Originally posted on 03/25/2014:

Weeder, practice sex on Grandma late nights while she lies asleep. The last thing you wanna do is score some fine bird at the discotheque and be ill-prepared in the sack. Get a few reps in on Grandma just to acclimate yourself to the thrust of the hips. If she happens to awake mid-coitus, just tell her you're frantically searching for a contact lense. Elderly people will believe anything.