1. #1
    ttwarrior1
    ttwarrior1's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 06-23-09
    Posts: 28,301
    Betpoints: 9800

    ttwarriors daily joke thread. Only 1 a day

    A guy named Penis Von Lesbian came from Austria to America to become an actor.
    He went to lots of auditions, but never got a job. Finally one director took him aside and said, "Son, the only reason we're turning you away is your name. If you want to make it in this town, you gotta change the name!" But Penis Von Lesbian said "I can't do that! This is my real name!" The director said "Suit yourself!" and went on his way.
    Years and years later, their paths crossed again. The director said, "I remember you! You're Penis Von Lesbian! Did you ever get around to changing your name?" The actor said, 'Yes, and it helped! Now I go by Dick Van Dyke."




    ps: lakers miami: under

  2. #2
    thetrinity
    penetrate me to tears
    thetrinity's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 01-25-11
    Posts: 22,430
    Betpoints: 5536

    Fail

  3. #3
    Russian Rocket
    Kleptoman
    Russian Rocket's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-02-12
    Posts: 43,910
    Betpoints: 533

    wow

  4. #4
    Swinging Johnson
    Swinging Johnson's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 08-12-09
    Posts: 7,604
    Betpoints: 5626


  5. #5
    doublej95
    Co Power Poster 2011
    doublej95's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 01-26-10
    Posts: 14,094
    Betpoints: 19

    isn't every tt post a joke.
    Nomination(s):
    This post was nominated 4 times . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: RubberKettle, InTheDrink, Frank-King, and ttwarrior1

  6. #6
    face
    face's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 01-31-11
    Posts: 14,740
    Betpoints: 201

    or gtfo

  7. #7
    InTheDrink
    Drinker of the Year
    InTheDrink's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 11-23-09
    Posts: 23,983
    Betpoints: 527

    what a waste of forum space

    saloon immediately

  8. #8
    ttwarrior1
    ttwarrior1's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 06-23-09
    Posts: 28,301
    Betpoints: 9800

    waste of forum space is you inthestink

  9. #9
    spankie
    Long Live Rodney!
    spankie's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 02-10-11
    Posts: 9,992

    didn't even giggle.

  10. #10
    Grits n' Gravy
    Bigdaddyqh diddles kids
    Grits n' Gravy's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 06-10-10
    Posts: 13,024
    Betpoints: 41120

    what's fat, dim witted and lies all the time?








    tt

  11. #11
    William Walters
    William Walters's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 01-17-11
    Posts: 6,372
    Betpoints: 233


  12. #12
    Dirty Sanchez
    Two time SBR Academy Award winner
    Dirty Sanchez's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 03-01-10
    Posts: 16,031
    Betpoints: 26


  13. #13
    Chili_Powder
    Chili_Powder's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-22-11
    Posts: 824
    Betpoints: 123

    not bad

  14. #14
    jose21_us
    The Miami Connection
    jose21_us's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 05-24-10
    Posts: 3,833
    Betpoints: 11236

    Ive heard worse....

  15. #15
    Frank-King
    Frank-King's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 05-25-12
    Posts: 536
    Betpoints: 7167


  16. #16
    Mitchell88
    Mitchell88's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-16-12
    Posts: 4,334
    Betpoints: 37

    how is he not banned?

  17. #17
    PAULYPOKER
    I slipped Tricky Dick a hit of LSD!
    PAULYPOKER's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-06-08
    Posts: 36,585

    Here is the 1st joke of the thread.............


  18. #18
    boombaby1987
    boombaby1987's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 10-03-12
    Posts: 103
    Betpoints: 30


  19. #19
    ttwarrior1
    ttwarrior1's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 06-23-09
    Posts: 28,301
    Betpoints: 9800

    weak, is this the best you got

  20. #20
    InTheDrink
    Drinker of the Year
    InTheDrink's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 11-23-09
    Posts: 23,983
    Betpoints: 527

    Quote Originally Posted by ttwarrior1 View Post
    weak, is this the best you got
    youre the most disliked poster in the history of sbr

    congrats

  21. #21
    ttwarrior1
    ttwarrior1's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 06-23-09
    Posts: 28,301
    Betpoints: 9800

    lol , not even close.

    When Im disliked by people like you, that is a good thing, since i think nothing of your or your buddies.

    You're a drunk piece of scum

  22. #22
    Stallion
    Update your status
    Stallion's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 03-21-10
    Posts: 3,586
    Betpoints: 16714

    Not funny.

