[TEXAS MICKEY]

HighR,

Tell him that you're going to be the prick next year at SBR, and flash this website up on the 70 inch LED screen, and give him a trial run of what to expect from his son-in-law. Show him all of the Pricks vids and threads.
Bet the fukker, will call his old lady and cancel her flight on Thursday, and tell her he's coming home for Xmas, because their son-in-law is a GAMBLER. Them Adventist don't take to kindly to GAMBLERS, they have hard time talking in tongue about us.

Problem resolved...............Good Luck.

TM

[ZetaPsi808]

higher can u film a video of your father in law going nutty?

it might be greatest video of all times

[InTheDrink]

Higher please tell me you're at least drinking a twelver or a fifth nightly to deal with this shlt.

[Sledge187]

I would walk around the house butt naked when it's only you and your brother and law. Then when you get a chance tell your father in law that the brother was walking around naked around you. Tell him it's not a big deal but the erection your brother in law had was a little disturbing.

[Jonah]

Get him an SBR account...If you are feeling generous, help him become a pro.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

Update:

Wife is off from work for a week and it has helped the father-in-law settle down some. Can’t help but be a little jealous of her work situation—she’s a nurse practitioner and gets to make her own schedule. If any of you are going back to school, becoming an RN or a nurse practitioner is a damn good job.

Here is an interesting development. I notice that whenever he goes to bed, he takes his laptop and his bible to bed with him. I am wondering if the Bible is cover to help divert suspicion that he might be looking up naughty things. His wife gets in tomorrow night…so it makes some sense. I really have not had the urge to investigate this further, as JJ would have done.

I am also interested to see what our heating bill will be this month. These Florida types do not handle the cold very well and the house-temp has been turned up high enough, that it half reminds me of my old high school’s wrestling room.

I had to vent about the constant nagging to show her brother and father some lifting pointers. They are string bean skinny and tall. I try to tell them to cut down on their running and bicycling, which are anti-cool and anti-getting stacked. They don’t listen and every day the two of them goes jogging. Her brother wears a black spandex outfit, while the father wears old grey sweat pants and a sweater that says, “Forest Lake for Christ 2006.” He told me that whenever he runs, he always keeps an eye out for nail and screws on the road…so that he can pick them up before they damage a tire. He then looks for the nearest storm drain and drops them down. I swear to God if I catch a fish and gut it and find screws and nails in it, it’s going to get ugly next year.

In other news, last night her brother was wearing a Tommy Hilfiger sweater with a scarf tucked into the collar—apparently his Vietnamese girlfriend thinks he’s the shit. Funny thing is, father-in-law’s father, is a retired navy officer. The guy looks like something out of the Godfather series—immigrated from Northern Italy. Tatted up with classic navy tats, tough as nails, and he does not like to talk about his son that much (father-in-law—no surprise). I was in Florida for the brother-in-law’s graduation this last summer and he pretty much asked the GF if she was a “Jap.” He had the look in his eyes as if she personally killed some of his shipmates during WWII.

Have to admit, I read JJ’s missing Geoffrey thread and I found myself dialing up my dad. My ‘ol man is somewhat of a mystery. He’s been divorced three times and for whatever reason, he always has women hanging on him. He’s probably the worst case of someone who should never be in relationships, who is always in relationships. He runs a trap club in Washington and his life revolves around shooting. He set up his reloading station where the dining room table use to be and he watches British comedies while reloading an ungodly number of shells. The latest news is that a girl, who he dated right before meeting my mother, is in the process of moving from Amarillo Texas to Vancouver, Washington. Strange, but he constantly refers to her as the one that he should have married. He’s trying to play it Dean Martin cool, but the guy is cursed. Guaranteed they have moved in together before the year’s up. I know this because I can hear Jackie Gleason in the background and this is his telltale sign that he’s smitten.

Enough about pops, I need to vent about what’s going to occur on Christmas and my plan to make myself a Turkey, which will be the only thing I will eat. Every Christmas with the in-laws, it’s the same story. There will be at least 5 veggie and cheese-based casseroles. There will be stuffing and then what vegetarians call veggie-pot roast, which tastes and looks just like stuffing. There will be at least three different salads and everyone will ask me if I have tried them. They all know that I do not like to eat/smell/or see pungent smelling cheeses…so I can guarantee that everything will have feta in it. I hate cheese! Anyhow, I am going to make a badass turkey…topped with flavor injections. I have a friend who is a chef—was invited to cook at the White House, and it’s his recipe. This turkey will be the only thing that I will eat on Christmas Day.

