Originally Posted by
stevek173
Anywhere you want.
See Mike Richards' status w the Flyers for info on that.
Nina Daa asked me to hang out tomorrow.
Not doing it.
Just can't.
"Msg me when you are between girlfriends" is not a joke. It is dangerous.
I know what she wants Nina.
Tris still has me throwing up everywhere I still have no internal definition of what exactly happened there. I just walked out back and threw up into the snow everywhere.
Need time and rest and to focus on work Nina.
I'm so tired baby. I don't want to hurt or be hurt anymore. I want it to stop. I don't exactly know where it started. Maybe Nookie was right - maybe I won't be right for a long, long time and maybe bandaids won't work. They won't ******* work and I end up hurting others. It was funny for a bit it really was exacting a mans revenge on this world of evil women but baby you as a good woman know it doesn't work out that way. Tris said she would break me down to nothing and build me back up. What does that mean. Is she still doing it. Am I nothing now. I feel like it to be honest. But I am not raising those kids. No I am not. I never signed up for that. Did sodomizing her mean I signed up for it? I don't remember signing anything pertaining to that. Does that make me a dick? Did I ever say "I'm going to **** you up the ass then raise your kids then raise your kids?" NO I DID NOT.
So tonight or last night it is now Nina I go into Mm just to try to make shit cool after the pickel incident. She was not there, but her best friend coworker was. There was an old man in front of me, the other older lady ringing me up. There was an old man in front of me, taking too long. I didn't care, I am trying to get rest, buy some shit watch games and go home. Old lady said to me "Sorry he is taking so long" I say "That's fine, I got time to kill" just trying to be nice and make the old man feel as comfortable as possible right. Mm girl's best friend say, under her breath "I bet you do" she really did was not 1' away and did it so only I could hear and understand it.
Now this girl heard me telling Tris I loved her while I was trying to land Mm girl, who now won't even look me in the eye. Kharma? Maybe.
I'm just so tired baby. Am I a dick? Guess everyone has to be sometimes.
Nina don't let me hurt Daa.
Nothing to prove. Attractive? Not the best, it's Ok. Money? Yeah I make a little bit enough to live on and to have some decent excess my rof ain't goin nowhere. Esteem - extremely confident - is it a thing that girls like to take that and piledrive that into the ground to win a game? I am just trying to be real and enjoy life. Tranquilize my mind with what - alcohol? Sleep? Gambling? Where does it stop?
Family, yes family always refreshing.
No drugs here. None. Ever.
Makes no sense the bandaids DONT WORK. I really thought my head in her ass after a bottle would clear it up she wore restraints I put her in and she danced so well I was so nice and when we kissed deep she looked like she was in love.
Nina I can't do it ti Daa. I have seen her father. He ain't right. I need to be a nut job w my job because my clients love my compulsiveness there and nothing else. I should be a eunich actually. It would be constructive to the universe int he long run. How long does luck last? Nina I ****** Nookie what 90 times in 30 days? She was too drugged up to be fertile we both know it. With Tris i'll be honest - I knew something was off so I never skeeted. I think she was lying about the tubes. She pinned me to a wall and told me to. I said I would try then pretended to then didn't. She wants help with those kids Nina. She does.
Nina let's listen to some Stones and color sometime or something.
K Nina here is the main issue I think, in this state. I am straight Jersey. To a lot of people around here that means trash, that's fine, look away then. But I grew up in suburbia Jersey and worked for a very highly recognized advertising agency albeit just in sales because I didn't have the degree yet but I did pretty well. Semi pro beach volleyball and all at the same time, and alcohol.
DWI then, boss leaving, ****** up situation someone had to take it on the chin I chose to for the boys. I did I ate it hard. HARD. No car. Job had to go. Moved to central PA, friends in SC.
Built it up again quick. These people aren't great but they are not dumb either. Moved up quick. Companies out of business. People in jail, for real, not play time. I never ever defrauded anyone ever, they kept that shit away from me not that I would ever have bit. I guess the catholisist portion of me shows some. Then why drink so much, why be so miserable. Oxymoron maybe. I tried to be loyal. And not to hurt anyone. Do you know what it was like. No one I knew cared. I lived in central PA and was doing this shit for people hanging people out to dry, didn't know it though. In the end they tried to stiff me. I told them to go F themselves and actually they settled with me to be honest. They didn't want any further trouble.
So the history meets the present right. The history meets the present. I do pretty good now. I just know how to talk to people, after all this time and all the bullshit the one thins IS - BOTTOM LINE. WHAT DO YOU WANT. WHAT CAN I DO. HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS WORK. And that's it.
For any of you who don't know that's it. And I am sick of hearing about "chasing", "stiffing", "rolling" all of it I DON NOT CARE. You DO NOT KNOW the pussy I have seen (YES 2 at once boys) how I have been been beaten up to the point where I thought I thoguht I was dead, yes I have been shot but only in the arm, the abuse, oh boy the abuse. There is no excuse for stiffing, you do it **** you. USA makes it easy fools. Get a degree eat shit if you don't.