[TheCentaur]

Mine is a tie between:

-a fat black guy sitting next to me that farted in his sleep and

-a teenage girl that spent the flight picking her acne and eating it

How about you?

[tto827]

I had a 3 hr or so flight, and the overweight woman in the middle seat next to me decided to get on her knees and turn around and talk to the person behind her the whole flight. I had blubber thigh on me for most of the flight. Your's sound worse though.

[kobebryant55]

some fat person slept on my for entire flight and drooled everywhere.. even after i elbowed her 10x

[sickler]

Involved a barf bag. Would rather not get into the particulars.

[BIGDAY]

4 hour delay on Tarmac.

Luckily it was the best first class upgrade I've ever purchased.

[The Kraken]

1.had a fuel line to one of the engines rupture mid flight flying from Las Vegas to Memphis. Dropped around 5k feet in under a minute. Engine made funny noises until we landed. A bunch of people were screaming, vomiting and praying. One old lady shit her pants. It smelled up about six rows. I could smell it in first class with the curtain drawn. It was disgusting.

2. Flying from Enid, Ok to Denver international on a small 20 person plane. Turbulence was ridiculous. Mid flight the capt. Informs us that the luggage had shifted due to turbulence and he needed everyone that was sitting on the left side of the plane to move to the right side. After we all did that, he asked a few to move back. I was sure we were going to crash.

[opie1988]

Didn't happen to me.....but to one of my very best friends.

Guy is a pretty heavy drinker, and he's a little anxious about flying, so before a business flight to Pittsburgh he popped a couple of Ambien and drank several little bottles of vodka. Anyway....next thing he knew, a flight attendant was shaking him to wake up. The entire plane was empty (plane was 100% full and he was seated between a nice old lady and a black dude) and he had completely pissed thru his suit pants. He said there was a huge wet spot on the seat when he got up. Had no idea how long he had been out, or what anyone saw.

[sweethook]

cry baby

[neverstoppers23]

never been on a plane. mofo family was poor as penetrate. as kids and took a beat up jeep cross country where we had to run the heat in the car so the engine wouldn't explode, in 110 degree weather in arizona.

[lunchbawks]

Saw some guy get arrested in flight after he assaulted a flight attendant. We were forced to land at the closest airport to get rid of him

[Brock Landers]

1.had a fuel line to one of the engines rupture mid flight flying from Las Vegas to Memphis. Dropped around 5k feet in under a minute. Engine made funny noises until we landed. A bunch of people were screaming, vomiting and praying. One old lady shit her pants. It smelled up about six rows. I could smell it in first class with the curtain drawn. It was disgusting.

2. Flying from Enid, Ok to Denver international on a small 20 person plane. Turbulence was ridiculous. Mid flight the capt. Informs us that the luggage had shifted due to turbulence and he needed everyone that was sitting on the left side of the plane to move to the right side. After we all did that, he asked a few to move back. I was sure we were going to crash.

thats some funny shit!

[InTheDrink]

1.had a fuel line to one of the engines rupture mid flight flying from Las Vegas to Memphis. Dropped around 5k feet in under a minute. Engine made funny noises until we landed. A bunch of people were screaming, vomiting and praying. One old lady shit her pants. It smelled up about six rows. I could smell it in first class with the curtain drawn. It was disgusting.

2. Flying from Enid, Ok to Denver international on a small 20 person plane. Turbulence was ridiculous. Mid flight the capt. Informs us that the luggage had shifted due to turbulence and he needed everyone that was sitting on the left side of the plane to move to the right side. After we all did that, he asked a few to move back. I was sure we were going to crash.

krakker you make sound like you were as cool as the other side of the pillow in scenario #1

[turtlejc]

krakker you make sound like you were as cool as the other side of the pillow in scenario #1

i can picture it now...some old lady shitting in her pants, people puking every where, crying and screaming...

this guy sitting legs folded reading his wall street journal asking for another virgin bloody mary

[lakerboy]

had a plane ride once where the plane flew upside down for 10 minutes. was no big deal. had my seatbelt on and was having a smoke anyways.

[onlooker]

1.had a fuel line to one of the engines rupture mid flight flying from Las Vegas to Memphis. Dropped around 5k feet in under a minute. Engine made funny noises until we landed. A bunch of people were screaming, vomiting and praying. One old lady shit her pants. It smelled up about six rows. I could smell it in first class with the curtain drawn. It was disgusting.

2. Flying from Enid, Ok to Denver international on a small 20 person plane. Turbulence was ridiculous. Mid flight the capt. Informs us that the luggage had shifted due to turbulence and he needed everyone that was sitting on the left side of the plane to move to the right side. After we all did that, he asked a few to move back. I was sure we were going to crash.