I plan to shoot the dinner spread and possibly interview each of her family members so you all can see what I deal with.

Merry Christmas—also, I have found that I cannot cap worth shit with these people in my house. I have to either tale someone or go completely cold. Someone post me a play!

[High3rEl3m3nt]

HighR,

Tell him that you're going to be the prick next year at SBR, and flash this website up on the 70 inch LED screen, and give him a trial run of what to expect from his son-in-law. Show him all of the Pricks vids and threads.
Bet the fukker, will call his old lady and cancel her flight on Thursday, and tell her he's coming home for Xmas, because their son-in-law is a GAMBLER. Them Adventist don't take to kindly to GAMBLERS, they have hard time talking in tongue about us.

Problem resolved...............Good Luck.

TM

Man, I dropped in the standing really bad...don't deserve to be the prick. Also, it's interesting because I know they hate gambling, but the man was a stock broker before a band instructor. He became addicted to it on the side and ultimately it led him to bankruptcy. Though, he swore to the mother-in-law that he'd never get involved again, I have caught him doing one of those fantasy stock market things. He also reads my financial magazines and is dying to talk about the market.

[Dad]

Higher, you have to post some pics of these looney tunes.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

I will try to post some live footage on Christmas, until then, this should give you guys a good idea of who I'm talking about.

[Dad]

Is there supposed to be a pic?

[High3rEl3m3nt]

Backstory:

Mother-in-law flew in last week and has been ordering her husband to take on a bunch of projects around my house. I don't need anything fixed and I definitely don't need some band instructor creating a mess that I'll have to fix. My day is already hectic as is.

Well, long story short, I get home from work and find my father-in-law tinkering around with my water heater--it's not even a year old. I asked him if there was an issue with the water heater and he said that he couldn't help but notice that the one of the pipes looked like it needed some repairing. I said don't worry about it and that it's perfectly normal for the pipes to not look spick and span. So, I'm back up stairs and his new orders are to replace some of the art we have on the wall with a god-awful family photo that was taken sometime ago around Christmas.

Video shows what kind of damage this man can do when armed with proper tools. Observe the turtle neck sweater, black jeans, and slippers. Enjoy!...more videos to come.

[buddha]

Focus, as much as you can, upon what you have in this Life. There are great things about your Life. One....it sounds....is that you do not have to see this man too often.

Don't allow negativity to trespass. Whatever is going on with the guy its not worth you stressing over. You cannot change others, nor can you control how other humans behave. Perhaps he was just perusing the H&G. Do not concern yourself with him, he is a temporary nuisance. He need not be a nuisance at all. It is only because you allow him to annoy you that he does that. Harness the power within your mind. Live your life and make that as free from worry as possible. Don't allow ignorance to set your mood, never let fools drag you down to their level. If you earnestly catch him stepping over the line i.e.: you have absolute certainty that he was rifling through your mail.....call him on it before he leaves. But not in an aggressive way.

Man to man tell him that your perception was that he was rifling through your mail.

You've got to....at some point....if indeed he was rifling through your mail....

establish with the man that this behavior is not acceptable to you.

[buddha]

Oh wow...we can post videos in posts??!!?? I didn't know. I just seen it from the post above mine when I hit submit reply and the post above mine had a video in it.

Awesome. This song was written in Heaven by the soul that was John Lennon with an assist from those souls that were Johnny Mandel, Nick Drake and Darby Crash.


You've a lot to look forward to.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

Good post and for all the hassle, I am able to laugh at most of it. Video might not be funny to you guys, but watching it makes me able to take him with a grain of salt.

[baskets]

that guy looks like he's had a dick up his ass.


-500 odds

one of those liberal dick-in-the-ass types

[samdapatriotsfan]

[Extra Innings]

You better hope he never googles "Forest Lake for Christ 2006"

[buddha]

You better hope he never googles "Forest Lake for Christ 2006"

and I wanna quote also baskets who pointed out (quite accurately in my estimation): "that guy looks like he's had a dick up his ass." because some when viewing that video would find among their first thoughts to be 'what reason would there be that a man would wear pants like that?' and the conclusion thats its because he's had a dick up his ass doesn't seem like a far-fetched one. Theres definitely a reason that a man wears pants that see the back of those way up in his ass crack. That shot is just strange.

Theres some thing psychologically wrong with this man. He's very likely had a dick up his ass at some point. Possibly when he was using a tape measure to measure a wall. Might be foreplay we're seeing in that video.

In his world anyway.

Maybe he was looking in your mail for something for him. Maybe he gets his mail forwarded when he visits.

Two weeks is a hella long time.

