1. 02-05-11 12:56 AM #1
    harlee71
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    So I went to COSTCO yesterday....

    Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm tired and annoyed and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore
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  2. 02-05-11 12:59 AM #2
    onlooker
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    I take it she wasn't good looking, or you would of looked pass the stupid question.
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  3. 02-05-11 01:00 AM #3
    shaggy3000
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    i call bullshit harlee but that did make me laugh and cheer me up after tonight's gaming
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  4. 02-05-11 01:01 AM #4
    King Mayan
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    she was trying to get in your pants harlee...
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  5. 02-05-11 01:01 AM #5
    gilbert91016
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  6. 02-05-11 01:01 AM #6
    HiTMaNN
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    The first mistake you made is feeding your dog Purina Dog Chow, That shit is crap for your dogs, it is the McDonald's of dog food.

    More Info On Purina

    The primary ingredient in this food is corn. Corn is a difficult to digest grain of limited value in dog food, and which is also commonly associated with food allergies. Even if this had been a good quality grain, we would still note that grains are an unnatural foodstuff for canines, and that dog food products should be based on meat rather than grain.
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  7. 02-05-11 01:02 AM #7
    harlee71
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    Quote Originally Posted by HiTMaNN View Post
    The first mistake you made is feeding your dog Purina Dog Chow, That shit is crap for your dogs, it is the McDonald's of dog food.

    More Info On Purina

    The primary ingredient in this food is corn. Corn is a difficult to digest grain of limited value in dog food, and which is also commonly associated with food allergies. Even if this had been a good quality grain, we would still note that grains are an unnatural foodstuff for canines, and that dog food products should be based on meat rather than grain.

    But it tastes great!
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  8. 02-05-11 04:26 AM #8
    rem sleep
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    Thats hilarious! Its messed up that they would ban you tho. Tell the manager that it was a joke and you have freedom of speech. You cant get banned for telling a joke I hope.
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  9. 02-05-11 04:36 AM #9
    robzilla
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    What happens really was that harlee went to costco but he doesn't have any money. He went to get some free samples, and they were giving away dog food. He ate some. Eom.
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  10. 02-05-11 06:05 AM #10
    dbnmln
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    you should go back to costco and get some cat food and see if you go through the same ordeal.
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  11. 02-05-11 06:45 AM #11
    chilidog
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    haha, i can't believe you guys fell for this; this joke has been circulating the net back since the AOL days
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  12. 02-05-11 07:00 AM #12
    jjgold
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    not natural for a dog to live in a house

    They belong in the woods
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  13. 02-05-11 08:14 AM #13
    Richkas
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    not natural for a dog to live in a house

    They belong in the woods

    anything over 20lbs inside a house is gross.
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  14. 02-05-11 08:18 AM #14
    Powderguy
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    Good convo starter
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  15. 02-05-11 08:38 AM #15
    txmagnolia2
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    We only feed our dog all natural meat based foods.
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  16. 02-05-11 08:45 AM #16
    stevek173
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    not natural for a dog to live in a house

    They belong dead

    Hate the damn things, stupid and unpredictable and I hate stupid and unpredictable people

    Funny thread though I knew you were full of it
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  17. 02-05-11 09:47 AM #17
    harlee71
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    BTW.....I Fukked her!


    Yes it was a funny.
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  18. 02-05-11 09:51 AM #18
    C-Gold
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    You've got to ask chicks in line stupid shit all the time to break the ice. If they aren't interested you lose nothing. If they are interested you can get a blow job out of it.
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  19. 02-05-11 09:56 AM #19
    stealthyburrito
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    fukk costco if they won't let you shop there anymore.

    if nothing else they shoulda offered you a job for that story
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  20. 02-05-11 09:59 AM #20
    pavyracer
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    Guys you think this is funny?

    Listen to this. I own a Smart car. I'm at the gas station filling it up. The woman on next pump asked me if the car is electric.
    Last edited by pavyracer; 02-05-11 at 10:30 AM.
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  21. 02-05-11 10:13 AM #21
    GOIRISH
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    is it possible to bring girls home in a smart car? i mean what do you say? do you warn them before you get to the car? Do they get scared when they see its size and start backing out ?
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  22. 02-05-11 10:26 AM #22
    forevergrindin
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    funny thanks for sharing
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  23. 02-05-11 10:27 AM #23
    ouman101
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    Now I know why you guys are so depressed. Most of you don't get out of the house anyways, and you don't even have a fukkin dog? Can you guys really beat your meat and gamble 24/7
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  24. 02-05-11 10:28 AM #24
    ouman101
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    Quote Originally Posted by pavyracer View Post
    Guys you think this is funny? Listen to this. I own a Smart car. I'm at the gas station feeling it up. The woman on next pump asked me if the car is electric.
    Does it have nice ?
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  25. 02-05-11 10:31 AM #25
    pavyracer
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    Quote Originally Posted by ouman101 View Post
    Does it have nice ?
    no they are only A cup size.
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  26. 02-05-11 10:33 AM #26
    pavyracer
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    Quote Originally Posted by GOIRISH View Post
    is it possible to bring girls home in a smart car? i mean what do you say? do you warn them before you get to the car? Do they get scared when they see its size and start backing out ?
    I'm married but let me tell you this. The car is a chick magnet.
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  27. 02-05-11 10:42 AM #27
    ouman101
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    Quote Originally Posted by pavyracer View Post
    no they are only A cup size.
    As long as they look good, then no problems
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  28. 02-05-11 10:51 AM #28
    thadchr
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    Made up or not, definitely cracked me up.
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  29. 02-05-11 10:52 AM #29
    marcoloco
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    thats an awesome story. lol

    but maybe the lady was trying to hit on u? could of maybe had fun with her in a different way....
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  30. 02-05-11 10:53 AM #30
    marcoloco
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    Quote Originally Posted by pavyracer View Post
    Guys you think this is funny?

    Listen to this. I own a Smart car. I'm at the gas station filling it up. The woman on next pump asked me if the car is electric.
    that should of been an easy bang. hope you closed the deal on that one
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  31. 02-05-11 10:53 AM #31
    thadchr
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    stevek, boo for your mean dog comment. How could someone hate a cute, loyal puppy?
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  32. 02-05-11 11:06 AM #32
    Wulfman14
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    Quote Originally Posted by ouman101 View Post
    Now I know why you guys are so depressed. Most of you don't get out of the house anyways, and you don't even have a fukkin dog? Can you guys really beat your meat and gamble 24/7
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  33. 02-05-11 11:07 AM #33
    Wulfman14
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    who the fuk would hate dogs. cats i understand but for the most part a well raised dog is the best friend to have
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  34. 02-05-11 11:42 AM #34
    urge2kill
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  35. 02-05-11 02:07 PM #35
    poochiecollins
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    Dogs are often loud, get their dirty paws on things, mess with other people in property, and defecate everywhere.
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