[Auto Donk]

the big news of the day is apparently that some middle-aged punks nicknamed -- I shit you not -- the "Bay Boys" are coming under fire for keeping, as they call them, "kooks", from surfing on their "turf."

Come again????? Bay Boys? in their late 30's to 50's? Harassing????

http://www.latimes.com/local/califor...211-story.html

this rough and tumble group of surfers will throw dirt at you, egg your car, and/or try to surf into you if you happen to catch a wave amid all the rock- and egg-peltings......

they say EXTREMELY intimidating shit like, "DDDDuuuuuuddddeeeee..... Staaayyyyy awaaaayyy, DDDuuuddeeeee, or we'll haaasssssssllleeeeee you, ddduuuuddeeeee."

If you say some edgy shit like "Hello" to them, they'll damn near verbally rip your head off with this tough-ass zinger (sends chills down my spine just typing it): "Goodbye"

Wow!!! Obviously, these Cali boys are some tough-ass mother fukkers!!!! That "hello"/"goodbye" thing has always made me cower in fear since I first heard it while attending pre-K some forty years ago......

Fresh out of rehab for my second rotator cuff surgery to repair the complete tear I acquired knocking some Daytona Beach M.C. biker clean the fuk out, I guess I'm ready to move up to the big leagues and head further west than Vegas for my next road trip......

Anyone got a surfboard I can borrow???

There's only one stretch of beach I want to surf in Cali, and it happens to be smack dab in the middle of their "turf."

and if any of you have access to those cool personalized t-shirt making machines, prep one up for me along the lines of "Bay Boys = Gay Boys"

again, Cali "men" are the sad reason the Japs ever attacked us in the first place..... only the f'n French compare on the f'n wussiness scale.....

[Auto Donk]

WARNING: UNDERCOVER "BAY BOY" FOOTAGE (PARENTAL DISCRETION DEFINITELY ADVISED -- IF YOU ARE A CALIFORNIA PUSSY):



AGAIN, someone please come up with a surf board for me in fairly short order.....

and yes, I to thought, surely when typing his article, the author mistakenly hit the "b" key instead of the "g" key.... the "b" is right above it, you know.....

I look forward to being "burned" every single wave I catch

as one B(g)ay Boy pointed out, this shit is very serious..... "like Facebook"

hahahahahahahaha...................

[Auto Donk]

holy shit..... vicious attack upcoming......

I may need back up......

this video shocked my conscience:

[mcaulay777]

This is real life Point Break.All we need now is Bunker and War Child.

[Auto Donk]

now I see why alternative-lifestyler Keanu was cast as the lead.....

"stay away, ddduuuddeeee".....

Kook: "good morning"
Keanu: "good morning now that you're leaving"

tough

[Auto Donk]

If i'm going to have to fight anthony keidas and some other locals like Keanu did, I will need a better back-up man than this brain-dead crackhead.....

[Auto Donk]

much like I expected, the women are the toughest "men" on the beach:



this creates somewhat of a perplexing dilemma for me, as the question arises, is hitting a california "bay boy" the same as hitting a girl???

I don't hit girls.... these B(g)ay Boys appear to be an even lesser challenge

[JAKEPEAVY21]

sounds funny but I've seen it many times

surfers very territorial and gang up against those on their turf

[Auto Donk]

sounds funny but I've seen it many times

surfers very territorial and gang up against those on their turf

unknowingly, I think I was dealing with this when I stayed in Manhattan Beach with my second cousin (a big surfer) while taking the cali bar exam....

saw this group of apparent locals eyeing me while surfing a bit, i figured it was just because they wanted a piece of ass (I was about as buff as I'd ever been back in 1990)....

apparently they wanted to kick my ass, not bang it

[BrickJames]

now I see why alternative-lifestyler Keanu was cast as the lead.....

"stay away, ddduuuddeeee".....

Kook: "good morning"
Keanu: "good morning now that you're leaving"

tough

Kook: "don't write a check your ass can't cash"

Keanu: "my ass doesn't even have a checking account!"

[Auto Donk]

Kook: "don't write a check your ass can't cash"

Keanu: "my ass doesn't even have a checking account!"

Kook: "But it does have a well-used Jailhouse Wallet -- The Velvet Mafia told me so!!!!"

[gauchojake]

Donk these old guys are crazy

[Auto Donk]

when men ages 40-55 key and egg your car just for carrying a board out to surf waves in a rock infested cove, the shit is definitely out of wack....