  23. #23
    PAULYPOKER
    I slipped Tricky Dick a hit of LSD!
    PAULYPOKER's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-06-08
    Posts: 36,585

    Titty is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!

  24. #24
    PAULYPOKER
    I slipped Tricky Dick a hit of LSD!
    PAULYPOKER's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-06-08
    Posts: 36,585

    Twofat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
    The other one says "So are you, you fat pig!"

  25. #25
    MUHerd37
    Status Your Update.
    MUHerd37's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 10-23-09
    Posts: 12,816
    Betpoints: 10678

    Quote Originally Posted by William Walters View Post

  26. #26
    InTheDrink
    Drinker of the Year
    InTheDrink's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 11-23-09
    Posts: 23,983
    Betpoints: 527



    Quote Originally Posted by thetrinity View Post
    Fail
    Quote Originally Posted by doublej95 View Post
    isn't every tt post a joke.
    Quote Originally Posted by spankie View Post
    didn't even giggle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Grits n' Gravy View Post
    what's fat, dim witted and lies all the time?








    tt
    Quote Originally Posted by Dirty Sanchez View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mitchell88 View Post
    how is he not banned?
    Quote Originally Posted by PAULYPOKER View Post
    Here is the 1st joke of the thread.............

    Quote Originally Posted by boombaby1987 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Stallion View Post
    Not funny.
    Quote Originally Posted by PAULYPOKER View Post
    Titty is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!

  27. #27
    Stallion
    Update your status
    Stallion's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 03-21-10
    Posts: 3,586
    Betpoints: 16714

    Not funny either.

  28. #28
    PAULYPOKER
    I slipped Tricky Dick a hit of LSD!
    PAULYPOKER's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-06-08
    Posts: 36,585

    Hey Titty,

    If hot air makes a balloon go up what's keeping you down?

  29. #29
    PAULYPOKER
    I slipped Tricky Dick a hit of LSD!
    PAULYPOKER's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-06-08
    Posts: 36,585

    The rather broad Titty showed up at the theatre just before the performance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where's the other party?" asked the usher. "Well," said the Titty, with a blush, "you see one seat is a little small for me and rather uncomfortable so I bought two. But they're both really for me." "Okay with me, Sir," the usher replied, scratching his head. "There's just one problem. Your seats are numbers fifty-one and sixty-three."

  30. #30
    easyliving
    easyliving's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 06-25-12
    Posts: 8,876
    Betpoints: 11

    i thought this was "daily"

  31. #31
    Swinging Johnson
    Swinging Johnson's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 08-12-09
    Posts: 7,604
    Betpoints: 5626

    TT, if it's any consolation I liked your joke and your moustache makes you look very distinguished.

  32. #32
    Fidel_CashFlow
    Fidel_CashFlow's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-03-12
    Posts: 53,995
    Betpoints: 30419

    worse then one could of expected

  33. #33
    Dutch
    Honky Lips
    Dutch's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-21-10
    Posts: 4,339
    Betpoints: 736

    Quote Originally Posted by PAULYPOKER View Post
    Here is the 1st joke of the thread.............


    My dude T pulls of the stand alone 'stach. Fuk a goatee.

  34. #34
    ttwarrior1
    ttwarrior1's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 06-23-09
    Posts: 28,301
    Betpoints: 9800

    Q: What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? A: In a casino, you really mean it



    Vegas Wives Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation. The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, "7 come 11" all night & I haven't had a wink of sleep!" The second guy says "I know what you mean...my old lady played black jack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers "hit me light or hit me hard", and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!" The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each morning with a sore dick and an a$$ full of quarters."

    A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the lottery!'
    Martha replies, 'Should I pack for warm weather or cold?'
    The man responds, 'I don't care. Just get out!'

  35. #35
    ttwarrior1
    ttwarrior1's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 06-23-09
    Posts: 28,301
    Betpoints: 9800

    Rearrange the letters: SLOT MACHINES.
    Answer: CASH LOST IN EM.


    A blonde is in Vegas vacationing with her friends. She walks to a candy machine and puts in two coins. She turns the knob and a candy bar falls out.
    She picks up the candy bar and puts it in her pocket. Then she puts two more coins into the slot and turns the knob; again a candy bar falls out and she puts it in her pocket.
    The blonde smiles, puts two more coins into the machine and again turns the knob, producing yet another candy bar.
    A man has been watching from a short distance away and walks up to the blonde. He says, `Excuse me, miss, what are you doing?`
    The blonde replies, 'Duh! I'm winning here!'






12 Last
Top