I offered this guy I know a free flight to Vegas and a coupon for a free deck of cards from the Nugget, and in exchange he had to meet a poster called "Fishhead" and take notes for me on his demeanour, betting style, overall appearance, whether he wears a rug, has a lazy eye, one leg shorter than the other, general insecurities, etc.. Of course this guy accepted and boy do I have the scoop on Fishhead for you.

This guy carries around with him the biggest fukkin coupon book you've ever seen. He has coupons for match-play bonuses from every casino in the state of Nevada, double the points on selected slot machines, 2 for 1 ice cream cones, you name it. And when you think you've seen the last of them he pulls another one out from somewhere. I have no idea where he keeps all these coupon books on him. He also has all these slogans to motivate himself to keep hunting for free shit, like "a dollar saved is a dollar earned". The guy is a +EV machine.

At one point in time he had the entire Vegas garbage collection staff on his payroll collecting discarded match-play cards from various casinos. Then he got impatient waiting for the garbage staff to get back to him so he hired bums at half the wage to collect them directly from the dumpsters themselves. Then the guy goes up to a blackjack table, throws down the match-play, wins (he always wins), and goes to the washroom. You think the guy is taking a fukkin leak? No he is in the toilet stall changing his shirt and jacket suite inside out, putting on a fake moustache and a hairpiece, and out he goes in disguise to hit the same fukkin table for another match-play bonus (this time not only he wins but gets blackjack). He is also a master of accents, and no one knows it's the same guy. He is earning himself $20 every 5 minutes doing this until he is off to the next casino to do the same thing. Instead of walking straight out to his truck and heading off, he stops off at the front desk and asks the clerk for "another one of those welcome packages", which, you guessed it, has another match-play bonus inside. She asks him what room he's in, and without hesitatation he gives her a room number. She says "oh, I apologize for the inconvenience Mr. Beaudoin" and hands him the welcome package. Of course he is not staying at that hotel (he sleeps in his truck).

Finally the guy takes a break and sits down at the sportsbook looking at lines. A waitress comes up and asks if he wants a free drink, he says sure, but then she asks if he has a ticket at the sportsbook. Now here we thought he was finally out of luck, but the guy says no problem and pulls out a ticket from his fukkin backpocket. It's a 3 dime bet on the Pirates at +320. Of course he got the Phillies at -275 earlier in the day. The waitress was suitably admonished and returned with his drink. Fishhead turns to my hired gun and says "a dollar saved is a dollar earned, sir". The guy really likes the word "sir", and apparently kind of looks like bigboydan too.

At this point my guy got tired and had to take a break from following Fishhead. God knows what Fish did the rest of the day.

How does this guy do it????????

- mathy