I still laff tho, at those Cali surfer dude accents on the video clip above.... "staaaayy awwaaaayyyy..... we'll haassslleee you, duudddeeee"

watching a few of the vids, tho, I see the f'n problem.... it's a relatively tiny cove, and it's covered with mutha fckas, even with the strong resistance by locals to outsiders.....

that's one of the big problems I saw when living in newport beach back in the early 90's when I was fresh out of law school.... So Cal just has too many f'n people living there..... no room for error in anything you do, or you're gonna invade someone's space.....

[gauchojake]

The place where they are surfing is a very confined spot and you have to climb down a fukkin' cliff to get there. I don't want to have to worry about some old fukker pushing me down a cliff just to catch some waves. Plus who wants to drive to PV to surf anyway? Nightmare.

You are right about too many people living here. It's too much. As soon as I get a few things taken care of I am getting out of this city and the greater LA metro area. The wife and I went downtown last night for dinner and a movie and it took almost an hour to get less than 20 miles. I pay a lot for that privileged.

[Auto Donk]

i was lucky during my stint there.... lived right off pch, walk to the beach, worked in the hi-rise connected to the performing arts center in costa mesa across from s.coast plaza.... straight shot up the 55 to work, took all of 10-15 mins, same with coming home....

from laguna up to huntington beach was a ton of shit to do right off pch, and irvine/nbeach provided plenty of fine dining, materialism, and fun in general.... partner had a house on balboa island and a big ass boat we took out regularly..... fun times

hated having to drive to la cnty superior cts; was the only drawback.......

[Nut_Flopper]

Funny this is becoming an issue lately in the news. I live about 2-3 miles from PV/Lunada Bay in Redondo Beach. That shit has been going on since I can remember and I am almost 50. I have never had an incident but they will slash your tires throw a rock through your windshield or beat your ass if you are by yourself depending on who is out and their current mood but it is not as bad as the news is telling it. It's a very tight local scene and always has been. You have to go out of your way to get to their "turf". Like Gauchojake said you literally have to climb down a cliff but they have conveniently installed ropes if you know where to go. I used to climb those cliffs and hike along the coast all the time when I was younger and they never messed with me. Just don't show up with an attitude like you own the place and you should be ok.

And yes there is waaaay too many penetrating people in the LA area. Even my sleepy little beach town is getting over run.

[jjgold]

I do not get it

Who is who??

Who does not want who on the beach?

Automan can you imagine if they started shit with you??

[Auto Donk]

the locals don't want any non-locals to surf the cove, dude.... the cove that is lunada bay is tiny and full of surfers on good days..... most of the locals that surf there are rather accomplished surfers, and expectations are high..... locals might accept very accomplished outsiders if they can surf good, and are polite and stay the fuk outta the way of the regulars. You can earn respect and work your way into this clique....

Of course, I call bullshit on all that....

Being a beginner and outsider, I will certainly piss people off the second I slither into the water and they see my chartreuse-bright yellow wet suit with the following statement across the back and front in big bold black letters:

SUCK
IT
BAY
BOYS


One thing I learned growing up in Corpus, where a little town called Flour Bluff is located right on the beach -- between Corpus and padre island, is that when you fight an every day surfer, and you punch him, salt/sand go a flying into the air, in all directions. The shit can get in your eyes if you're not careful.

That's why we called those Bluff Boys down in south Texas "salt shakers." I expect to have the salt and sand a flying when I visit the Cove....

Nevertheless, to sum it up, it's a turf war with self-appointed locals policing the area and starting shit with anyone that looks like they don't belong or that they don't recognize..... particularly single males.... I wouldn't recommend you go on one of your infamous jaunts down to the shore JJ while packing a surfboard.....

As for me, to really make a splash and get the attention of the Bay Boys, I'm going to get one of those retro boards that measures about 18 to 20 feet in length... Figure with that much board I'll be "burning" regulars every f'n wave, dude!!!!

(It's more probable that my mammoth-sized board will take out one or two Bay Boys on its own, as I'll be falling off pretty much immediately and letting the waves do what they do with the board). I may make a validation vid after, and perhaps during, the shit goin' down.....

I hope to get the biggest board possible, something like the biggest fukker in this photo:



I should be able to hurt some regulars with it.... Fuk, it will be impossible not to make some contact with some Bay Boys with a board this big.... that place is crowded as shit

below is a screenshot of a typical day with descent waves at Palos Verdes (Lunada Bay)... my board will not be ignored -- target rich environment for sure!!!! As you can see, with a barge-sized board it's almost impossible NOT to make contact with other surfers:

[jjgold]

Automan you should go there and see if they fuk with you

It would be an epic video