Originally Posted by
ParlayininHTown
Win or lose, this shit is so self-destructive for me.
Why am I doing this? I don't enjoy this ...
I feel so empty all the time, whether sober or high. I can't seem to find enough energy and motivation to go out more often instead of watching games and sweating action.
I don't feel like doing anything different and messing up the routine. I don't have enough confidence to handle it. I just go through the motions and do what I have to do ... I don't know what I'd do with my free time without the action.
Why can't I live? Why am I so scared to live?