You are a strong and intelligent person though. While I do not approve in the least of a guest coming in and caulking up a non-leaking bathroom in such a manner that, after their caulking, the bathroom then leaks know that the incredulous nature of such and the way you described it brought laughter to me.

Embicial fuggin up your bathroom = bad but you know as well as I do that you wrote of it well and if it made me laugh out fuggin loud the idiota 'n their behavior are gifting you with solid literature and comdedy-stage material gold.

speakin' of gold I wanted to give j.j. a point for that first post of his in this thread but that shit was just too insane, too counter the peaceful zen-nature I'm supposed to be about and yeah...if they ever google forest lakes whatever....we're all harpooned.

Shit like you're being made to endure only makes us stronger....you were blessed with amazing family yourself. Not everyone is so fortunate. Try to assert your own will....try to set some boundaries with these people.

It is YOUR FUGGIN HOUSE and they have no right to come into your castle (however backwards and mentally obliterated they are) and fug up the bathroom or measure walls to change the interior. Politely and non-aggressively...set some Ground Rules. Call a Family meeting wherein only you speak until you decide they should respond. Express earnestly and from the heart what behaviors of theirs are unacceptable to you. Among these include that they should not ask for your advice on bulking up if they are gonna immediately continue fuggin jogging. You distinctly told them to cut that out.


She is an amazing girl. If she wasn't you wouldn't put up with this shit for a minute let alone......2 weeks.


Worth having to endure this idiot with pants up in his ass crack and a mind that somehow permits redecorating other people's walls without their asking.....


she is an amazing girl.


and they're not around that often.....it's hellish, yeah, time drags and to pull up to the sound of a fuggin trumpet I'd have....personally wondered if they hadn't decided to re-enact the damn Pax Romana in BlackDress all over again or if their lord had stopped by (finally) but dude....


turn it to your advantage, these people are comedy GOLD, develop a....whatever they call it when an artist creates under another name, a fake name, "pen name" maybe and write or tell the world about this shit. Others have made bank informing us on their in-laws craziness. No one has had anything close to this though.

You could very well make enough off stories about this trainwreck of in-laws to afford a 2nd house out behind your own house that they could show up and just do whatever the fug they wanted to....

prayer meetings shit whatever. Put tile on the garage floor.

Point being, of course: You are the Sun within this universe, idiot planets eventually retreat back into that darkness. Bless'd Be and Happy New Year.

[MadTiger]

Tell Mr. Roper the next time he does that, you are reporting him to the postal inspector. Then, bring him a beer. No hard feelings.

[excel]

I think OP is overreacting. The dad is clearly a survivalist; this is obvious by his preparation for a possible flash flood. He was probably sifting through the mail analyzing it for potential anthrax contamination. should have thanked him you ungrateful fuk. Here's an idea... if you don't want him fixing shit around your house, tell him.

[buddha]

He was probably sifting through the mail analyzing it for potential anthrax contamination.

or if that dick that got shoved up his ass got shoved there recently maybe he was checking the mail to make sure there was no dicks in there. That no one had mailed a dick.....to the house.

I know that doesn't happen often that people mail penises but maybe he is traumatized. Post Traumatic Dick Shoved Up His Ass Syndrome or....whatever. What I don't know is even where a man could buy pants like that.

Maybe an Adventist clothes store where, like, The Mormons have their own clothing stores but in the Adventist store the conversation would go something like this:

"That all for you today Jim? This pair of asshuggers and that tape measure?"

"Yeah Bob...don't reckon I'll need much more since the world is gonna end."

"Good planing Jim, well thought out, since we're all be lifted up to Heaven no point in buying a whole lot"

"That was my line of thinking Bob....you can't take it with you after all."

"Exactly right Jim. Is the store wobbling or are you walkin' kinda funny today?"

"No Bob, the stores not wobbling. I recently had a dick shoved up my ass."

"Oh my."

"I'll say."

"Won't matter....in the great by and by....because we'll slake off this Mortal Coil."

"Yeah....but its a bit sore and bothersome today."

"I guess."

"alright then"

"god bless"

"god bless you"

"goodbye"

"goodbye."

[Ra77er]

Buddha back away from this thread pal, let's save some of these writeups for the upcoming nba season, I need some winners.

[buddha]

Jesus we are some degenerates lol.

i love you all, hopefully you can get re-honed in for this day of NFL betting High3rEl3m3nt....

because this full slate of games terra ith rapidly diminishing.

HIT IT today Brother......


just....if you can focus and hit it....


....these next rest of the 2 weeks would go by so more easily so focus.

