[PhillyFlyers]

Fukkin scary watching most of my friends going through divorce.

Why the fukk did they get married in the first place?

My one buddy told me soon after he got married his sex life went in the fukkin toilet and got even worse after he had a baby. Would go weeks without it.

Weeks!

wtf is wrong with people?

Why do this to yourself?

What is the point?

[innovation]

god gave him 2 hands......he will figure it out.

[PhillyFlyers]

god gave him 2 hands......he will figure it out.

Yeah and he used those two hands to fukkin hang himself.

[Optional]

Some women lay it on for the best meal ticket but find it too hard to keep it up once the catch is bagged.

Some men wine, dine and romance a woman to snag her, then treat her like a mother/maid from the honeymoon forward.

These are the couples who's sex stops after marriage.

And that's good, because they need to get divorced before they have kids.

But most people get married for love, so this isn't an issue. And if it ever becomes one they work it out together.


You'll be right though Philly. I doubt you'll ever need to be concerned about divorce.

Are you more scared of blacks or women btw?

I'm starting to wonder if it's just because you know almost nothing about either, first hand.

[shari91]

Some of my friends are now on their 2nd marriage & refer to their first one as their starter. Got married because one or both was pressured, chick was knocked up, all their friends were, nearing an age where they thought they had to, etc. Now they're either happier remarried or alone. Part of me admires the ones who stick it out and seem to really still love each other x amount of years later, but I feel REALLY sorry for those who take for better or worse literally or their religious beliefs doom them both to a life of misery, cheating and other scummy fluffery. I obviously know zilch about you but if you're in your mid 30s to mid 40s, divorces will rock your friendship group. If not, loveless marriages and cheating will. And then you'll have to get to new partners and flings. Sucks.

[PhillyFlyers]

Some women lay it on for the best meal ticket but find it too hard to keep it up once the catch is bagged.

Some men wine, dine and romance a woman to snag her, then treat her like a mother/maid from the honeymoon forward.

These are the couples who's sex stops after marriage.

And that's good, because they need to get divorced before they have kids.

But most people get married for love, so this isn't an issue. And if it ever becomes one they work it out together.


You'll be right though Philly. I doubt you'll ever need to be concerned about divorce.

Are you more scared of blacks or women btw?

I'm starting to wonder if it's just because you know almost nothing about either, first hand.

Good post and nice try.

Blacks are afraid of me.

Women do scare me. They have the power to take you to the cleaners in divorce court. Take half of your assets. Take your children away from you.

Take your home. Take your business. Take everything you worked your whole life to build.

And for what?

Because we have a biological need for pussy.

Ain't no woman ever going to fukkin trap me, bro.

[PhillyFlyers]

Some of my friends are now on their 2nd marriage & refer to their first one as their starter. Got married because one or both was pressured, chick was knocked up, all their friends were, nearing an age where they thought they had to, etc. Now they're either happier remarried or alone. Part of me admires the ones who stick it out and seem to really still love each other x amount of years later, but I feel REALLY sorry for those who take for better or worse literally or their religious beliefs doom them both to a life of misery, cheating and other scummy fluffery. I obviously know zilch about you but if you're in your mid 30s to mid 40s, divorces will rock your friendship group. If not, loveless marriages and cheating will. And then you'll have to get to new partners and flings. Sucks.

Such winners you surround yourself with, Shari.

[Optional]

Some of my friends are now on their 2nd marriage & refer to their first one as their starter. Got married because one or both was pressured, chick was knocked up, all their friends were, nearing an age where they thought they had to, etc. Now they're either happier remarried or alone. Part of me admires the ones who stick it out and seem to really still love each other x amount of years later, but I feel REALLY sorry for those who take for better or worse literally or their religious beliefs doom them both to a life of misery, cheating and other scummy fluffery. I obviously know zilch about you but if you're in your mid 30s to mid 40s, divorces will rock your friendship group. If not, loveless marriages and cheating will. And then you'll have to get to new partners and flings. Sucks.

Ugh... the reality does sound awful when you put it that way!

So true though. I was one of the first of my friends to get married, and divorced, and had to watch half my friends go through the same drawn out pain. But now the ones that are staying together are set, and the rest of them have settled into happy 2nd lives, and loving them mostly.

It's actually great to take a new start. And not feel like you don't 'have' to marry anyone unless you really think they are fecking awesome.

Same as you I do look at my friends celebrating long happy marriages with a bit of jealousy though. I do miss the shared history and memories a lifetime together brings.

[ChalkyDog]

Marry 1st for money.
Marry 2nd for love.

