Originally posted on 02/18/2015:

Quote Originally Posted by Kermit View Post
haha....... this reminds me of a halloween party my ex wife and I had in the mid 90's in Austin; a bunch of her junior league friends (who always tried to act "proper" yet I knew they were little gutter snipes) and their husbands, and a bunch of my friends and their wives. My ex and I were the "Brady''s, mike and whatever the fck the blonde's name was), and i was wearing tight polyester pants.

we had a dog with a big ass plastic squeaky carrot chewtoy, but the thing had the outline of a well sculpted schlong with a giant head (the green leafy shit on top of the carrot formed the head). quite certain the designer of the "squeaky" chew toy knew exactly what the thing looked like, but that's another story....

so, while my wife is standing there telling some type of story to all of her prim and proper junior league friends, I go get the chewtoy and shove it down my pants much like the photo above, but only better.... i walk up beside my wife, who, as she's talking, begins to notice all of her friends eyes leaving hers one by one, and looking toward my crotchal region..... finally, when no one is paying attn to a word she's saying (I'm just knda standing there beside her looking at her telling the story, so that the chicks would feel free to meat-gaze without me catchin' em), she realizes they are all staring at my huge fuckin' chewtoy carrot buldge, my ex says "What????? she looks down at my crotch, and goes "what is that?!?!?!??!!?!" and grabs for it, squeezing it and making it squeak..... of course i'm laughingly saying stuff like, "hold off, baby, not now, we'll do it later..... stop, you're gonna make it explode..... etc....."

after that, the kinky ones in the junior league group always liked hangin' round with me........