1. 06-30-15 02:46 PM #1
    Auto Donk
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    Donk's 4th of July Partying Advice.....

    Given the "high" alert status that the Gov't is putting down on us for the 4th of July, which just happens to occur during this "Ramadan period," as a result of terrorist threats and the "oh so effective" Isis/Isil social media campaign, which is apparently radicalizing Camel Jockey Americans at an alarming rate, I am taking it upon myself to throw out a little common-sense advice to employ during your partying this weekend while celebrating our Nation's independence....

    First, like the ol saying that applies to cigarettes during any break in a long, grinding poker tournament, ie, "smoke em if you got em," Donk advises "Carry em if you got em." That's right, you gotta gun, carry it to whatever public celebration you might attend.

    Second, be prepared to use it..... Simply carrying isn't gonna help shit if it ain't loaded, and if you're not committed to completely blowing away any dusty nuts snake-charmer that gets outta line and starts trying to behead someone.....

    Third, keep your heads on a swivel.... Like The Channel 4 News Team from San Diego in a vicious "kahk fight," you must be vigilant! For example, if you see any cab drivers congregating and looking like Mohammed Atta, shady and/or aggressive in any way..... Any of them make a move, empty the f'n clip.....

    Fourth, you hear somebody with an arabic accent yelling "Allah Achbar," that's probable cause to unload........ While Jodi Arias may have been wrong when she proclaimed "NO JURY WILL EVER CONVICT ME," rest assured no jury will ever convict you for cappin' a fig-gobblin goat roper who yells that shit out........

    Fifth, like it was flying after 9-11, make eye contact with all the good Americans around you -- like we did on jets after the cowards hi jacked em -- to ensure that you're all on the same page and ready to combat any wanna be jihadist with a group ass-beating if he shows any ill-will or intent to harm.....

    Sixth, get yo drink on, smoke on, or whatever it is you get on to get it on, and have a HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!
    Last edited by Auto Donk; 06-30-15 at 02:53 PM.
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  2. 06-30-15 03:25 PM #2
    PAULYPOKER
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    "smoke em if you got em," Donk advises
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  3. 06-30-15 05:51 PM #3
    Eddy Munny
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  4. 06-30-15 07:41 PM #4
    jjgold
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    Be careful Donker
    The best advice is do not leave the house
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  5. 06-30-15 07:48 PM #5
    BrickJames
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    Good call Donk!
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  6. 06-30-15 07:56 PM #6
    rkelly110
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    Are you fukking kidding me donker? Pussies run amuk in the US. Have you not seen the threads of women fighting
    in wally world with people videoing it and not stepping in? How about reading the posts within. No one wants to get
    involved in anyone else's business or they have to think about it first and even then, it's nope. Ooo, they might have
    a gun or a knife. They might put my eye out punching me in my head. Or maybe yelling at a cop while he's jaywalking and gunning the engine to get the hell outta there. Maybe, just maybe, if they were armed, they might grow a set.

    Maybe.
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  7. 06-30-15 10:24 PM #7
    Auto Donk
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    come down to texas.... we will skin fig gobblin,' carpet piloting, dusty nut ragheads alive the second they pipe up at a 4th of july celebration
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  8. 07-01-15 12:03 AM #8
    Big Bear
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    don't drink and drive

    call a uber
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  9. 07-01-15 12:47 AM #9
    Roadtrip635
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    come down to texas.... we will skin fig gobblin,' carpet piloting, dusty nut ragheads alive the second they pipe up at a 4th of july celebration
    Gotta admit the last few times some terrorist or crazy gunman tried pulling some shit in Texas, they got dropped pretty quick.

    That crazy dude with the zombie van that attacked the Dallas PD HQ, lots of shots, but didn't hit anyone. Ended with a .50 cal hole thru his chest, then they set his van on fire, just for good measure.

    Those two terrorists that tried to attack the Allah cartoon contest, didn't even make it to the parking lot. Two terrorists with body armor and automatic weapons met up with off duty cop working security, no armor and only a pistol. 2 head shots, two dead terrorists.

    In San Antonio, crazed gunman runs into lobby of movie theater, but only gets a few steps before security guard, off-duty cop, drops his ass with a couple shots. Crazed gunman dead, no bystanders injured.

    Ain't no fukkin' around in Texas.
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  10. 07-01-15 09:25 AM #10
    Auto Donk
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    I may go crank up some Waylon Jenning's right now.......... start oiling up my guns, loading clips......

    I have a feeling this 4th of July is gonna be a real "blast"!!!!!

    Chimp's on board with it; wants me to buy his blow-up doll a camoflage bikini and matching stars and stripes bandanas for him and her to wear to the fireworks show down at the Four Corners in Tomball........

    and, any dusty nuts terrorists out there, I BEG YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT COME TO TOMBALL TO BLOW UP THE PEOPLE AT THE SHOW.... PLEASE DO NOT PARK NEXT TO THE BLACK 645 CI BMW WITH A GUN RACK AND A CRAZY LOOKING CHIMP WITH A BLOW UP DOLL IN A CAMO BIKINI.......