Old Mantra women seem to live by.

[PhillyFlyers]

Marry 1st for money.
Marry 2nd for love.

Old Mantra women seem to live by.

Correction.....AMERICAN Women.

You can still go to South America and find a village girl there that is pure in mind and spirit and will love you for you.

[shari91]

Such winners you surround yourself with, Shari.

I'm being honest and hold no judgement. Who's worse off: The ones that marry and are obviously miserable x years later or the ones who know when to cut their losses, realise they married too young, for the wrong reasons, have grown apart? I think each of us over the age of say 30 could give examples of people who've been married for 50+ years who are miserable. Especially when the kids have moved out. Is it better to waste one's life that way when you only have 1 chance to dance in this life? I say no. If you're seeing different where you are - which would make question why you even started this thread - I suggest you think about how honest your circle is being.

[PhillyFlyers]

I'm being honest and hold no judgement. Who's worse off: The ones that marry and are obviously miserable x years later or the ones who know when to cut their losses, realise they married too young, for the wrong reasons, have grown apart? I think each of us over the age of say 30 could give examples of people who've been married for 50+ years who are miserable. Especially when the kids have moved out. Is it better to waste one's life that way when you only have 1 chance to dance in this life? I say no.

They're both wrong!

The ones who "cut their losses" are often life ruiners. They only take into account their feelings and thoughts and will often not even think of the aftermath of the consequences imposed on the other person involved.

[Wilfred]

I won't get married until I'm at least 30, not sure why people are getting married at 23 and such. Seems like no fun at all.

[shari91]

Ugh... the reality does sound awful when you put it that way!

So true though. I was one of the first of my friends to get married, and divorced, and had to watch half my friends go through the same drawn out pain. But now the ones that are staying together are set, and the rest of them have settled into happy 2nd lives, and loving them mostly.

It's actually great to take a new start. And not feel like you don't 'have' to marry anyone unless you really think they are fecking awesome.

Same as you I do look at my friends celebrating long happy marriages with a bit of jealousy though. I do miss the shared history and memories a lifetime together brings.

Yeah it definitely seems like the 2nd marriages have more staying power. I'm never jealous of those early ones though where BOTH people seem really happy as they're quite rare. I admire them for the work they've obviously done to stay together but I recognize how rare it is. Especially when cultural or churchy factors are removed. For most people they don't even know who they are in their 20s, let alone can be a great spouse so it's no wonder they eventually split. Those that make it work get all of my respect.

[PhillyFlyers]

Yeah it definitely seems like the 2nd marriages have more staying power. I'm never jealous of those early ones though where BOTH people seem really happy as they're quite rare. I admire them for the work they've obviously done to stay together but I recognize how rare it is. Especially when cultural or churchy factors are removed. For most people they don't even know who they are in their 20s, let alone can be a great spouse so it's no wonder they eventually split. Those that make it work get all of my respect.

I wonder what the divorce rate is among people who have had multiple marriages?

[shari91]

They're both wrong!

The ones who "cut their losses" are often life ruiners. They only take into account their feelings and thoughts and will often not even think of the aftermath of the consequences imposed on the other person involved.

Fine but remember, unless you're a scammer, no one gets together thinking or believing they'll ever break up. Our society pushes people into fitting into these moulds...if you're not married after 3 years of dating you're wasting her time, if you get married and you're say you're Catholic like me, divorce isn't an option. No one is disagreeing with you that it sucks... people are just sharing their experiences as to why it might be a bit more complicated than to judge those who get divorced. Great thread you started.

[shari91]

I wonder what the divorce rate is among people who have had multiple marriages?

They released a study about that in Australia last year which obv wouldn't mean much for the US but it was an overwhelming # of people stayed in their 2nd marriages vs their first. I think the age at which they chose to get married was a massive factor but again not sure if it applies in the US

[PhillyFlyers]

Fine but remember, unless you're a scammer, no one gets together thinking or believing they'll ever break up. Our society pushes people into fitting into these moulds...if you're not married after 3 years of dating you're wasting her time, if you get married and you're say you're Catholic like me, divorce isn't an option. No one is disagreeing with you that it sucks... people are just sharing their experiences as to why it might be a bit more complicated than to judge those who get divorced. Great thread you started.

Societal pressures are a bullshit excuse though, Shari.

In the end, it all comes down to the two people involved.

Why are divorce rates so fukkin high these days?

Why were they so low in past days?

Did the people of the past not have societal pressures too?

It all comes down to the people involved.

