Originally posted on 08/07/2012:

This makes total sense. He got in to Harvard Law School by being in cahoots with the libruls at Havard because they knew he was going to be President. Therefore he didn't have to try hard during his undergrad, because he already knew where he was going and that he was already going to get in.

Just like his family called some Hawaiian newspapers to forge a birth notice when he was born, under the pretense that he would need that forged proof someday so he could stay President and give more people health care.

I have sources deep, deep, *deep* within the under layers of the government that inform me that he did coke so that he could see what the 1980s were like before they were complete. Oh, and that Roswell *is* harboring the carcass of a crashed alien and its spacecraft for research purposes, but only the Vice President knows. Just like in Independence Day.

And so it's up to Will Smith and that guy from Jurassic Park to save us, except in this case Will Smith is a 37 year old white guy with 14 kids and three jobs because he doesn't believe in contraception or regulation of the banks.

AMERICA!