[Ra77er]

I mean it Buddha,
we need some good vibes here,
don't wanna see you blow your load in this thread.

[buddha]

Buddha back away from this thread pal, let's save some of these writeups for the upcoming nba season, I need some winners.

Lmao....I came here begging for NBA winners for Sunday....opening day....and no one responded. Yet.

I posted in Players Talk because thats where the Google Search for whether Bengals would cover the 4.5 against 'zona led me, its the first Google result lol...

and all I asked was for winners in NBA on Christmas Day for poor Mexican Children.

I think no one believed me. But its true.

So much for the Christmas Spirit. If you're an NBA sharp Ra77er dig my thread up from page 3 PT.....we need NBA winners now. Theres only, like, 20 something hours till the games start.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

Some sharp posts.

First, I think someone assumed that the guy is a liberal, but truth be told when trying to define his political leanings, you have to step outside of the box. For example, the guy is terrified of guns--I bought the wife a hundred rounds of 9mm. ammo for her stocking. They view guns in the same way that many liberals do. After my wife's parents found out that I bought her a handgun for her birthday, they sent a hunting shirt that had some slogan about how killing animals is fun, or something to that effect. Under their beliefs, if you own a gun you must be killing or wanting to kill something. He's quite conservative on other issues and I've come to realize that religion trumps politics and so, he's an Adventist.

By the way, Adventists are something to behold. For dinner the another night, we had what's commonly known as nachos, but what they refer to as haystacks. The only difference being that instead of using refried beans as the base, they put refried beans on top of the chips. Then, instead of using your hands like most Americans, they use forks. I now know what Livingstone must have felt like exploring the Zambezi River for the first time. It's all you can do to not automatically assume that these people are primitive, or are doing it wrong. Or are they?

About the video, I forgot to post an important detail. At the end of the video, you see him starting to walk out of the room. Guess what? After all of that measuring, he didn't even finish hanging up the photo. Wall is still bare.

I can't cap worth sh it under the current circumstances. JJ Gold, when you had family over, did their presence cause you to get buried? how much did you lose? Buddha, I am going to peep your NBA thread because I need picks and I am not accustomed to tailing people. Hope your guys' plays are as sharp as your posts in this thread.

[iFrat]

WOW. Great thread. Still laughing from the measuring video as I type this. I think Im more excited about seeing this interview video tomorrow than I am for my own gifts.

Also Buddah you are single handedly almost ruining this thread, please stop posting in here.

[flyingillini]

I don't get why they would want to stay at your house in the first place.... Anytime I go somewhere I stay in a hotel....Same goes for when family comes to visit me... They stay in a hotel.....

[firstclass]

get him to replace the wax rings on all your toilets

[High3rEl3m3nt]

I don't get why they would want to stay at your house in the first place.... Anytime I go somewhere I stay in a hotel....Same goes for when family comes to visit me... They stay in a hotel.....

First and foremost Merry Christmas SBR!

Believe me this family has the means to stay in a hotel. It's all about family and for that, I can't blame them.

Guys, I'm a hair under 30 and opening up in this thread has been therapeutic. What I'm about to say is not easy. Last night, on Christmas Eve, I went into a sort of hibernation mode. It was not pretty. I started and completed a 1000 piece puzzle by myself. Why? I don't know, but I need answers. Worst part was everyone had been leaving me alone until I had the damn thing nearly finished. With less than 45 piece left, the in-laws swept in and robbed me of puzzle-joy. If you have ever built a puzzle you know how wrong it is do something like that. It nearly broke me. It was harder to cope with mentally than my week-long survival trips that I do once or twice every summer--which involve eating frogs, snakes, squirrels and fern shoots and dreaming of ways to bring down a deer with nothing more than brute force.

I'm not myself lately. Another development that will be backed up by video, is that there is an additional guest for Christmas. One of their friends is spending Christmas with us too. She's from South Africa and is Adventist and is racist as hell. Last night, she couldn't stop talking about how ugly fat Mexicans are becoming the norm in the U.S and I tried to tell her that they aren't fat, but are really bodybuilders like Mayan. Wondering if she is not a SBR poster and whether she's been reading Opie's threads. Don't worry Mayan, I plan on showing her a closer pic of you posing...she'll see that her comments are inaccurate.

[Cougar Bait]

God what a nightmare

Your wife should feel lucky that her father is still alive

Really...

More to the point though, I would just tell that guy not to touch anything. If he had a problem with it I would ask him if it's his house. When he said no I'd say okay then. If you get divorced for that then you have no nut sack. Good luck in the future with this nightmare family. It's only going to get worse.