Originally posted on 09/06/2015:

Unreal... I'm sitting at this bar. It's completely dead. I'm flirting with the bartender... usually I don't do sh#$ like that... and she's talking to me. She leaves to go help with the cleanup. This black girl comes up to me... she goes hey... are you by yourself? I'm like yep lol I am... (saying to myself... yep I'm one lonely fukking loser tonight.) She goes... come sit with us. I'm already bombed... probably had 7 shots of Captain already in short glass. She goes... this is Andrea... (some blonde hair fat girl).... I'm Brandi... (and yes for a blacky... you do look hot I must say..) and we're throwing a going away party for my friend at work. Guy looks like a complete nerd. Anyways... I'm sitting in a booth... Brandi the blacky is sitting across from me... and Andrea the fatty is to my right. The Detroit Tigers replay is going on in the corner... I'm checking it out.

The Andrea girl goes how old are you? I said I'm 38... she goes.. guess my age... I said... I'm not good at that kind of game... she goes... I'm 27... does it bother you? I'm like naw... not at all. I'm making small talk... and the girl starts grabbing my arm... and sitting her head on my arm. (I'm saying what the fuk. But I'm hammered... so who cares right? lol) If you were sober... you'd be like... lol get off.

Everyone starts clearing out for the remainder of this party... this girl starts talking more about her personal life... she goes I have mixed kids... does it bother you? I said nope... doesn't bother me one bit. It is what it is. She goes... do you have kids? I said nope.. She goes I'm going outside to load up my friends car... don't leave yet. lol I said Ok I won't. I head to the john to take a leak.

She's outside... talking with some dude... I walk over and say... hey I'm leaving... did you want to talk? Or what?? She goes yep... I said hop in my car. We start making out about 5 minutes in. Honestly... the fatty is a good kisser. I'm shocked and start getting a woodrow. I have no care... and she starts talking about other nonsense.... and I start rubbing one in front of her... lol I have no care... I'm like fuk this... I'm just going to say.... it... do you want to go in the backseat? She goes Yep! We hop in the back.... I just whip it out... and she goes down on it like a champ. Unreal after losing 1,400.00 I'm still pissed off... but slightly amused. Why do fat girls give the best head jobs??? Haven't had an easy encounter like this in quite some time...

She was probably the fattest girl ever... pretty... but fat... and I don't care.

Like I said... fat girls just know what a man needs. It's remarkable. Now I can sleep better... just a little better. Peace.