1. 06-14-17 06:07 AM #1
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
    Auto Donk's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-03-13
    Posts: 43,564
    Betpoints: 48

    Man's wife such an unbearabe ho he commits felonies to get away from her.....

    Man chooses jail over wife — robs bank, sits in lobby until arrested, FBI says




    Home? Or jail?


    Wife? Or sheriff’s deputies? Such choices.


    Federal authorities say Larry Ripple chose a life behind bars over another minute at home with the wife. On Friday afternoon, according to a complaint filed in federal court, Ripple, 70, walked into the Bank of Labor in downtown Kansas City, Kan., handed over a note to a teller which said, “I have a gun, give me your cash,” and was given $2,924 in currency from the drawer. (Now is the part where we typically write, “The robber then fled the bank.”)

    The robber then took a seat in the lobby and began chatting with the bank security guard, the complaint by Special Agent Eric R. Beltz states. All of this was captured on surveillance video. “I’m the guy you’re looking for,” Ripple allegedly told the guard. The guard took Ripple into custody and retrieved the $2,924, Beltz wrote. The police and FBI were summoned, and Ripple was taken to the police station. (This story was first reported by the Kansas City Star’s ace courts reporter, Tony Rizzo.)
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. 06-14-17 07:04 AM #2
    NUTSonYAchin
    NUTSonYAchin's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 05-08-17
    Posts: 337
    Betpoints: 378

    can't blame him. Marriage is probably worse than jail
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. 06-14-17 08:00 AM #3
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
    Auto Donk's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-03-13
    Posts: 43,564
    Betpoints: 48

    true, as in jail, you can force your bunkmate to suck your dick without fear of getting your dick superglued to your thigh or flat-out chopped off once you fall asleep......

    (just be sure he doesn't have a shank)
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 06-14-17 12:22 PM #4
    SharpAngles
    SharpAngles's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 04-15-14
    Posts: 9,467
    Betpoints: 1638

    Donker left out the best part...

    KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) — A 71-year-old man who said he robbed a Kansas City, Kansas, bank so he could get away from his wife blamed his actions on depression.
    A federal judge on Tuesday sentenced Lawrence John Ripple to six months of home confinement and 50 hours of community service.

    A+ punishment from the judge here
    Nomination(s):
    This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: Auto Donk
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote 1
  5. 06-14-17 12:38 PM #5
    stevek173
    stevek173's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 03-29-08
    Posts: 27,589
    Betpoints: 5964

    The reason that's ironic is because his wife lives at home and now he is stuck at home all the time with her.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 06-14-17 12:54 PM #6
    rkelly110
    rkelly110's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 10-05-09
    Posts: 39,172
    Betpoints: 10576

    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    true, as in jail, you can force your bunkmate to suck your dick without fear of getting your dick superglued to your thigh or flat-out chopped off once you fall asleep......

    (just be sure he doesn't have a shank)
    You would know this.... how?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 06-14-17 01:11 PM #7
    jtoler
    jtoler's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-17-13
    Posts: 30,967
    Betpoints: 6337

    Unreal, commits crime to get away only to be forced to be with her.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 06-14-17 02:09 PM #8
    stevek173
    stevek173's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 03-29-08
    Posts: 27,589
    Betpoints: 5964

    More importantly, what is that in Donker's avatar?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 06-14-17 02:17 PM #9
    blap10
    blap10's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 06-28-16
    Posts: 426
    Betpoints: 1449

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 06-14-17 04:15 PM #10
    Otters27
    Otters27's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 07-14-07
    Posts: 30,688
    Betpoints: 422

    Why doesn't he just divorce her.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 06-14-17 05:04 PM #11
    thechaoz
    2019 SBRs Toughest Poster
    thechaoz's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 10-23-09
    Posts: 12,155
    Betpoints: 35902

    Quote Originally Posted by Otters27 View Post
    Why doesn't he just divorce her.
    This is why you don't get married. She'll take half of this shit, retirement, money and he'll be living dirt poor. Some men would have offfed her but obviously he has some kind of a conscious
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 06-14-17 05:10 PM #12
    jtoler
    jtoler's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 12-17-13
    Posts: 30,967
    Betpoints: 6337

    Quote Originally Posted by thechaoz View Post
    This is why you don't get married. She'll take half of this shit, retirement, money and he'll be living dirt poor. Some men would have offfed her but obviously he has some kind of a conscious
    Or afraid he wouldnt be able to pull it off without getting caught.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 06-15-17 03:54 PM #13
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
    Auto Donk's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-03-13
    Posts: 43,564
    Betpoints: 48

    Quote Originally Posted by rkelly110 View Post
    You would know this.... how?
    uh, two people had it happen to them.... john bobbit and i can't even remember the name of that poor bastard who woke up screaming in pain because he lost morning wood, and thus the superglue really started tearing his crank up......

    as for the other end of that equation, there's a lot of jail house pussy and blowjobs being doled out daily in our penal institutions, and no stories of severed shafts or superglued twig n berries.....

    commons sense.....
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 06-15-17 03:59 PM #14
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
    Auto Donk's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-03-13
    Posts: 43,564
    Betpoints: 48

    ps.... one of my clients who got sent up for only a year (his sixth dwi), had a rather interesting "awakening" when he got to his cell.....

    big black guy was his cellmate.... guy tells my client, "here's how it works in here.... each night, one of us will be the husband, and one of us will be the wife..... which do you wanna be tonight???"

    he noted the sun was setting at the time he got in, and he says to the big black guy, "I guess I'll be the husband...." and before he'd even finished getting that last word out of his mouth, the big bbc-laden brutha yells out, "WELL GET OVER HERE AND SUCK YOUR WIFE'S DICK!!!!!!!!!"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 06-17-17 09:16 AM #15
    sweep
    USA! USA! USA!
    sweep's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 10-09-10
    Posts: 16,753
    Betpoints: 2457

    Quote Originally Posted by SharpAngles View Post
    Donker left out the best part...

    KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) — A 71-year-old man who said he robbed a Kansas City, Kansas, bank so he could get away from his wife blamed his actions on depression.
    A federal judge on Tuesday sentenced Lawrence John Ripple to six months of home confinement and 50 hours of community service.

    A+ punishment from the judge here

    ZING!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  16. 06-17-17 11:27 AM #16
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
    Auto Donk's Avatar Become A Pro!
    Join Date: 09-03-13
    Posts: 43,564
    Betpoints: 48

    I'll get to experience some of what this poor bastard is experiencing at present, with the whole "house arrest" shit goin' on....

    my wife wants to cuff me up tonight.....

    frisky today...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  17. 07-25-17 10:02 AM #17
    Enkhbat
    Enkhbat's Avatar SBR PRO
    Join Date: 04-18-11
    Posts: 3,101
    Betpoints: 26319

    That is cruel and unusual punishment for the poor dude.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
Top
« Previous Thread | The Saloon | Next Thread »