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BEST WISHES, THIS EASTER DAY, Small b Stiffing Slum Eagle Waves.....
I hope you have a joyous Easter Day, Small b SSE Waves;
Be safe, and do not get shot while taking part in the traditional Trenton Easter-crack hunt to be held later today at Columbus Park in your section-8 housing neighborhood;
Be sure not to step on any of the dozens of discarded syringes scattered by junkies throughout Columbus Park near your shanty as you hurriedly grapple with the young teens taking part in the crack rock hunt, fighting over the small nuggets of crystallized pleasure that comprise the life blood of your neighborhood;
May the rocks of crack cocaine you actually collect before some of the Puerto Rican teens totally kick your ass and send you running/limping home be pure and unadulterated, so that you will be safe while smoking them;
On this day, may your 1982 Ford Tauras that's missing all four hubcaps start within the first five times you turn the key, so as not to leave you stranded on your dangerous journey to the Fernandez' Corner Market;
and may the grackles and crows stay away from the busted out windows of your home, and let no vagrants enter to pillage your belongings as they have in years past while you're away at the Easter rock hunt;
may the Crips who raided your home last Easter find it within themselves to return your Christmas tree Star, so that this coming year you won't have to stand next to a barren, present-less, Star-less tree while posing, mardi-gras style, to take selfies to be put up on your favorite website, Mingle 2;
may you be successful this day in finding a "roomate" on Mingle 2 who will be willing to both have sex with you AND pay the mortgage on your $49,000 dollar home that you cannot afford on your own, so that you can finally take down that pathetic profile you have had on the site for six years (without a single positive response) and quit using your much-cherished welfare card on the monthly subscription fees;
may the state unemployment office quit hassling you about trying to conduct only two legitimate job searches instead of three each week to be entitled to receive benefits, and allow your one call to your former employer each week to count as a "search", so that you won't have to waste time posting messages on message boards or otherwise haggling with the state to get your "free money";
may the county tax appraiser take into account the level of continued decay of your neighborhood and lower the appraised value on your home from $49,800 to the more appropriate $31,100, so that you will pay less in property taxes from hereon;
may you only have to sit by yourself for six hours today, instead of the usual 12, at the SBR Omaha hi-lo tables in your effort to "flip" your poker points rollovers and not lose them to the scores of better poker players on the site at a legitimate hi-lo game who would feast on you in light of you're not having any poker skills whatsoever;
may the dozens of unsuspecting gamblers who lost thousands of dollars by depositing them into the 18th Hole Sportsbook based on your representations made while you were shilling for that scam of a site finally forgive you for misleading them into making deposits that would be used in part to pay you off in true Ponzi-scheme style, only to leave them without any recourse whatsoever against the failed site;
may you find the intelligence and wisdom to stop berating other SBR members about their account balances and employment positions in real life, so that you do not look like a complete blithering fool when they call you out and offer wagers to prove that they dwarf you in real life with their earnings/income, only to thereafter see you tuck tail and run like a complete pussy and embarrassingly dodge their wagers that would undoubtedly reveal the truth and show how pathetic you are and successful they are (your ignorantly calling out MPasch recently only to run like a scared little bitch when he took you up on your idiotic assertion and told you to put your money where your mouth is, then seeing you slither away, comes to mind);
and may you have a day that your flappy small b cup breasts do not jiggle and bounce while you hunt for crack in Columbus Park, so that you will not be embarrassed for going out into public bra-less;
and most of all, may you be forgiven for stiffing DownSouth on the bet that YOU proposed on YOUR OWN TERMS only to LOSE, and then stiff the winner out of 72,000 bet points.
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