE A SEVERAL FOOT LONG STING OF GIZZ FLYING ACROSS HER ALL AT ONCE..... she will forever be impressed..... and covered from face to pubic bone with one long SUPER LOAD.....

AND NO, (and believe me I was worried about this possibility the first time I tried it after seeing some dude do it in an old porno) -- YOU WILL NOT BLOW YOUR NUTS OUT BY HOLDING IT IN..... I thought for sure "this is gonna hurt my balls some how..... BUT IT DIDN'T ... NOT ONE BIT.....).... AND the babe I pulled it on came immediately (she was rubbin her clit as I pulled out to shoot it), as the mere site of it totally got her off......

good luck.....