Cheaters are one group of people who should never marry.

If you cheat on your other while single, you will cheat during marriage and more than likely that marriage will end in divorce. So why do it in the first place?

BTW I always start great threads. That's why I'm SBR's Biggest Star.

[SharkAA]

Fukkin scary watching most of my friends going through divorce.

Why the fukk did they get married in the first place?

My one buddy told me soon after he got married his sex life went in the fukkin toilet and got even worse after he had a baby. Would go weeks without it.

Weeks!

wtf is wrong with people?

Why do this to yourself?

What is the point?

The answer is relatively simple in theory, but when it comes to real life situations, things are far far from being easy.
Serious relationships are unpredictable.

In the beginning, everything seems so wonderful & intense, because they both fall in love with each other and in most cases, they don't even think about what it's going to happen.

Living together for years after a marriage and in many cases with kids, is a tough challenge. Certain % of couples stay together and certain % get divorced. It's just a matter of some circumstances: how do they face a rapid tempo in their lives, how do they adjust to each other, how do they talk to each other and how do they maintain sexual activities etc. All these factors are linked to each other and a divorce pretty much happens, when problems aren't solved on a base of these circumstances.

Why did they got married in the first place? Love, I guess... Obviously, you don't know, they'll divorce in the future.
Wtf is wrong with people? Nothing, if you understand, how strong of a feeling love is.
Why do this to yourself? Because it's better to get divorced than to suffer further if you're unable to solve problems.
What is the point? The answer above.

[shari91]

Societal pressures are a bullshit excuse though, Shari.

In the end, it all comes down to the two people involved.

Why are divorce rates so fukkin high these days?

Why were they so low in past days?

Did the people of the past not have societal pressures too?

It all comes down to the people involved.

Cheaters are one group of people who should never marry.

If you cheat on your other while single, you will cheat during marriage and more than likely that marriage will end in divorce. So why do it in the first place?

BTW I always start great threads. That's why I'm SBR's Biggest Star.

Divorce rates are higher now because no one sane is going to judge someone for getting divorced. People are free to do what they want and to be frank, when I'm buying a wedding gift for 2 20yos getting married, or worse a teen, I'm expecting to hear that marriage failed. People can leave easily now.

Wondering why people divorce more now you may as well go research women's lib and the internet hasn't helped. I could post an issue I'm having now & in 3 minutes get a heap of responses validating or in some cases misleading me that I'm right.

This is the new normal.

[PhillyFlyers]

Divorce rates are higher now because no one sane is going to judge someone for getting divorced. People are free to do what they want and to be frank, when I'm buying a wedding gift for 2 20yos getting married, or worse a teen, I'm expecting to hear that marriage failed. People can leave easily now.

Wondering why people divorce more now you may as well go research women's lib and the internet hasn't helped. I could post an issue I'm having now & in 3 minutes get a heap of responses validating or in some cases misleading me that I'm right.

This is the new normal.

Very intriguing and interesting that you mention Women's Lib Movement.

Radical Feminism.

[rkelly110]

Societal pressures are a bullshit excuse though, Shari.

In the end, it all comes down to the two people involved.

Why are divorce rates so fukkin high these days?

Why were they so low in past days?

Did the people of the past not have societal pressures too?

It all comes down to the people involved.

Cheaters are one group of people who should never marry.

If you cheat on your other while single, you will cheat during marriage and more than likely that marriage will end in divorce. So why do it in the first place?

BTW I always start great threads. That's why I'm SBR's Biggest Star.

That's it in a nutshell in bold. Men are the quarter backs and the women are the wide receivers. Too many opportunities
to say no to. Jerry Springer and Maury might be drama mamma shows, but they show the actuality of real life.

[gauchojake]

I wonder what the divorce rate is among people who have had multiple marriages?

100%

[bubblebuttluv]

Better protect your money and try to workout a pre-nup where you owe no alimony.

If you don't do the two above things then women will rob you blind.

You need a woman for that area in between her legs and then the rest of her is just what is attached.

[Codeviper]

Marriage as we know it will be completely obsolete in less than a century.

[bostonboss]

open marriage is best

[gauchojake]

Thanks Merlin!

[tokio]

Not an easy thing to go through especially if you have kids. I went through it and it wasn't fun. Lawyers and judges get involved and it can lead to ugly departures for someone who you'd once would give your life to and sacrificed so much for. But in the end, I fought for my child and won...and I've realized that was the most important decision. She took the money and materialistic things, I took my kid. Left the house with nothing but the clothes on my back and doing just fine now.