[Conan]

wel its a short story but bad dates are not my thing a couple of weeks ago i was working security at this bar aparently kicking people out turns on certin chicks so i caught the attention of this chick tats short red hair real punk looking chink kind of my thing so after we close i take her back to my place bang her and then we pass out middle of the night she dosent know but i am awake when she gets up i see her going around the room then she sits on my chair im wondering whats going on then i hear a tinke dripping down i think for a second realize while she is pissing in my chair confronting her wont stop the piss and may stop me from geting som in the morning so i gust had to ignor it and clean up after she left in the morn that was kind of shiity.

[Junkyard Dog]

last summer was with a girl ive been talking to at the park. i had to take a piss & go to find out that all the bathrooms have been locked up for the night. so i go around the building to piss & what do u know, two cops on foot patrol come walking at me. the pricks busted my balls in front of her, but hey at least i didnt get a summons.

[Thunder Gulch]

I picked up a girl one night when I was out drinking with my friends. It was a Saturday. She went home with me, and we basically laid around and ****** off and on for 30 hours. Monday morning rolls around and I get ready for work, like the rest of the world, but she isn't really making a move. Against my better judgement, I head out and leave her at the house. At the time I'm single and there really isn't too much valuable stuff in the house....later that day I go home expecting to get some sleep to catch up from the long weekend activity....well she's still there. Not only is she still there, she has gone to the store and is preparing dinner for me and my roommate. This is also the first time I've been around her complete sober and something just seems creepy now. Anyway, I roll with it and after some drinks and dinner, she's there, so what's a guy to do? I'm not running her off at 10pm even if I am tired. Back in the sack. Wild ass whore in the sack. Anyway, Tuesday morning, she is clearly not going to just leave. I man up and tell her "it's not ok for you to just stay here". She's upset, but she leaves. I don't call or anything because the whole thing was unsettling.
Fast forward to the next week back at the bar...yep, she's there, and yep, I'm hammered and horny and my judgement is impaired, so I take her home again. This time I run her off by Sunday and never saw her again.
Looking back I now understand how guys end up dead in their beds.

[HellSpawn]

this happened when I was like 15... I had this girl I was dating and we where at a mall near my house and we went with her BFF and her BF... so everything was good we went into the movies, and we start making out, and I start moving my hand to her legs and later on try to reach a little deeper, so when I finally get there, and I press a little, she suddenly screams "WAHT ARE YOU DOING!!??!?!" infront of everyone on the theater and infront of her friends, and I'm like WTF!?!?! (I obviously didnt say anything, and just got on the otherside of my seat...) anyways... we watched the rest of the movie... we get out and went to get something to eat, on the way over to the food court, apparently the BFF's exboyfriend was there and the actual BF started to get all mad and raging like hell... he started screaming in the food court to the other guy and you know... all the drama of "lets go outside"... anyways that didn't happen also... both chickened out, so now it was only me and the girl... and I was sincerelly already tired as **** cuz of this chaotic date... when all of the sudden a security guard comes up and starts blaming me for the incident of the other two guys, and that I am being kicked out of the mall, no matter how much I tried to explain they still dragged me out of the mall... and that was it for me... lol I got that girl on a cab, never saw her again (too much trouble in one night, can you imagine more days with her?)...

[brettels]

i don't date i just fuk

[TheCentaur]

Looks like this thread is dead and buried so I'll go ahead and name a winner. A lot of funny stories about nasty odors, boogers, puking, etc. but you can't beat witnessing a murder on your first date to kill the mood
They tried to go out again but something wasn't quite right

Asked a girl out in late spring, so we decided to walk around outside. It was nice out and she went to a different school than I did, so she showed me around campus for a while. It was pretty interesting, she was probably slightly out of my league and I thought things were going well. We decided to grab a bite to eat at a place in the nearby bar district and sat outside. Halfway into the meal a hobo wanders down the street playing a harmonica and just rocking out. We barely even noticed him because things were going pretty smoothly and we had just discovered that we enjoyed the same kind of music. All of a sudden we hear a lot of shouting and swear words and look over to see another homeless man had appeared on the scene, angry at the former homeless guy about who owned that particular spot. It got pretty heated. We tried to ignore it, but it was slightly impossible as they were about 10 feet away from us. All of a sudden, the second homeless guy pulls a knife and stabs the first guy in the neck. He died really quickly and blood was EVERYWHERE. We were questioned by the police, had to make statements and everything. Basically ruined the evening and I got one more date out of it where we struggled to make conversation. After a murder, things were just really anticlimactic.

[CityCowboy]

I was banging this girl, she was riding on me, i was spanking her booty, then i missed once and hit my balls. I had to stop immediately.

[chemicalbrother]

During my college days I went on a date with a random chick. I took her to a nice restaurant and we decided to kick things off with a few appetizers. The chick ordered a bowl of tortilla soup and started in on it. After a few minutes of her talking, blah blah blah...I noticed what appeared to be a big monster booger slowly inching out of her left nostril. I didn't want to embarrass the chick but the more she talked the more it seemed to inch out of her nose and engulf more of her face. After another 10 minutes or so the entire monstrosity of a booger just fell out of her nose and right into her bowl of soup!

The funny thing is that she never even noticed it and went right on blabbing about who knows what. Of course I was a complete gentleman and didn't mention the fact that she had a monster boog floating around in her soup. Alas, she finished the entire bowl of soup and even remarked about how tasty it was!! Everything was good to go after that. She was a freak and I couldn't stop thinking to myself that perhaps the booger was some type of aphrodisiac or something because it ended up being an epic night!

did you tell her that you stiffed on a 300 betpoints loan on sbr? that you are enough of an awful person that despite attempts to get you to pay your 6 points a day towards the loan, you continue to take (and lose, LOL @ U) your 6/day to the sportsbook?

bet her booger was a one-time accident. what's your excuse?

[a4u2fear]

No joke was dating this girl, her sister had a baby, so my girl adopted it (legally). A few weeks later she was raped by a close friend (were still dating), so I decided to stay for a little while because im not an ass. A month later she was diagnosed with cancer, again I decided to stay only so she wouldnt commit suicide, but she ended up dumping me so I wOuldnt have to go through her problems, what a relief

[a4u2fear]

Forgot to mention she adopted it because her sister ran away