    I AM FRAIL AND DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THE FULLY LOADED GLOCK 9 MM OR S/W .357 I AM LICENSED TO CARRY AND WILL HAVE ON ME.........

    PLEASE STAY AWAY AND DO NOT YELL OUT "ALLAH ACHABAR" NEAR ME, I MIGHT RUN AND HIDE FROM YOU, as i'm all talk and no action and really don't know how to shoot my guns .....
    Last edited by Auto Donk; 07-01-15 at 09:39 AM.
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  11. 07-01-15 09:34 AM #11
    jjgold
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    fireworks cool, Vegas booths up to buy although too easy to get in trouble unless you go to mountains or deserted areas

    I would like to buy a Mat and light them at once

    Automan light a fukkin sparkler on put on your girl's pussy and make a video man
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  12. 07-01-15 09:37 AM #12
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    fireworks cool, Vegas booths up to buy although too easy to get in trouble unless you go to mountains or deserted areas

    I would like to buy a Mat and light them at once

    Automan light a fukkin sparkler on put on your girl's pussy and make a video man
    It would go well with the one i made last year, where I stuck a roman candle up her ass (the safe end) and had her bend over and fire shots out the window at the neighbor's cat with it

    sent that one in to America's Funniest Home Videos.... haven't heard back from em....

    waiting for Tosh's crew to find it
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  13. 07-02-15 08:41 AM #13
    jjgold
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    It would go well with the one i made last year, where I stuck a roman candle up her ass (the safe end) and had her bend over and fire shots out the window at the neighbor's cat with it

    sent that one in to America's Funniest Home Videos.... haven't heard back from em....

    waiting for Tosh's crew to find it
    that had to be epic
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  14. 07-02-15 04:50 PM #14
    Auto Donk
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    but it can turn out like this........

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  15. 07-02-15 04:53 PM #15
    DiggityDaggityDo
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    Donker are you and your wife going to bang any broads this 4th?
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  16. 07-02-15 05:21 PM #16
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    going to coushatta for the 4th, in louisianna .... depends on her mood.....
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  17. 07-02-15 05:44 PM #17
    jjgold
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    I love turning in people on Fourth of July for illlegal fireworks is one of the highlights of my year
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  18. 07-02-15 06:10 PM #18
    paco
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    Smh
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  19. 07-02-15 06:22 PM #19
    MoMoneyMoVaughn
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    Read this earlier today.

    We had some hill-rod neighbors who had made the trip from the Chicago burbs to Indiana for some big fireworks—the mortars and whatnot that aren’t for sale in IL. After countless hours of big-time fireworks, the neighbors and their front-yard crowd of about 15 move onto the next display: straight black powder packed into a thick metal pipe with a short fuse. The result was a deafening explosion with little to no visual appeal, but by this point all they wanted was the type of noise that you could feel in your chest and make your ears ring.
    Anyway this went on for a while without incident, but the continual blasts must have taken a toll on the pipe. They pack it up again and light it off, same result, huge explosion. But this time the blast is met with screams instead of clapping and beer chugs. The top portion of the pipe had blown clean off with the blast and hit a girl bystander square in the jaw from the side and TOOK HER LOWER MANDIBLE CLEAR OFF. The scene described to me year after year was straight out of a horror story, the girl screaming with a tongue hanging out of her face until she passed out from shock, teeth everywhere. Suffice to say I am the nervous one around fireworks because of hearing this story once a year.
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  20. 07-02-15 06:24 PM #20
    DiggityDaggityDo
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    I love turning in people on Fourth of July for illlegal fireworks is one of the highlights of my year
    Coach, don't be a dik.
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  21. 07-02-15 07:45 PM #21
    ADR51
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiggityDaggityDo View Post
    Coach, don't be a dik.
    Yes JJ dont be a walking prick man....
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  22. 07-03-15 07:54 AM #22
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by ADR51 View Post
    Yes JJ dont be a walking prick man....
    and here I thought the prestigious position of "NHL Message Board Moderator" would give him enough power and authority to where he wouldn't need to assert himself and exercise authority over a bunch of kids on the 4th of July poppin' a few firecrackers.....

    dammit!
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  23. 07-03-15 11:17 AM #23
    jjgold
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiggityDaggityDo View Post
    Coach, don't be a dik.

    Diggity its illegal

    Loud noises and babies cannot sleep
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  24. 07-03-15 12:42 PM #24
    Auto Donk
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    they're legal where i'm at, as i drove by 25-30 stands this morning alone...
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  25. 07-04-15 12:04 PM #25
    itchypickle
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    HAPPY 'MURIKA DAY Donker!

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