<BIG>'Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse
Grandma and Grandpa were singing a song
And the kid was in bed flogging his dong</BIG>
<BIG>Ma, home from the cat house, and me out of jail
Had just crawled into bed for a nice piece of tail
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter</BIG>
<BIG>Away to the window I flew like a flash
Threw open the shutters and fell on my a**
The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow
Gave a whore-house-like luster to the objects below</BIG>
<BIG>When what to my blood shot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and two mangy reindeer
With a little old driver a pounding his d***
I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick</BIG>
<BIG>Slower than snails his reindeer they came
He b***hed and he swore as he called them by name
Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls
Quick now, damn it, or I'll cut out your balls.</BIG>
<BIG>Then up to the roof he stumbled and fell
And came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
He staggered and stomped and went to the door
Tripped on his peter, and fell on the floor</BIG>
<BIG>I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight:
Piss on you all, this is a hell of a night.</BIG>
<BIG></BIG>