Wow, this is heaven? Let me introduce myself. I'm Junior Seance!!!
(In response to the murmurs) -- What, how'd I get here?
Oh, well, you know. Life was hard. Had about 20 million in the bank, never had to work a job in my life, retired at 40. Heck, when I had a job playing football I just had to invest a few hours a day.... and that was tough. I mean, we even had to work 9 months a year. Summers off.
Yeah, a few years ago I was so fed up with all my millions while regular people are busting their ass to feed their families.... that I decided to try to drive off a cliff.
Yeah, us NFL guys are big tuff guys that can squash another human like a fly ..... but, I mean, dealing with millions of dollars and not having to work for a living... we got it tough. As Michael Beasley once said "we got it so hard in life.. that sometimes we just can't go on no' more!!"
Where da gun?
I thinks I goes blow my blains out of mah head here in da heavens!!!!
............
Ah yes, cry me a fukking river. And all you working fools are shedding tears over some idiot who had millions and didn't have to do jack shit.
Sucker born every minute.