[GenosPicks]

Ahh… a crisp Tuesday morning here I lovely NYC as I piece together last nights Monday Night game trying to figure out how The Dolphins fooled me and Swingin’ Johnson into taking them. The BFL has decided neither Schwartz or Harbaugh will be fined in handshake-gate which is fine. The only really annoying part of that tidbit is that whenever there is a controversy nowadays we put “gate” after it. Really, was Watergate the most significant crime in history? How about handskake-ifixion, handsahake-ocaust, or—so the kids will realize how disgusting a crime can be—we call it handshake-ardashian? In any case, here are the two things that have made my Tuesday more black and bitter…


Campbell coming back this year?
Despite his broken collarbone—which usually will cost a QB the season—Jason Campbell has promised Raider’s fan to try to return before the season over. I couldn’t believe that when I read it, not that he said it but that the source used the word “promised” instead of “threatened.” If you made a list of reasons the Raiders are 4-2 this year, the long list would say “their running game, Defense, and Sebastian Janikowski;” the short list would just say “by keeping the ball out of Jason Campbell’s hands.” Campbell has a pair of 300-yard performances—coming in both of the Raider’s losses—when Buffalo and New England were throwing prevent defenses at him begging him to throw the ball. The Raiders managed to hold onto their win with Kyle Boller at QB because he did what they always do—put the ball in the amazing capable hands of their RunDMC and Michael Bush. The Raiders will be fine this year not because of whoever is under center, but because like the rest of the AFC west—their schedule offers them half a dozen games against the mediocre to terrible AFC West (yes that includes you Chargers fans) and a handful of gimmes like Miami, Minnesota, and Miami. The most annoying thing is I find myself rooting for them in honor of Al Davis… which is weird because I’m not always a fan of dead things… as evidenced by how I’ve been bashing Campbell and his throwing arm.


Sparano’s checking the Want Ad
The Dolphins offense was the shakiest thing I saw last night—which is saying something because Michael J Fox was on also on David Letterman at 11:30. In any case, anyone who bet in these idiots like me got what they deserved in watching them mishandle more balls than an elderly hooker and putting an ounce of faith in the punk that will always be Brandon Marshall. Marshall kept true to his promise of being out of the game by the second quarter as the only thing one could see wearing the #19 last night was Marshall’s stupid, selfish ego. On the very first throw to him on 2-and 10, the man who wants to be a monster, ran an 8-yard crossing pattern and after catching the ball—rather than continue along the play and gain countless more yards—he turned backwards to stiff-arm Darrelle Rivas where he was immediately tackled for a 9-yard gain. Given the Dolphins anemic offense, it doesn’t take Columbo to deduce what happened on 3^rd and 1, as the only person who didn’t know a run was coming was Mike Nolan—the Dolphins Defensive coordinator. Fins stopped and punted. Not to be outdone, he literally cost the Dolphins two touchdowns on one drive in the second quarter when—after beating a Miami CB with no one in front of him, lost track of where he was on the field and ran out of bounds at the 19 when the only two things in green and white that could have tripped him up on his way to the endzone were Rex Ryan’s breasts. Then on that same drive on a 3^rd and goal he missed a TD pass.
Marshall is cancer to every team he plays for and while he had an opportunity to set the pace of the game on his first reception he chose instead to keep a promise to his twitter followers and on a play that could have put the Dolphins up 10-7 when the Jets and changed the entire game. And what’s the point of having that huge a target when he
Has been targeted a total 10 times in the red zone this year with only one catch! In fact Moore targeted Marshall three more times last night and only one went for a touchdown—unfortunately that was a 100-yard completion to Darrelle Rivas. Why, because Marshall plays like woman and like every woman, needs to be avoided in the Red Zone—the moment they get there they act erratically and—even when you try to connect with them when they’re in that space—they make you look like the jackass. Just ask Matt More and his 100-yard pick six that Marshall still has yet to look up for as he was too busy trying to push over Rivas, who if you watch, merely stepped out of the way, let him fall forward and took this ball to the house.

Wildcard Wednesday tomorrow guys when I’ll give you my take and prediction on the 2011 World Series