[ttwarrior1]

luggage moved on our plane to the left side, so instead of asking everyone to move to the right side, they just asked me to move to balance it all out

[turtlejc]

was on a flight one time from midway to phx

captain came on the radio and said the electric ignition system isnt starting the engines so that cranking and loud noises you hear under the plane is us manually starting the engines....i thought to myself what happens if the engines just turn off in the middle of the flight

then, tons of condensation coming up from the windows inside...was like i was in a cooler

wanted to get the fukk off that plane

[MoneyLineDawg]

I almost always have a bad experience when flying solo although nothing really stands out.....why are so many people so gross, weird, and generally rude and unaware of their dumb and annoying actions??

How hard is it to be courteous for a few minutes while you take off, don't do anything gross for a few hours, smell normal, and listen to music and not bother anyone???? Apparently very hard for alot of people out there.....

[ChalkyDog]

15 years old, took a flight back east, and had a layover at O'hare. Worst than that is the fact I sat next to a lady that was 10 months pregnant.

The crux of the thing, is I thought it to be a good idea to drop some acid before boarding. Ended up being hellish and pretty incredible at the same time. Except, I was on the aisle and kept getting jolted by the beverage cart hitting my elbow, which sent me on a weird trip.

Lost my luggage that trip too.

Generally I wouldn't recommend it for that length of flight. 1hr flight from Phoenix to Vegas - highly recommended!

[Leo Bello]

1.had a fuel line to one of the engines rupture mid flight flying from Las Vegas to Memphis. Dropped around 5k feet in under a minute. Engine made funny noises until we landed. A bunch of people were screaming, vomiting and praying. One old lady shit her pants. It smelled up about six rows. I could smell it in first class with the curtain drawn. It was disgusting.

2. Flying from Enid, Ok to Denver international on a small 20 person plane. Turbulence was ridiculous. Mid flight the capt. Informs us that the luggage had shifted due to turbulence and he needed everyone that was sitting on the left side of the plane to move to the right side. After we all did that, he asked a few to move back. I was sure we were going to crash.

Kraken, your #1 story about the old lady and her unexpected #2 was the best ever. You know, you've got to realize that that old lady's shit had 73 years to ferment, so you have to cut her some slack. Unlike the old wine bottle, you just can't put a cork in it and enjoy it later!

[Foxx]

On my way from Puerto Rico to Mexico via Houston about 10 years ago. In the last row on a 100 row jet, I decide to drown my sorrows in some $5 little bottles of Jack Daniels. They probably cost 10 bucks now at least. I think I had about 5 75% through the flight and was feeling pretty good, and the next thing I know, the male stewardness decides to hook me up with a handful of complimentary bottles. I thanked him and nodded thankfully and pretended that his hand on my shoulder didn't bother me. The rest is a blurr but I remember my connecting flight was delayed like 4 hours so I continued to keep the buzz going at the terminal bar. My connecting flight was supposed to take off at 3pm or so but was delayed until 7pm and I get woken up all by myself after midnight by some concerned workers. I think I pissed myself but I was out so long it had time to dry. I got my balls broken by airport security but nothing came of it.

[mcduggly]

1.had a fuel line to one of the engines rupture mid flight flying from Las Vegas to Memphis. Dropped around 5k feet in under a minute. Engine made funny noises until we landed. A bunch of people were screaming, vomiting and praying. One old lady shit her pants. It smelled up about six rows. I could smell it in first class with the curtain drawn. It was disgusting.

2. Flying from Enid, Ok to Denver international on a small 20 person plane. Turbulence was ridiculous. Mid flight the capt. Informs us that the luggage had shifted due to turbulence and he needed everyone that was sitting on the left side of the plane to move to the right side. After we all did that, he asked a few to move back. I was sure we were going to crash.

I would probably shit my pants if that fukkin happened. Damn.

[TheMetsSuck]

visited my friend at tulane during mardi gras and blacked out for a few days while fighting some type of flu bug. I had a flight at 7am and was still out on bourbon hammered at 4am. I got a cab and barely made the flight. I knew traveling with how shitty i felt was going to suck but I wanted to get as far away from new orleans as possible and get back to my bed to sleep for a few days. I was booting on the flight from takeoff to landing and I was sitting right next to an old lady that gave me a death stare the whole flight. I basically lived in the bathroom from new orleans to chicago but people got pissed about how long i was in the bathroom so I'd have to come out for a bit. Then a seatbelt sign would come on or it would be occupied when I felt really shitty and had to use the vomit bag next to the old lady a few times and while landing. I was so happy to get off that flight and into ohare where I had to catch my connector which was 3 hrs later. In the airport I started feeling real shitty and somehow was led into some type of doctor/ emergency room right in the airport. They hooked me up to a few iv's after missing the vein the first 4 tries because I was so dehydrated. After the iv's I felt a million times better and the rest of the trip was smooth sailing

[Foxx]

Mexico to Philly via Houston, we can not land in Houston because of tornadoes. We circle Houston for 3 hours but never get clear and since we are running low on fuel they reroute to San Antonio. Because it is an international flight, we can not deboard the plane as you can only do that in the scheduled arrival city. So we sit on the runway in SA for 6 hours to refuel and awaiting the clear to takeoff and land in Houston. Worst part was that when you are on the ground, they can not serve anything. So all those hours on the runway with no food or drink. It was even against the rules to unfasten your seatbelt. It wound up being over 12 hours on a plane for a scheduled 2 hour flight, 10 of those hours with no service. I am sure I was sitting next to some ahole too.

[byronbb]

Coming back from Vegas once. Short flight but of course windy day so the plane was doing all sorts of sudden, lifts and drops. Ended up in the toilet having to puke and shit at the same moment......

[Foxx]

I am a mild hypochondriac and right around the time of the swine flu scare, I was heading to the US from Mexico on a small jet. I am in a single seat row and the woman directly behind me, coughs and hacks nonstop the entire flight. I never did get sick but I just remember being panicked the entire time and wanting to punch her in the face.




Another time, it didn't really bother me, but you know how they make you turn off your cell phone off and forbid you to use it at a certain point after boarding the plane. This woman 2 rows up, continues to talk on her phone very loudly all they way through the runway and several minutes on the accent completely disregarding the many passengers imploring her to hang it up. The flight attendants were already strapped in so they were no help. It was just simply bizarre this woman thinking she was so important that she could disregard the policy. It was equally bizarre the handful of positively panicked passengers thinking the plane was going to crash because this woman was talking on the phone. Just imagine how generally quiet the plane is on takeoff and you have this woman talking loudly on her cell about some stupid business paperwork that needs to faxed to the corporate office. It was surreal.

[byronbb]

One of my friends was going to a wedding in Mexico so the wedding party gets absolutely torched the night before the flight. The guy manages to fall down and pass out in the aisle of the plane right beside the grooms mother and shit his pants. True story.

[MrPlow456]

flying cross country monday morning after 72 hrs in vegas

brutal hangovers do not mix with air travel

[Brock Landers]

visited my friend at tulane during mardi gras and blacked out for a few days while fighting some type of flu bug. I had a flight at 7am and was still out on bourbon hammered at 4am. I got a cab and barely made the flight. I knew traveling with how shitty i felt was going to suck but I wanted to get as far away from new orleans as possible and get back to my bed to sleep for a few days. I was booting on the flight from takeoff to landing and I was sitting right next to an old lady that gave me a death stare the whole flight. I basically lived in the bathroom from new orleans to chicago but people got pissed about how long i was in the bathroom so I'd have to come out for a bit. Then a seatbelt sign would come on or it would be occupied when I felt really shitty and had to use the vomit bag next to the old lady a few times and while landing. I was so happy to get off that flight and into ohare where I had to catch my connector which was 3 hrs later. In the airport I started feeling real shitty and somehow was led into some type of doctor/ emergency room right in the airport. They hooked me up to a few iv's after missing the vein the first 4 tries because I was so dehydrated. After the iv's I felt a million times better and the rest of the trip was smooth sailing

GREAT Story!!

[darrell74]

landing in Albuquerque
always windy
plane will drop all funny, turns my stomach

love going on vacation
but really haste coming back

[darrell74]

am i the only one who dislikes the smell of stinky feet at airports?

[Russian Rocket]

Flying to Mexico, seating on the very last row at the tail of the plane. My gf is on one side, some old fat fukk on the other side. Fat fukk orders a bloody mary to calm his nerves and puts it right in front of him on the little tray. Over sudden we hit a pretty bad turbulence, bags are flying, people screaming and the fatso's bloody mary fukking splashes all over me - I'm wearing all tan/ white clothes.
Anyhow I came out of that fukking plane looking like I just slathered half of the people on board. Had to make a quick wardrobe change at the restroom cos Mexicali started to look at me all strange at airport.

[pronk]

Landing at Chicago's Midway on Southwest 737 was my worst ever. I swear i could've reached the tops of the chimneys of the last few houses seconds before that hard kangaroo landing.

[tto827]

Landing at Chicago's Midway on Southwest 737 was my worst ever. I swear i could've reached the tops of the chimneys of the last few houses seconds before that hard kangaroo landing.

Best airline, but yes, flying into those smaller airports in mediocre conditions, they are bound to have some rough landings. Midway and Buffalo are both pretty bad. I'm happy they are going to open up flights into Rochester, going to save my family a bunch of time and money.